Needless to say, I got more mail this week than I have in quite a long time. Fortunately, it was split into hate mail and kudos. Here's 160 or so examples...grab a drink, we'll be here a while.

Hey CRZ,

This is Jim Gramze, the picture guy.

I just had a MAJOR hard-disk crash.  Nothing backed up.  My mac is no more.  I'm finally going to the other side, becoming a lemming, and getting a Dell PC.  The delivery date for the machine is Nov 29.  Then I have to get set back up with whatever I will need to do what I used to do.  Don't have any idea how long it will take.

In the meantime, that means no pics from me, certainly until AT LEAST early December.  Believe me, this hurts me a lot more than it hurts you.

I'm changing platforms because I'm sick and tired of my Macs eating hard drives.  15 years of this is enough.  Now I can discover all the wonderful fucked-up problems of owning a PC.  And all the benefits as well, since the world revolves around the PC.

I'll be in touch once I get set back up.
 
GOD DOES THIS SUCK!!!!!!!!,

Jim

I know he gets a little thank you on every page, but I want to give Jim a big public thank you for the pictures he's sent me for the site. But oh, man, a *PC*?!?

The main event switch didn't surprise me too much, Survivor Series has now developed the reputation as Surpriser Series.

My rant in this e-mail has to do with the quality of the female wrestlers. I don't want to come across as misogynistic like Double-J, but I'm calling it like I see it. All of the men weren't great last night, but at least in Stasiak vs. Angle and the Hollys/Hardys et. al match, the moves came off (relatively) cleanly, and it was credible as an athletic contest.

As for the IC bout, I don't know how to put it nicer than to say Chyna should *not* be wrestling against men. I know she has worked hard to 'prove' herself in competition with the guys, but honestly, where would her wrestling talent get her if there was no booking? (the same may be said of many male 'wrestlers', too, but that's another rant)

In the "No Mercy" match against JJ, the implements masked the lack of mat skills. Last night, I was embarassed for her and for Chris at having to sell her appalling moves:

1. She pulled at least a half dozen each of punches and kicks so much that it was painful to watch Jericho react as required.
2. The fact that she did not submit to the Walls of Jericho was another blow, since he so obviously did *not* lock it in (caption accompanying your story notwithstanding - he was standing up! I don't expect it to be locked like Hart's sharpshooter on Austin in their 'I Quit' match, but Jericho had to sit at least a bit!). This: (a) diminishes the legitimate use of his finishing move in the future, and (b) obviously showed that Chyna needs different treatment because she is a female, and is not on a par with the male competition. Her strength got her out of that - whatever, JR!
3. Finally, the top rope Pedigree was awful - she bailed on it mid-air, and Chris was left to fall face first into the mat by himself - hmmm...the point of a Pedigree is that the arm lock prevents the victim from breaking their fall with their hands...

Chyna's performance, combined with the atrocious women's free-for-all, makes me wonder where the female *athletes* are. The T&A can work for a valet, and Chyna's body is impressive for a bodyguard providing the occasional run-in 'down below', but the athleticism and the timing are all off. Are there any 6-foot, 180 lbs female gymnasts out there??? When the WWF has to haul the seniors in (don't get me wrong, Mae Young can take a bump - she's taken several in the past few weeks, but where is a 20-something Mae 'truly young'?), it's a sad testament to women's wrestling.

David Roy

I'll be back to the happy land of RSPWM soon, things have been weird and busy for me lately.

I actually haven't been catching most of the wrestling these last few weeks (and with The Powers that Be (Benoit vs. Medusa?) and McMahon being McMahon I think maybe it's a gopod thing) so your reports have been keeping me informed. Thanks for the hard work and dedication. You the man!

mdb

I *miss* mdb - that WCW apologist rat bastard

Hey Chris,

your Survivor Series page is mislabeled "Summerslam Results" ..........up at the top of the page ....HAHA what a goober you are.

Mr. T

I KNOW you are - but what am I?

My name is Dail Cantrell, and I represent Harry Fujiwara (Mr. Fuji) in a lawsuit against Nintendo. The gaming giant is using Harry's charachter in a game called "WCW vs NWO" and is trying to claim that he is a fictional charachter to avoid paying him any royalities.

Harry is down on his luck, and almost crippled after multiple knee injuries.

