First off, a missive from Mark Bishop: Can you do me a favor and take a peak over at http://www.albany.net/~hit/puroresu/titles/wcw/ and tell me what's so spectacular about Eddy getting the European title? As for Benoit, hell, with what they've done with the IC title, that's hardly any better than the hardcore title.

You made me do this, Mark. You. Remember that. Alright, so back in pre-Internet supermark days, I'm watching WCW. Some guy named Chris Benoit comes out of a limo and says some thing or other about he belongs here. I see a Saturday Night match between Eddie and him that gets a double 10 when Benoit hits the uber belly-to-back release suplexes. I instantly become fans of theirs.

You want spectacular, Mark? Well, let me clear my throat.

Back in WCW, Eddie had a U.S. title reign. People barely remember it, if at all. You see, back then Eddie was a clean-cut babyface who pretty much went out and wrestled, and lucked into the belt when the nWo beat down DDP. Sure, Eddie could wrestle. But he didn't really have a gimmick. Ergo, 95% of WCW watchers then didn't care. [Hey, you think that number's high? These people STILL CHEER HOGAN.] Eddie would lose to another all workrate/no gimmick guy, Dean Malenko. He hung on the outskirts of WCW with the LWO and Chavo stunts before the exodus.

Now for Benoit. We on the Net took to him, yet it took until April for him to get a tag title and August for him to have a single title reign recognized on TV after some 3 years with the company. He went on to hold the TV Title (lost to RICK F'N STEINER), after losing the U.S. belt to Sid. He held the World Title, and because of personal convictions, left it all behind.

Spectacular?

It's the beginning of April. The R4dicals have been in the WWF for barely two months, and not even wrestling all of that in Eddie's case. But---they're all OVER. IN TWO MONTHS! It took years for them to get over in WCW, let alone get gold. Not to mention that 95% of the time during their matches, those idiot announcers were hyping Hogan or the nWo, or talking about their kids' Little League games. WWF programming has taken great precausions to not make this happen, especially in Benoit's case since he doesn't work a mic as often. They have taken WCW's little used idea of "Silent But Violent" and hyped it when he isn't. We don't need Lawler yelling out because Benoit is sticking to his strength--that pesky in-ring work--and showing his gimmick.

As for Mr. Guerrero, he had people chanting "Eddie Sucks" at him WHEN HE COULDN'T WRESTLE! Now that he can, he's won the European Title, and he's OVER. How about all those "Latino Heat" signs, jerky? Chyna is also going to help him get more over, because she's doing what she does best--heel valet. Eddie has been downright hilarious in an angle that hasn't even really gotten close to peaking, and by the way, when the time comes to deliver those 15-to-20 minute classics against Jericho that Bisch pissed away, Eddie can do that as well. THAT would be what's so damn "spectacular".

Yeah, Mark Henry and Shane McMahon were Eurochamps, and the likes of the Mountie and the Godfather I-C. But Benoit and Guerrero are over, champions, and recognized in just over two months as opposed to the years of toil spent in Atlanta. Not only that, but they've got the potential to be champs for many a year to come. And they've been champions of the #2 and #3 belts LESS THAN A WEEK!

As your boy Jeff Jarrett would say, "Choke on that, slapnuts!"

Me in down-time: I'm doing a WM2K (game) sim in which I set storylines and feuds, what have you. Differences--I have renamed the Eurotitle the Internet title. The Hardcore Title has been wished out to the cornfield, in its place the Submission Title. Hardcore Rules, winner must tap out or be knocked out. Since this letter inspired this column instead of what was planned, the first of BR2K will come next week, along with the "Baby Got Strat" I promised.

Stevie Richards must be spinning in his metaphorical grave.

I'm outta here like I stole somethin'!