Butchaholics flock together, and make the all the lesbians scream. And when they've quieted down, welcome them to SLASH IS ROSSER! The column designed for fans, anti-fans, playas, bustas, hustlas, everybody, is back! So, C'Mon baby! It's the TIME ON CRZ OR RANTSYLVANIA WHEN I CORE RESPOND DANCE!:

(Please keep in mind I took care of one of these with my weekend column, still available HERE. I hope all caps=link.)

Samuel Zimmerman brings forth the Britney bashing: "Britney at the Doctor's Office"

BRITNEY: "Doctor, I'm having trouble with my head."

DOCTOR: "You should pay more attention to the tip, and swallowing helps, too."

-->Ironically enough, the same way the boy bands got their starts.

Mandatory counterpoint by Shawn Colton: Hail to the Butchster ! I see Cyan, and Mikey ( God, don't call him that, BTW ) have columns up but the Butchster gets first priority tonight and NOT just because you are the first of the three in the alphabetical order of my E-Addy book, either. I will now click on the articles link and begin the beguine.....
Hey, who the hell is this Shawn Colton guy ? Oh yeah he's that dork that posts on Delphi. Man, that dude sucks.........I mean THANKS ! :)
That CRZ actually reads our stuff enough to put the links in amazes me sometimes, unless you dink with HTML like Michaelangelo does.
Heh Heh " Baby Got Strat " .
Speaking of which she is literally crammed in those tops she wears. I mean, she's chesty and all, but I bet she can't wait to take those clothes off when she backstage.
Madden my Words.....Okay, I get it now. ( Damn Milwaukee's Best 40 is slowing the grey matter to a crawl apparently ).

Here we go ....meat and potatoes baybeeeeeeeeeee! I must really like those.........

15. I'm not sure *what* I would do with D-LO right now. I mean, I know all of the internet is in a furor about getting him way from Kama Shango and all, but I suspect the WWF are as stymied for D-LO ideas as I am.
14. I'm excited about April 10 th. I am also fearful of April 10th.
13. Gangrel may be getting the bum's rush. I mean they fired his wife
for Chripes sake. Hint, Hint. Nudge is as the same as a wink to a blind bat, eh ?
12. Torrie's as cute as a bugs ear and all but I find her almost TOO perfect. If that makes any sense.
11. I have liked and always will like Kurt Angle.....unless they make him a crossdressing incest victim from Iran or something.
10. I think people are forgetting a similiarly character challenged wrestler named Bret Hart, when they say Chris Benoit will never be over.
09. For the first week since Russo joined Nitro I missed the show. So did a lot of people judging from that 1.8. It would have been HILARIOUS if the recap show did like a 3.6 or something. That would have Siegel scratching his head.
08. T&A have been around for all of three weeks, if that. How people can expect them to gel so quickly pisses me off quite frankly. As for Trish, trust me it's all nerves right now. She'll get much better on the stick. She seemed well spoken and lucid when I met her. But I'm not exactly a stadium of 20,000 and a viewership of millions on TV am I ?
07. Stephanie reminds me too much of my little sister to get attracted to her. Go figger.
06. I wonder when Booker's contract is up. Vince would know what to do with him. I felt that a couple of weeks ago Booker was shooting BIG TIME on the kissing ass issue when asked about Russo and The Bisch's return.
05. You actually like La Parka's battling with the microphone.Maybe it'll be the first great " Feud With An Inanimate Object "...or then again......
04. Why are you the Shah again ? So you can be usurped in a coupe de tat by the people who blindly follow crack pots ?
03. I'll second all three BOOS. ( and all three Boobs for that matter ! Wakka Wkka ! )
02. Eddie is the king. I concur. I agree too. :)
01. Yeah, I dunno if it's the smart in me or if it's the blind mark in me, but I have no problem with the Vince heel turn. Not yet anyway.