I need help in obtaining as much info about Harry's career as possible. I need old magazines and video of Harry to show a jury that not only is Mr. Fuji a real person, but was a major performer.

Any help would be much appreciated.

Please send whatever you can to:
Dail Cantrell
P.O. Box 299
Clinton, TN 37717-0299

(423) 457-9100

Please help!!!!

Dail

Dude I'm betting that the Bulldog is going to win the title tonight on Raw

Later

Chris Gaughan

Well I was wrong about Bulldog :-(

Chris Gaughan

Why are you writing me when the show's on, anywy?

Now I know you do the recap of WWF (even though I feel that you are always extremely negative) but I was wondering did you notice when McMahon came in to commentate the HHH v. Kane match that his entrance video had him and Shane with the frown faces they used to have when they were heel. Did you notice that and if so what do you make of that?

Cocoapuffs72

I admit I totally missed this...we'll have to keep a closer look - they MAY be dropping some hints!

Chris, I *know* the WWF reads your column so I'd like to commandeer it for a second. So if you'll let be butt in, I would like to be the *first* to announce a challenge to Arnold Schwarzenegger's WWF Box Office Heavyweight Championship Title. Yeah, I'm no household name, but I've in a few of my parents' home movies, and recently I charged some friends to watch them at my house. I made about $6 and it was *all profit*, and I think that makes me an *excellent* number one contender in the prestigious Box Office Division of the World Wrestling Federation. If wrestling fans out there can support me, I *know* I can take the Box Office Division to the top. We *can not* let the credibility of this celebrated championship title be tarnished by letting it become another one-man claim like the WWF Lightheavyweight Championship. And Chris, my man, if I beat Arnie for that belt-- no, *when* I beat Arnie for that belt... I'll give you a title shot, baby.

Joel Poirier
"135 Pounds of Twisted Steel and Sex Appeal"

Ummm...glad to help?

Hey CRZ --

"Deep in my 'Hart' . . .knew something would happen at the Survivor Series." -- Vince McMahon

Talk about funny. Raw was awesome this week no doubt. Much better than the ppv, I'm embarassed to say.

Police investigate for Attempted Vehicular Homicide . . .hmmm, sounds lame but lets give it a chance.

First big thing of the night -- Chyna/Jerico # 1 -- I could not stop laughing. I honestly didn't think Chyna had that much acting talent. That skit was very well written and performed by all, espically Jerico.

Second, maybe I'm a little nuts for noticing this but everyttime the Bulldog comes to the ring, it looks like he pissed his pants. Too gross.

Third, the Rock's "interrigation" by the police. Classic Rock interview and again, quite fun.

Fourth, I don't know why, but for some reason I knew the King would drop J.R.'s name to the police . . I'm giggling as I'm writing this . . .maybe this police angle isn't that lame after all.

BTW -- this just off the cuff, but explain to me again why the daughter of a multi-millionare want to get hitched inside a ring on national tv? I know, the story, but man, this one stinks worse than Mr. Rocko.

Anyways, back to my ideas/opinions which I know you just live for . .j/k :)

Let's see, Chyna's tied to a chair, in the dark, by tape . . gee, too scary for me . . .wow, standing over her with a hammer is Jerico . . .right, he's not going to hit her . . . ok, now he's "hitting" her hand and she's yelling . . . AND the place is "crawling" with police . . .yup, this angle is really ummm, well, stupid. Can't they have one night without such nonsense?

Anyways, at least seeing HHH/McMahon go at it in the ring was fun . .and I absolutely loved the Rock's new edge . .great stuff.

Well, gotta run and catch the replay of Austin's Bio on A&E . . .already got an email that said Austin announced that he was engaged to Debra and was going to marry her soon. This should be good. Until later, friend . . .

Best Wishes . .
Regina Ellis

Concerning the Survivor Series: I think Treble H should lay off the tanning cream, or at least use a color that looks semi-normal. We thought that he looked orange enough to be a stand-in for Clyde from "Every Which Way But Loose." His color did seem much better on Raw, so it probably just needed time to fade in.

Nitro continuity: Why, if Tony is going to keep saying that a match is anything goes, does the ref signal for the bell when Goldberg hits the ring in the main event? Scott Hall comes in and the ref does nothing. Tony says "this match is anything goes." Goldberg comes in to get a piece of the Outsiders and they decide that that's not a part of "anything goes?" When they can't even get the simple things right, it really tends to piss you off!

jmeyers

No way, can't BE! You're talking about WCW here!

