ORACLES UPDATE: The most revolutionary non-pornographic entity on the Internet had our first PPV. It rocked. Yours truly facing Shawn Colton for the title down the road--fake excitment!

Oh, yeah, www.delphi.com/wehearttrish & www.delphi.com/theoracleswar.

NEEDLE DROP: There's something deliciously ironic about listening to "I Disappear" on your Napster account. That new Jessica Simpson song is just wrong, wrong, WRONG---hell, I'm black and I know you shouldn't sample "Jack and Diane". I tell ya, if it wasn't for the Chili Peppers....

So, guess what MY big surprise is after two weeks? I give up on WCW. I bitch and complain about the same exact shit every week--Kidman, Booker T, blah blah blah. My little brother saw Goldberg turning and he's a damn ECW mark AND HE'S 12. So, it's over. Buh-bye snootchie bootchies. As a result of this and encouragment from certain Oracles to get more in-depth with my shiznit, the Listo will be now pared down to 10 or 8 or whatever it is you kids who tune into SLASH IS ROSSER want. Well, the CORE RESPOND DANCE is up to five---hope springs eternal:

Jerry puts his Root down on the ECWCW: I love it! Along with Gertner snuffing Madden, do you think we could have NuJack do a "Mass Transit" job on Russo? Perhaps have Bischoff and Heyman get into a real Deathmatch(ala MTV's Celebrity Deathmatch)? Now that I'd pay to watch. Especially if Bischoff ends up doing the job! hehehe. Keep up the great work. So, how close did you get this week? -->Personally, I'd just bring back the 6-man tag and let RVD and Kronic make a run on it.

Dale Blasingame (uh) is not only a pimp and an Oracle, but he's that damn cool: I noticed your last line and had to tell you my Chris Connelly story from this past year... I was at a radio and television conference in Charlotte, and was thoroughly hammered at a CNN party. When walking to the pisser, I pass by none other than MTV's Chris Connelly standing all by himself with a "why doesn't anyone recognize me?" look on his face. So I made his day and did the "aren't you..." kinda pose towards him. He started shaking his head and I was crossing my legs because I had to piss so bad...but anyway. I talked to him for a while then relieved myself (not on him, in the bathroom). I went back to our group and explained my trek to the toilet, and we all decided to go bug Chris. So I grab my 18th and 19th drinks, respectfully, and walked over to Connelly again...when I went on a rampage about how I wanted to kill Carson Fucking Daly. Mind you, this was the day after him and Love broke up... So anyway, Chris was all "I think they broke up" and I was all "I don't give a shit, I still want to kick his ass" and then I was all "you know what, I think he needs to get his ass kicked even harder for fucking that relationship up" and he was all "you're prolly right."

Whew. Anyway, I got a funny looking picture of me with him and my two drinks (which I think were #20 and #21 by that time). I'll have to share it with ya sometime. I also got a cool pic of me with the cops later that night. Luckily, they were drunk also. Ain't life a sweet bitch sometimes? --> You see how quick that bitch left MY town, didn't ya? I tell you, you really want to make me a happier writer, let me get in ONE shot with a baseball bat. Just one.

At this point I have two other letters about something else (voice of Paul Heyman) THE STORY ABOUT RIC FLAIR THAT THE CRZ NETWORK DOESN'T WANT YOU TO SEE! E-MAIL @ butchman79@hotmail.com TO GET THE COMPLETE BEHIND THE SCENES STORY. And CRZ, I bet you're really wishing what I wrote comes true now, huh? (I guess I wasn't paying attention - I have NO IDEA what you're talking about. - CRZ)

Tanvir will be playing the role of Shawn Colton: Sup Butch. Decided to take last week off because SLASH IS ROSSER, not SLASH IS RAQUIB. As a fellow Oracle, I'd like to let the reading audience that you are only showing about a tenth of your kickass humor in your Word. Any of you reading this who want to see the REALLY FUNNY BUTCH should email his ass right now and let him know that you want MORE ROSSER and LESS ANNOYING LETTERS FROM ORACLES AND FANS LIKE MYSELF.

15) **HEAD CHEESE v. PRISON GUARDS IN 7TH SEGMENT**
I agree wholeheartedly. I actually think I DID take a bathroom break during this match...or I was watching the Knicks. Either way, I gave this match a minute and it bored the SHIT out of me.