See Ya ! Keep on rockin' and rollin', and struttin' and strollin'.
Shawn Colton

-->I can't believe I'm going to try to respond without repeating myself, but here it goes.
-->The DELPHI FORUMS are delicious, nutrious, and ward off cancer. Last week it saved a bunch of nuns trapped in a burning building. Nice almost R.E.M. reference. The link thing is pretty cool--I swear one of these years I'll learn HTML. Why'd you make me think of Trish getting naked? There went the coherency. What's wrong w/meat and taters? D'Lo--actually I've got a good angle for him in my BR2K, but since I demand hits, I'll save it and let everyone else find out what it is. What'd ya think of Nitraw2K? Yeah, Torrie gives off that Fembot feel sometimes, you got a point. Angle does rule. Most new wrestling fans have the attention span of four-year-old crackheads, which is why I love when CRZ brings up old shit cause I know people out there are going "Rikishi used to be THAT GUY?". Trish has got the nerves. It'll get better. And quit rubbing it in. If I didn't have this restraining order agaisnt me, I'd have met her too. Booker plan, my way, below. I'm the Shah cause everyone's turning into the Ayatollah of something or other.

WOW! For all 3 of you left, it's the LISTO DEL FUEGO:

15) **WHY, OH GOD, WHY IS THE BOSSMAN IN THE MAIN EVENT?**
As I continue my slide towards atheism...

14) **WELL, IT'S STEVIE RICHARDS' BIGGER BROTHER**
Just team them up! It'll be like "Twins"! They can do my BX idea! Word, baby, Word!

13) **WHITHER NORMAN?!**
Come on, Smiley is money! He could show that big punk Sid what a REAL submission move looks like.

12) **MARK MADDEN...**
Everybody! "MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!" Somebody needs a Mansierre. You could see Jon Benet-Ramsey in his stomach trying to fight her way out.

11) **THE DON OF HEELDOM**
Well, I guess he's stuck plugging "RRRRRRRRRRRROLLERJAM", but Callis still owns, no matter what Network it is.

10) **WWF STILL ON USA**
Now, if only they could get a decent lead-in for RAW...

09) **MY WCW CHAMPS!**
World-Double J United States-Booker T. TV-Kidman Cruiserweight-Psychosis Tag-Los Fabulosos Hardcore-Wall (since they're still pushing his pale talentless ass)

08) **ECW ALL UP IN A HEAVAL**
World Champ yet t be determined. TV Title going through RVD withdrawls. Only one team as justifiable champs. And the PPV's in a month. Paulie's got a long uphill battle to fight.

07) **LATINO HEEEEEEEEEAT!**
All my friends know Eddie Guerrero. Eddie Guerrero is a little heeler. And www.eddysucks.com is on it's way! Foley bless technology!

06) **AWESOMEGATE**
Yes, he's stuck in the middle it's true. Just wondering what it is he should do. Maybe WCW can't have him back and ECDub sure won't cut him no slack. Japan to the left of him, legal problems to the right, and here he is...

05) **ERIC & VINCE TOGETHER**
Which one adores crepes suzette and which one likes to rock n' roll?

04) **TAKA=RATINGS!**
Two championship narrow losses have Taka mad over. I forgot Triple H was supposed to utterly own his ass Monday. Another great job. Maybe he can kill Viscera, and get more over!

03) **DUDLEYS TURN FACE**
You HAD to see this coming! Everyone loves "Slap Shot"! Just don't hurt Trishie, though.

02) **VISUCKRA BEATS Y2J?!?!?!**
The next thing you know, Mideon's going to be Eurochamp again.

01) **KIDMAN BEATS HOGAN**
This is a microcosm of my greater thought on the whole new WCW era: it's going to be confusing. All of us on the Web are solidly in the Kid's corner. All the marks are behind Hogan. It's like a weird parallel universe thing. But at least they've got my interest back. Whether they keep it is another thing, but WCW, welcome back to #2.

@LARGE: Flair and Douglas work a program (we think), T & A ascending, Whither Artist & Duggan to give up belts, Jerry Lynn gets award for saving kid's life, RVD back in days, Liger wins Super J Cup, Abbott v. Goldberg on the horizon, BB gone for good, Dueling Signs on Nitro & Raw.

I got a journalism conference this weekend and no access to a computer for the foreseeable future. You may have to go an entire week without me. Please, stop crying. And "Baby Got Strat" WILL be out before the end of the month if I have to kill Bill Gates dead to get it out. Britney's got a new video/album "Oops!...I Did It Again" and a World Tour in June. I can only assume the name stems from having the sex and THEN asking for money. HA! I'M BACK, BABY!

And I'm also outta here like I stole somethin'!