CRZ, love your reviews, I am thinking the same thing regarding the Rock, I wrote this on RSPW, but did you notice the eye rake by the Rock at SS? I couldn't believe he did that, I haven't seen that since his heel days. I keep thinking that they want all these heels so Stone Cold can go up against them as the big face.

Steve

Just a casual observation.

When Russo was talking to the Harris twins last night about "Saving their Career's... Remember Jacob and Eli Blu? Remember DOA? Get out of my site..etc...

Didn't Russo create their gimmicks in the WWF? At least the DOA one...

Take it easy

Best Regards
Joe Dorn

WOW! Man, I'm glad you *finally* tore ass on WCW! I mean, this is not a case of you being a biased recapper, this is a case of WCW flat out sucking. I personally used to watch WCW more because of their superior wrestling, but now, to hell with them. The Benoit match was solid, but the rest of the show sucked. I loved your "If you don't like wrestling, why'd you join a wrestling company" line. It was classic, and it was dead on accurate.

Chris, seriously, the JR angle, when I first saw them walk to the ring, I chuckled. Then, I thought "Shit, they're going to do that lame JR impression skit again". I was sadly correct. Excuse me, but wasn't that Eat Fatfella on television? He did the JR impression on Heat didn't he??? It's just so very not funny on so many levels to mock a man's physical disability. It wasn't funny when they were in The WWF, it's not funny now. Hopefully, Vzzzz Rzzzzzz and Eat Fatfella will be fired sooner than later.

Also, Mr. Zimmerman, will you please respond to this:

Why is it that everyone fawns over Rzzzzz's creative genius? Does it really take a brilliant mind to figure that if you put a gorgeous woman on television while she is wearing very little clothing, that men will watch?

Thanks for reading this long email, but more importantly, thank you for getting inspired to really rip into that crap they are calling Nitro now.

Bethebunny

That was indeed Ed Ferrara - I guess only Russo promised he wouldn't be on screen? (Hey, that was a stunt arm, right? Russo wouldn't LIE to us!)

Hello CRZ,
Just read your report. Man youre PISSED! Its only entertainment brother. Im sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that WWF would do the exact same thing (they have) if they were fighting an uphill battle to regain the top spot. I know youre biased and all, but hey, its only a TV show my friend. Have a beer and a smile and enjoy yourself! Im afraid youre gonna have a heart attack or something the way you were going off there in that report. Just looking out for ya!

Take care,

Lord Meph =)

I have a question. I have sought the answer for a long time. When the WWF was being investigated for sexual harassment, who were the two parties? One was an announcer and the other was a "ring boy", I've never actually heard who they were though...

ELIASVICT

Hmmm...I think Mel Philips was one...oh, wait, this is in the RSPW FAQ:

3.3. Were there charges of sexual harassment filed
against the WWF in 1992?

No. In 1992, former ring-boy Tom Cole, former referee
Rita Chatterson and former TV announcer Murray Hodgekins
came forth with allegations of sexual abuse by WWF
employees. The group made the talk-show circuit, but
never filed legal charges. Specifically named employees
included booker Pat Patterson, ring attendant Mel
Phillips, booker Terry Garvin and Vince McMahon
himself. Patterson, Phillips and Garvin were dismissed
by the WWF as a result of the allegations. Patterson
subsequently returned to his position.  

Pat Patterson's sexual preference is a well-known and
generally accepted fact of the business, however, and
ugly rumors about trading a push for sexual favors have
been started by more than one ex-WWF wrestler, but there
is to date no actual evidence of such.

WCW:
borderline-racism#1 - Luchador Piņata Match!?!?! Lodi and Lenny are gone for portraying a fey couple (not negatively, I might add) and the mexicans get a piņata match. Where are the protests for that? Maybe next week they could have a "wetback match" where one luchador has to douse the other with water to win. (Harlem Street fight matches are borderline, too. I don't think I've seen a white dude in one.)

The Jim Ross thing SHOWED ZERO CLASS. If he didn't speak, It might have been passable.