14) **BRISCO'S STILL HARDCORE?**
Why don't they just retire the belt already?!

Got this comment that JR said off his Ross Report: "We could see Gerald Brisco defend the Hardcore Title at the King of the Ring ... that is if the Oklahoma native is still wearing the most tarnished gold in the WWF. Could be a riot!"

JR can go to hell. Or better yet, he could go to wCw.

Let's run through some of this Listo Del Fuego.

13) **TANAKA/MAHONEY**
Didn't see the match. It's ECW, damnit.

12) **HOT POTATO IN ATLANTA**
Jarrett made such a WONDERFUL decision coming back to wCw. Feel the credibility~!

11) **CRASH & THE ACOLYTES**
I like squashes. As long as *I'm* not the one getting powerbombed. That's gotta hurt.

09) **MAJOR GUNS**
I like! I like! The smaller the outfit, the harder....err....:P

08) **GOLDBERG. AND THERE WAS MUCH REJOICING.**
What was the rating again for that QH? I know he was only in 3 minutes, but c'mon...

06) **DAVID FLAIR IS THE SMARTEST MAN ALIVE!**
Beating up your talented half brother has got to be the shit.

05) **TAMMY STAYING WITHIN THE WHITE LINES**
I miss Dana Plato, the innocent girl from Diff'rent Strokes. Could Tammy be next? Let's wait 10 years for the "E! hollyword Story of Tammy Sytch". If she's a crack addict, then let's hope she leaves the business for a new life - in a rehab clinic.

04) **DRENCHED IN CONTINUITY**
"Bitch!"

03) **ECWCW?**
Gertner blows, Butch. Hudson and Styles on the PBP. Now THAT wouldn't be so bad.

02) **/JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!**
We gotta love him: he saved a kid's life, remember!

01) **ANGLE ON THE STICK**
Angle is THE MAN. Fuck these HHH comparisons to Flair. Angle's got more wrestling ability and he doesn't have to try as hard to get over.

That's 'bout it 'bout it for me.
--> Which means it's time for me to get rowdy rowdy with dat LISTO!

10) **THIS WEEK IS SHAFT!**
Damnit, this better friggin' own. I don't care if they remake Shakepeare crap or some English garbage, but this is a damned CLASSIC.

09) **#1 CONTENDER LITA**
Hmph. Come on, do both Steffi Baby and Flair2K need a belt? A piece of gold doth not necessarily a slut make.

08) **SUNDAY NIGHT LATINO HEAT!**
There are great hours on television. "SportsCenter". "X-Files". They keep bringing me competitive cool matches like this, I might forget about the awesomeness that is "Iron Chef".

07) **VINCE TAKES THEM BUMPS**
The cool thing about being stupid rich is that you can do nutty-ass things like that but since you have bling bling you merely get called "eccentric".

06) **KotR SWEET 16**
Kurt's going to win and get some lovin' from Steffi! It's TRUE! It's damn true. Seriously, the prospects of matches have got me looking forward to the tournament far more than the main event. Brackets any day now though, so I can start up an Oracle pool.

05) **WHITHER JERRY LYNN?**
Mandatory Jerry Lynn plug. That is all.

04) **CRASH IS HARDCORE!**
It's nice to see the little guy back with the belt. He just amuses me greatly. Now then, I think we all now you-know-who is coming on the Smack!Down Thursday, so there's only one thing to do: let Richard Roundtree have a reign, if only for a second. Have the theme from Shaft play throughout. Any excuse to hear that song.

03) **RIKISHI FLIES!**
That was 31 flavors of cool. Another cool possible set-up match for KotR. It's the little things that kill, and it's the little things that hold the glue together.

02) **BIG CRIPPLER THE HARDY KILLER**
Now THAT is a man who enjoys his work. Hell, if I got to kick pretty boys' asses all the time, I would too. (Apologies to Rebecca and Sharon so they don't send a squadron of angry women to my house)

01) **ANOTHER FIRST-TIME WORLD TITLE SHOT FOR JERICHO**
And quoting the great Homer J directly: How can one insulated wire bring so much happiness?

Props to the new kid writing "The Column" for best [slash] name and the free plug. Well, the JLH chat is in a little while, so I have to change into my good clothes and splash on some cologne. Anyway, more from North Tijuana as events warrant it.

And Vince Russo, you can go straight to hell. Straight to (censored) hell.