It's really the strangest thing. It's 0115 and I SHOULD be getting some sleep, but weeks of conditioning have led me to expect to be writing a Thunder report right now, and I CAN'T sleep.

As if that weren't bad enough...now I'm ALSO having some strange cravings.

For instance...

I REALLY want a warm slice of pumpkin pie with a melting spoonful of Cool Whip on top. Why? Who can say? Just... for some reason, that sounds REALLY good right now.

But I ain't leaving this apartment just to make THAT dream come true. Not this time of night, not in this outfit, and not for that many calories I don't really need.

It DOES get me thinking, though.

I've talked before about how I'm directly across the street from a 7-Eleven. I'm going to talk about it again, so take this as your warning and hit the BACK button right now.

In addition to providing enough ambient light to illuminate a small football field, 24 hours a day...making my apartment complex seem positively burglary-proof, this situation also allows for the "convenience" of Slurpees on demand. ANY time I want a Slurpee, I can just traipse across the street and have my choice of four flavours - cherry, cola, and whatever's rotated in. Lately, it's been Barq's French Vanilla Creme (you must try it) and Citra (I've not been daring enough to try it).

You'd THINK that this would be, like, the GREATEST deal ever. Slurpee! Want a Slurpee? Slurpee! It's right THERE, MAN, just go over and GET it. No need to drive - slip on the Birkenstocks, fish $1.18 out of the change jar, hell, leave the front door open, it's only across the street and back. Slurpee! Forty-four ounces of brain freeze (with special straw), you got it, baby!

But...

But there's a *problem* with being able to indulge in a Slurpee habit so easily, on a whim, EVERY time you feel like it.

Can you figure it out?

The PROBLEM is... after a while, the Slurpee just doesn't seem as special as it did when you only got them because you happened to be driving around the right neighbourhood at a time coinciding with the thought that "wow! I haven't had a Slurpee in a while!" Sometimes, even, you *wanted* the Slurpee, but that was it - it ended there, 'cause you couldn't GET one.

It sure seems like lately I've just been taking that Slurpee for granted. Hell, lately I haven't even WANTED one. It's right there, right across the street, but there's no DESIRE there for me.

And sometimes, I've actually walked into the 7-Eleven...and walked out with a bag of chips and a lottery ticket - *and nothing else.* That's really kinda sad. Fortunately, I haven't gotten ILL at the sight of a Slurpee...well, yet.

The thing is, I still LIKE having a Slurpee now and again...but back when I first moved here...man, I used to think I could go for that EVERY day, and hot damn, wouldn't that be the *greatest?* Now that I'm older and wiser, I know that that's not a sustainable feeling. And perhaps, an even SADDER truth is that the principle seems to extend to practically ANYTHING you "love." Unfettered access to a favourite, unless you have the ability to muster the courage to control, to discipline, to TEMPER your reaction to HAVING that kind of access...well, eventually the day comes when you look around and realise that it isn't really even one of your favourite things anymore.

Fortunately, though, I've started to feel lately that this isn't a one-way street I'm on. It's all a matter of perspective. Of moderation. I'm confident that I have the ability to work this through, and that once again, I can feel about the *mighty* Slurpee the way that I have in the past...even in the face of being surrounded by them.

CRZ