Dr. Death killed a luchador (el dandy?) with a suplex - el dandy landed FACE AND NECK FIRST. I wonder how long it will be till he actually paralyzes someone (Dr. Death, not El Dandy, obviously)?

Jim Duggan looks genuinely (no sarcasm) enthusiastic about his new role. Must have some bills to pay.

WWF

sign in crowd : My sister has herpes, give me the title belt..... funny

Jericho needs to out of this angle. His promo ate. I'm sure he didn't help with the story line and was told what to say to Chyna in the "darkened room". Let him write his own stuff - get back to what he used to do, as opposed to giving that angle to the Bossman, because Bossman eats shit. (Am I the first to notice this - Bossman doing what Jericho used to do in WCW - picking an opponent and demoralizing them and their family and their friends, etc.?) Jericho is better than that, and is damn-well too good to be in an angle with a novelty wrestler like Chyna (yes, a novelty). Get other big women for Chyna to fight - they are out there - make a super-heavyweight women's division. I'm all for equality, but it never is equal is it? If you want equality then be completely equal. HHH angry at Jericho because Chyna took some stiff shots, maybe a black eye? Tough shit, if she wants to compete with men, take it "like a man" and leave your boyfriend out of it. Chyna is wearing off.

I hate X-Pac. He is a piece of shit. So he's a good wrestler, but his stick-work is for shit. I hate Roadddddogggg. He is a piece of shit. Hey Road Douche, ever seen one of these places? No? It's a gym, you flabby bitch. Go in one and don't come back till you're not embarrassed to be shirtless. No, I'm not gay, but non-Foley sized dudes should be in shape if they're being paid big bucks to be on tv and fighting. Supermodels should be hot and wrestlers should be muscular. Fat guys have cred because of their size (i.e. an immovable object)it's part of their angle usually; have you ever run into a fatty in a mosh pit? I rest my case. Road Dog looks like my diminutive ass could take him.

Acolytes should get a different name if they're going to be shit-kicking and disturbin' hoosiers and boozers.

Austin is gone? Good. Fuck him. He is a piece of shit. And he's getting fat. And old.

Rock's catchphrase about anal penetration should be retired. Not that it's not funny from time to time, but it's way overused. The sing along stuff is fine - it gives the in-house fans something to do between beating their wives and drinking beer.

The Dudley's catchphrase is painfully bad. Save it for ECW. Think of something else. (though they weren't on Raw)

Kane is starting to wear thin, too (at least mired as he is in the midcards).

Kurt Angle booed by hometown crowd. I am from the "Burgh, and I am DEAD SURE that it truly hurt just a little. Lotta pride in that city, I tell ya. Haven't live there in years and the ripping of the Steelers made ME wince just a bit.

Jim Dotson is really big. He should wrestle. He has a built in angle. He'd get more money. Sometimes humble people make me sick.

If Big Show choke-slams Bossman a couple-hundred times, will it make things "better" (kayfabe here)?? What is he going to do, kill him? Drop the angle. And give someone with actual mic skills the belt, and by that I don't mean HHH. Big-Show- He's a face, he's a heel, he's a face, he's a heel, he's worthless. He's too big. It's not credible that he sell for ANYONE in the fed right now. Unbeatable doesn't mean good. It means boring.

Al snow has Head back. Good.

Venis needs his old angle back

Godfather is played out - bring back Papa Shango.

Test and Stephanie - end it. Unless you get married for real, spare us the waiting for the inevitable conclusion.

Ok. Enough. Sorry about the length of this.

Craig Wagner

Hey Craig, did you ever think about becoming a columnist?

CRZ:

Dude, you failed to mention the sweetest sign of the night!

It was a rip on the Big Show/Cancer angle and was visible, I believe, as Show came out.

It read: "My sister has herpes...give ME the title!"

LOL

Craig Hansen

I mean, who the hell does wCw think they are, making fun of a man with Bell's Palsy. I mean, let's forget the fact that Jim Ross himself introduced this into part of a wrestling angle for his own benefit, that doesn't give wCw the right to do the same thing. I mean, Heaven forbid, WWF would never stoop to these kinds of lows, you'd never see them do something like bring out a midget dressed like Bret Hart the night after they screwed him for real and degrade both Hart and the midget who played him. You're absolutely right; wCw should be ashamed for making fun of 'Good 'Ole JR', even though 'Good 'Ole JR' takes it upon himself to make fun of wCw at every turn. Chris, you're starting to sound more and more like the rest of the WWF schills, including Rick Scaia, who didn't even have the balls to give Survivor Series a bad review even though it was obviously the worst WWF pay-per-view of the year (just how much are they paying him?). I love your recaps, but come on, you've got to learn to call a spade a spade.

