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Guest Columns | Butchster |
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WORD FROM THE BUTCHSTER Hello, dedicated Butchaholics! A day late, but not a dollar short, WCW= Retry, Fail, Abort, and welcommen to SLASH...IS...ROSSER!! [Hey, if Lil' Poochie gets to rhyme badly, I do too.] Well, V-Day was hell, and JLH's is upcoming. I hate to be the Rock promo in Christopher Robin's Blackman match, but my life sucks and this is one of the few things I do right now I really like. And it's thanks to you. Since my ankle wasn't taken out, consider this the post-programming part of the show on CRZ OR RANTSYLVANIA WHERE I CORE RESPOND DANCE!
trdn89: Well, damn, I think you just became my new personal hero. I read
your col-iz-umn with alarming regularity and I can't express enough how much
it gets better with every episode...oh, and I don't want to marry JLH, but I
sure do want to fuck her (can I get away with fuck since I didn't say it?
Guess I'll find out-B).
marvellous martin RE: the Booker T thing: I don't think they meant anything
racist. Check my [slash] column out.
ADRgizmo: WWF will be as strong as ever, and they will dominate for a
verylong time. The ratings say it all.
And in a sidelite, Jason M. Wachter and I had an exchange regarding the last
line in last week's column: And of course, to further piss me off, no "Freaks & Geeks", no "Time of Your Life". I ain't gonna watch Nitro, damnit! CRZ is crying for our sins, people. Anyway, it's the LISTO DEL FUEGO, yes it's a big ol' LISTO tonight. 15) **LUGER!(?)** Good news: WCW has gotten me to like him. Bad news: He's a bad guy? How? He's with Flair, he's beating up Hogan. Sounds like a face to me! 14) **NITRO SIGNS** 1st place runner up- "Where's Silver King?" 1st place- "Where's the Rock? Where's Triple H? WHERE ARE WE?" 13) **MAE YOUNG & MARK HENRY** If you don't know what I'm going to say by now... 12) **DUDLEYS #1 CONTENDERS** Damn the WWF's booking staff's oily hides! In my WM2K book, I was going to have them win it THEN! Oh, well. TESTIFY! 11) **HEAD CHEESE LOSES** Snow RHYMES with ho, people! How surprised can you be? But our favorite motley crue will get things back on track. For as we all know, the only thing keeping the WWF afloat right now is Steve Blackman. 10) **ANGLE v. JERICHO @ NO WAY OUT?** This would be good, and I realize that the Eurochamp should technically be the #1 IC contender in theory, but this is indicative of Titan not being able to scrounge up good opponents for Y2J. See, not everything they do rules. Just 99.32% of it. 09) **EDGE & CHRISTIAN v. THE HARDYS AGAIN?** Watching these 4 young guns is like sex. When it's good, it's really good. Hell, even when it's bad, it's still pretty good. 08) **ESSA RIOS, LIGHTHEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION** Nice responses from the crowd, and Amy Dumas is with him--always a plus. In the interests of helping him get over, his finishing move (generic top-rope moonsault) will be called the Full Length Essa. 07) **NEW JACK PROMO** He rules. They should have him on the stick more often, he brings a sort of gritty reality to the table. 06) **NORMAN!** And there's one of the few things I can complement WCW on. He should buy the TV Title from Chavo (if that angle's still around) and defend that. Word. 05) **MS.HANCOCK** It's so rare that I get the chance to quote my favorite #1 70s song about French prostitutes but gitchy gitchy ya ya da da! 04) **THE DON OF HEELDOM** Man, Callis f'n rules. The best part is, he's doing this entirely with words, not wrestling. WWF let him go (maybe 98.38%) and now he's mad over. The tongue is mightier than the pen. Jackyl, you r-r-r-r-r-r-r--rock! 03) **EUROPEAN CHAMPION & RACOUNTEUR KURT ANGLE** Hmmm...didn't someone say IN HIS VERY FIRST COLUMN (CRZ, subtle hint for linkage) that KA should have that strap? And the best part is none of you can see me bowing right now. 02) **BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR SEAN WALTMAN** Front row seats for Smack!Down: $50. A program of the event: $12. Soda & nachos: $10. The look on X-Pac's face when Tori got Tombstoned: priceless. Some things are priceless. For everything else, there's the WWF. {If they'd made THAT commercial for the Super Bowl I bet it would've worked, huh?) 01) **BENOIT BEATS ROCK** But I thought Benoit wasn't over yet? I thought Rock was "too good to job"? Can you tell I'm using the Matt Foley/Dr. Evil School of Quotation Fingers to indicate "sarcasm"? @LARGE: nWozzzzzz, Demon buried, miseducation of Booker T, SuperBrawl gonna suck, why pushing tank abbott?, Kanyon gone?, Dustin Rhodes back, Raven evenflows Francine, bye-bye Tom Landry. And to Charles Shultz, who's up in heaven: I hear the little red-headed girl holds the football up there, so you should be O.K. And you will be missed. I'm outta here like I stole somethin'.
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