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Marvellous Martin

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MARVELLOUS MUSINGS
The torment of being a wrestling fan in the 'real world'.

Happy Valentines Day. I hope you people are happy celebrating one of the most irritating and pointless dates on the calendar. You should be telling your loved one how you feel all year round any way. Go find something else to wastle your money on, try taking up smoking or something. I hate Valentine's Day!!!! Sorry, I've been having one of those 'I look around and everyone has someone except me' kind of days. *Sigh*.

Enough of this self-pity, on we go to:

I HAVE BEEN RECEIVING EMAILS

Seeing as I didn't get any valentines :( , here is mdb of [slash] fame to disagree with me: You wrote: "WHY have the Radicals (I HATE THAT NAME! DAMN YOU JR!) been Turned heel? They got a great reaction from the crowd when they 'invaded'. Why take three men who are getting a great crowd reaction and turn them heel?"

Spread the word far and wide: The WCW4 are better as heels, much much better. Besides, Heel WCW4 vs. Face Hardyz, Edge/Christian, Jericho. Think about it.

Plus McMahon will probably use this to turn the NAO face since that seems to be what they really want in life. And he's elevating Too Cool recently with the heel turn. I hate McMahon, but he knows what he's doing.

btw, I like the purple.

mdb

I suppose so. I always see heels as being the big talkers though. Benoit and Malenko are not so hot, Saturn is passable. Eddy rules on the mic, I loved it when he would shout at Rey Mysterio Jr. and say "REY! YOU LITTLE TURD!" funny. Unfortunately for the purple, everyone else hated it so that's the end of that really.


  • I think most of us have been in that situation, telling a non-wrestling fan that you are an avid follower of pro wrestling. The chances are your 'admission' will be met by either references to Hulk Hogan, or that most irritating of statements "But its not real." I have always said that I knew, as if I'm so stupid that I wouldn't. What I want to say is "Really? So that's why the guy gets dropped repeatedly on the head but doesn't get a broken neck. SO that's why the Big Boss Man was still alive after he was hanged. OF COURSE ITS NOT FUCKING REAL!!". What's the big deal about it not being real? One has to wonder if these people will only watch films if they are based on a true story, or that they only ever watch documentaries. Why is it non-wrestling fans think that those of us who love wrestling are under the illusion that it's real? It gets worse, because it is very difficult to explain that despite the fact that the ending has been pre-determined, there is a lot of athletic ability and skill put into it. All they see it as a couple of guys in leotards pretending to hit each other. It is very difficult to explain to a non-fan the sheer impressive spectacle of a perfectly landed stardust press or a superbly hit powerbomb. They don't see that no matter how well trained the protagonists may be, it still hurts. Try to explain how close to death Mick Foley has come. They'll think you've just bought into the hype, that there's no way Foley could risk his life because its not real. Infuriating I'm sure you'll agree.

    Another problem is that most non-wrestling fans don't realise that we do know that wrestling, or more specifically the stories and some of the characters, are absolutely ridiculous. I know I don't take most of the story surrounding the actual matches seriously and I don't know of anyone who thinks otherwise. Yet if we like wrestling we are silly, especially if we aren't children. You see, most people think that the WWF, WCW etc are for the kiddies. That's why so many kids are watching the WWF, because the parents don't understand that its rated PG 13 for a reason. But anyway, people think we are dumb because we watch programming that the non-wrestling fan thinks is aimed at the young, which makes us look very uncool outside of our non-fan groups. You can be made to feel kind of ashamed, as if being a wrestling fan is socially unacceptable.

    Try and explain your love of wrestling to a non-fan. Tell them how easy it is to be caught up in the grandiose spectacle of it all. How your heart lurches when a wrestler kicks out just before the three count. How horrified/impressed you were when you saw Mick Foley dive off the top of the cage through the table. Just try and explain how you felt when you saw your favourite wrestler rise through the ranks and finally win some championship gold, the pride you felt. Try and tell a non-wrestling fan why you think Chris Jericho is hilarious. Explain why Ric Flair is the greatest. Explain why even though he has a dreadful gimmick, Kane is still great. Tell them you tune in every week to see it because you have to see what will happen next. Tell them you would pay far too much money just so you can go and see it all in person, the thrill as one of the wrestlers slaps your hand, your hand as he goes past. Tell them Foley is God, that Chris Jericho is a genius, that Ric Flair is a legend. See the detractor as he/she listens to what you say and, inspired by you passion and love for the sport, says those words.........

    "But it's not real."

    OH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.


  • It seems that approximately 68% of the visitors to WCW.com are morons. There was a poll, as part of the build up to the main event on Nitro, Hogan vs Flair. One of the questions was, "Who is the best wrestler ever?", the choices are Hogan and Flair. Hogan was ahead on 68%. I'll say that again, Hogan was ahead on 68%. Perhaps these are the same people who think Mark Madden is a good commentator. They probably complained CRZ doesn't transcribe The Rock's interviews too, despite they are always the same. It makes you lose a bit in faith in your fellow wrestling fan doesn't it?

  • Smackdown was excellent last week. The matches with the Radicals and Too Cool were all great. The Snow and Blackman segments continue to be hilarious, give Sho Funaki a bonus for his cameo. It was slightly disturbing seeing B.B. crying out "NOOOOO" before being put through the table by the 'sickening, disgusting, vile Dudleys'. They saved the best for last though, as Kane did the best thing ever by planting Tori with a Tombstone. Classic TV. That should be the WWF Slam of the Week. The look on X-Pac's face should be 'Horrified Look of the Week', brought to you by SUPER SOAKER. A personal message to Vince McMahon, Tori getting dropped on her head = ratings.

    By the way, I'm thinking I won't do any more versions of the Madden picture. Should I stop or carry on? Mail me and tell me what you think, even send suggestions! Its up to YOU, yes YOU!

    That's it for now folks. I'll probably see you sweet people next week when I will return with more Musings. In the mean time mail me at marvellous_martin@yahoo.com and talk to a lonely Brit. I guarantee a reply, either personally or through my column, unless I take a particular dislike to you. If you have anything really interesting to share, perhaps you'll provide inspiration for a future Musings, then you'd be FAMOUS!!!

    Thanks, and take care of yourself and your fellow man/woman. Remember, being nice can be difficult at times, but at least people won't call you unpleasant names behind your back like they do at the moment.

    Cheerio.

    Marvellous Martin
    [slash] wrestling

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