Anyway, that's just the thoughts of a rambling man who's bored at work,

JimmyG.

A midget dressed like Bret Hart? Geez, could you find an OLDER example, Jimmy?

The best updates as always. To the Pack: This is depressing and I do not see a lot of change down the road, especially when you cant stop the run.

Tom Pendowski

Sigh - you're right.

Doesn't it seem a little funny that six months ago, everybody was blasting WCW for the "who drove the hummer" angle, and here the wwf is recycling it for its fans who are eating it up? (who did drive the hummer?)

Sean Kiley

Who exactly is eating it up now?

I was at raw last night and everyone around me was like "who do you think was driving?" I kept telling everybody that it was a guy named Steve Borden but nobody got my joke

Sean Kiley

Ahhh. That's strange....or is it? Who can say anymore?

Dude -- just for the record, the only cool things about Monday night's show (I attended) were getting to talk to Mr. Bob Backlund and .... and.... well, that's about it... I did haowever notice the Russian leg sweep gaining a promoinence it has not enjoyed since Brad Armstrong's original stab a glory. Seeing Edge job to GrandmastaSexy? A 15 sec. match with the new champ? Rock v. Bossman as a main event. It just sucked.

Ron
M,28, Pittsburgh

Im glad im not the only one that thought that Nitro was appalling this past monday. The JR thing was hanious, absolutely disgusting. I thought it was funny when tony shivfucky called berlyn alex, then said it was ok to call him that cause zibisko did on thunder. that fuck shivfucky, who the hell does he think he is talking about internet marks, thats piece of trash is lucky he isn't the manager at some fucking burgerking right now. And is sid a face or a heel, wtf lets confuse the viewers just a bit more, he gets faces pops then attacks Goldberg. **sigh** I take pitty on you chris for doing this week in and week out. God bless

Ozz

When HHH started talking I tried keeping count of the trailing "uhs". I gave up after 8uhs in less than 2 minutes. It really detracts from his improving mike work because I try to listen to his line and I keep hearing "all a load of crap-uh*".

Remember when Kane was a nearly invinceable monster? Now he gets punked out by two guys.

Arthur Kimes

The way I see it, Test probably hit Austin with the car. He figured, "Hey, Vince really hated this guy and I'm gonna help out the new family by doing this right?" Vince, in an easily foreseeable heel turn, agrees and says that Test is a swell guy for running his archnemesis down. Stephanie is, of course, mortified beyond belief. She dumps Test. Or something.

Ryan Lambert
P.S. The plates were from Connecticut (WWF's own ambulance?)

Really? I'm almost positive I made out a MICHIGAN on the plate...

Chris,

Here's my theory on the driver of the car that wiped out Austin. Since Billy Gunn is too obvious, I think they'll put another swerve on us. What about having the Big Show as the driver at the orders of Vince McMahon? That way, McMahon can keep his Survivor Series screw job streak alive plus it gives us a reason why Big Show was added to the main event. Then they can bring up the fact that Vince McMahon first brought the Big Show to the WWF as his henchman to get rid of Austin.

Keep up the great work.

Fast Eddie

I'm the first guy to harp about Ross' sharp decline in quality but that isn't the same as dressing up a guy to fake Bells Palsy symptoms - that's GOT to be over Bob Ryder's "line," if he EVEN had a spine anymore...

Having read Bob's amused reaction and comparing it to Gillberg, it is quite obvious that for Bob the line begins at the bank where he cashes his WCW check, and ends at the border of logical thought. Thank you for being indignant enough to vicariously let me vent my own annoyance via your recap.

Sean Flynn

Man oh man. You really HATED Nitro. I have friends that don't like Nitro. Hell a month ago just about NOBODY liked Nitro, but you were pretty adamant. That's cool ya know, cause I like to see people stand up for their opinions, and not be biased. At the same time I thought Nitro was an enjoyable show last night. It was at least interesting. Definitely funny, and they are building some really good things. Much as you might dislike it, I find the powers that be to be fairly funny. Russo that is :). A lot of these wrestlers were floating around without angles, and now they have one. Besides this boss is pretty sarcastic, and it makes me laugh.

The wrestling was PRETTY good, not great. Overall I think the show is STILL getting better. Yes they are making fun of the WWF probably too much. I think they will stop eventually when they see that those skits DO NOT do well, but as for now the loser always strikes at the winner, just as the WWF did, and realized that it didn't work, and just as the WCW is doing and will realize.

Anyway just some thoughts.

Thanks for your time, Jared

The wrestling? The Benoit/Hall match was great. That was it for matches on Nitro. Three hours and one good match. Geez, cut one match and one hour and you might as well go ahead and CALL it RAW! Trouble is...I already watch RAW. I don't need to do it twice!

My friends and I have a theory about your current state. We think maybe the fact that Nitro is actually entertaining, consistent, pushing young talent,and doing things that will ACTUALLY MAKE THEM COMPETITIVE AGAIN while RAW is trying to turn the Rock heel (you said it in YOUR OWN WORDS MAN) and giving the Big Bossman and PRINCE ALBERT main events pushes has made you snap. The way you reported Nitro was the scariest thing I've ever read. The way you reported Raw (after reading Nitro's report) was even scarier! You practically shit over WCW like the Nazi party for not giving you enough wrestling (you almost NEVER do this with RAW...or if you do you never give "fuck the wwf" like you do after practically EVERY WCW MATCH!). BTW: Even when there is a good long match (Benoit beating hall in ALMOST TEN MINUTES ring a bell!) You seem to be indifferent! You shit on WCW and Russo for mocking Ross.....but I clearly remember you almost not caring when the WWF did the same with Gillberg. That's besides my main points though, you came off as a huge hypocrite tonight and it's obvious you won't like WCW no matter what they do! (It's also becoming obvious that you WILL LIKE RAW no matter what they do.) They practically tried to purposely ruin both Jericho AND The Rock tonight (the two most over things they will have in the future if AUstin is out for good, or atleast a long period of time) and you seem indifferent..and almost excited. (Again, no "fuck the wwf") The thing that bothers me the most though is that RAW has just as much, and sometimes even LESS wrestling than Nitro does and you don't seem to shit all over them. WCW is TRYING TO BE COMPETITIVE! If you wanna blame someone for making the fans love 3 minute brawls, blame the WWF! Don't blame WCW for trying to compete. Eddy Guerrero, Kidman, Benoit,all the young guys are getting pushes now...almost ALL THE STUFF you yourself im sure wished WCW would do afew months ago (Personally, ID MUCH rather have faith that a company was giving it a fighting chance than having a company put on 12 minute juvy/kidman matches followed by 15 minute horace/barbarian matches),they are finally doing....and now you shit on them MORE. I just say STOP REPORTING NITRO! You obviously despise doing it!

LHSabu

WHY DO YOUR REPORTS SUCK SO MUCH.YOUR ALWAYS BITCHING ABOUT HOW BAD WCW SUCKS BUT YOU STILL WATCH IT EVERY WEEK.THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU BECAUSE U KEEP SAYING THIS SUCKS THAT SUCKS,I THINK U FUCKING SUCK.LIKE U COULD DO A BETTER JOB WRITING FOR WCW

David Mancha

Well when the hell did I say THAT?

Hey man, I just wanted to know why you are so down on WCW?? Every week you bash Nitro like it's the worst show on Monday nights. I know that Nitro has sucked pretty bad in the past, but you have to give them some credit here lately. I think the show is starting to improve some and they are getting some good storylines in there. WWF has been known to have some things on RAW that is just as stupid as some of WCW's skits. If you hate the damn show so much and if you are going to talk shit about it, stop watching the fuckin show. DICK!!!!

DGAUser

I KNOW you are but what am I?

I don't know how you became so biased in favor of the WWF but it's turned into a sickening display. Nitro was a MUCH better show than you rambled on about for two pages. It's not so much that you don't like the show that's annoying, it's that you ignore the same things that take place on Raw. Why is that? Actually, I answered that in my first sentence. Take a deep breath and open your mind. Nitro has turned into a watchable show again and you need to lighten up for God's sake.

Matt

Chris,

I've read your reports for a long time now. I'd have to say that was the poorest excuse for a recap I have ever seen. You bash WCW the ENTIRE TIME. You don't even recap the matches! Well, its really unfortunate because I used to love your stuff but...if you're just gonna write a biased editorial and call it a recap then its not worth my time.

L8r,
Shane Robb

You were 100% dead on concerning the fake Jim Ross on Nitro. Thank you for not recapping the ridiculously insulting commentary. And you gotta know - you just have to - that the fake JR is going to be named "RJ" or something similar. Anyway, keep recapping it - because I'm sure as hell not gonna watch anymore.

Thank you
BRAD ROHRER

Thank's for the bullshit tirade which cements you into forever being a wwf bitch, er mark.

Robert P. Lang Jr.

Now, WHY do people consider "mark" an insult, anyway?

Dude,

I totally have to say that the Jim Ross parody was prety tasteless. The guy even had his one eye shut to emulate Ross's affliction. That scene made me uncomfortable and while I havn't minded wcw taking shots at wwf (wwf is just as guilty) that was pretty low. Now I gotta question for you CRZ. What wrestling program do you enjoy? ECW? Because judging by your weekly reports it's neither wcw or wwf. It a shame you have to suffer through these two shows and can't write about something you enjoy. So do you get paid for you columns? I don't care how much or anything a yes or no would be fine. I asked Scott Keith (who is more jaded than you are) via e-mail the same question and he freaked. All in all I enjoy you columns as you are witty and pretty funny but you never have a good thing to say about either show as a whole so whats you thing. Japan? Luche Libre? ECW?

Thanks for listning

Scott Kerr
Texas

I LOVE lucha, but I don't get it right now, unfortunately. AT&T won't give me Galavision!!

Hey, both shows DO kinda suck right now - you gotta admit that! Don't you?

I guess if Scott's going to evade the pay question, I'll do it too. Solidarity!

What must life be like for you? Hmmm... Do you ever enjoy ANYTHING??? You suck!

Kelly Remple

I really REALLY enjoy masturbating. In fact...stay there, I'll be back in a minute

chris

Do you harbor some kind of deep resentment towards WCW or something? Has Ted Turner ever slapped you in the face? The same stuff they put on last night is the stuff that has been going on in the WWF. Actually--I thought they put on a BETTER show than the WWF last night. Oh, the JR imitation is just horrible, huh?...I mean, if there was a Tony Schiavone imitation over on USA it would have been the damn funniest thing you've ever seen!--but if its good ol JR you WWF marks act like WCW fucking MURDERED somebody! I'm tired of this double standard shit where EVERY FUCKING THING the WWF does is good and what WCW does is just second-rate crap. In my opinion, WCW was a lot more entertaining last night...dont get me wrong i'm not a WCW mark or something--I watch both--I just can't stand it when somebody is so biased towards a company that he can't tell when they are doing a good job in improving their product. When good ol JR and the king talk about "angles" and "spots" its cool, but when Tony mentions those words its pathetic--he's TRYING to be cool.

I just had to get this stuff off my chest. WWF marks just annoy the hell out of me and are detrimental to internet wrestling reporting. I know you're a columnist and are entitled to your own opinion when you report but i wish you would try to be a little more objective in future columns.

thanx-- rob nettles

It is quite possible I would have found the Ross imitation funny - it was certainly dead-on in spots - but it was so much more than that one part of the segment. See above.

You're turn to whining heel status is well on its way. Never before have I seen such a display of misery and heart-wrenching pathos as this "crybaby" angle you're working on Wrestleline. Having worked with pre-kindergarteners as a student, I can say without reservation that you posess a real flair and panache for the screaming, infantile tantrum. Your frequent and repeated use of both profanity and blasphemous babbling do an excellent job of conveying the fact that you have become so incensed that you've lost the ability to communicate in an intelligent manner; surely these are the small details that a lesser man would overlook. Who could doubt that your keyboard and monitor would be soaked with spittle and copious tears after such a heartfelt outburst of sincere outrage?

I hope you can continue to produce such hillarious comedy under the guise of editorial pique in the future. Clearly there is no doubt that this was far more amusing than your usual purported attempt at humor.

I'll save a hankie for you, dear lad,
Mike Naimark

Heyyyyyyyyyy - I'm starting to think he's being SARCASTIC and BITTER!

Certain elements of this past Monday Nitro really sucked. Thanks for providing some comic relief with your report.

Larry Jones

Chris,

Calm down, man!! Looking back at my original letter, I guess it does read pretty harsh -- my apologies. All I'm saying is, your reviews are absolutely the best on the 'net, but you definately have a biased towards the WWF. When Russo/Ferra were with the WWF, you always talked about how exciting their product was over wCw, which, admittedly, it was (and I'll admit, I'm an extreme mark for wCw). I had to sit through those agonizing Nitros just like everybody else and read your reports about how bad Nitro was, and you were right. However, now that the same people who brought us those exciting Raws are now doing the SAME EXACT thing for Nitro, you're still bashing Nitro. I guess all I'm wondering is, what does wCw have to do to get you to become a fan?

Take care,
JimmyG.

I REALLY think people overstate my "praise" of the WWF product. I'd love it if people could provide examples from my archive for everyone's benefit. Plus, if I give you ALL THAT, I'm afraid I *still* don't quite get how I'm supposed to get worked up over a pale imitation of RAW from, say, a year ago. Doesn't that make it still a year out of date? Why watch an imitation when I can watch the original? &c.

At least you admit that you are a WWF mark. No problem with that. But why even do a WCW wrap up when nothing they do is right? If you impersonate a person who can't walk, are you supposed to walk out and do the impersonation as to not offend anyone?

Todd Wright

Good Lord, does it not occur to you that they don't need to do the damn impersonation AT ALL?

Amen, brother.

I didn't catch either of the shows last night. Apparently, I was the lucky one. The JR shit is over the line. What are Russo and Fererra's problem with the WWF anyway? God, if Vincent K. FUCKING MacMahon decided to take me out of my lousy dead-end job and make me enough of a success to where WCW had to STEAL me from him...gee, I'd be fucking PISSED. Fuck Vince. Fuck Ed. Fuck WCW.

You see, you don't go in there and try to make the WEAKEST FUCKING ASPECT OF YOUR COMPANY the feature. You don't try to make these guys personalities, when what you should be doing is letting them WRESTLE YOU GODDAMN PRICKS!!!!

CAPS LOCK ON!!!! TIME TO RAGE MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!! IT SEEMS LIKE WCW IS TRYING TO MAKE THIS A "SMART" SHOW, LIKE IF THEY THROW OUT WORDS LIKE angle AND TRY TO MAKE A "VISIBLE WCW" LIKE THE "VISIBLE MAN" AND IT DOESN'T FUCKING WORK.!!!!! WE DON'T WANT WORK/SHOOT BULLSHIT!!!! RAW WORKS BECAUSE THE STORIES ARE.........WAIT FOR IT.....interesting. AND HAVE YOU NOTICED LATELY THAT THEY'VE PICKED UP THE ACTUAL WRESTLING!!!!! DO YOU ALL THINK THAT HAPPENING AFTER THE FUCKING POWERS THAT SUCK MY DICK LEFT IS A COINCIDENCE? FUCK NO!!!!

In conclusion.....give me a sec......ok, FUCK WCW, FUCK TONY SHVONIOEA WHATEVER THE FUCK HIS NAME IS (IT IS NEVER AN ENTERTAINING NITRO!), FUCK HULK HOGAN ( just for old time's sake), AND FUCK MADDEN AND BOB RYDER AND ALL THOSE FUCKIN SHILLS SAYING THE WWF IS GONNA FOLD IN 6 MONTHS!!!!!

The truth is, if wcw is still around in 6 months I'll be shocked. The wwf doesn't go around talking about how wcw is going under. They handle their shit, and do it well. When David Flair is on tv more than Ric Flair, well, there's trouble.

Dean Fleetwood
http://community.webtv.net/DeanFleetwood/NuthouseHooligans

EASY now! It's JUST a TV show!

Crystal,
Didn't ya think that Lucha match last night was a real "slobberknocker", huh????
And i aint just talkin out da side of muh mouth when i say ya'll innernet marks need to chill n burn one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ouch...anuther "savate kick"!!!!!

Bud Blazer

Your impression is ALMOST as good as Ferrara's...

Is it just me or do the Filthy Animals remind you of the mid 1995 group that was Razor Ramon, Savio Vega and the 123 Kid? Think about it. Multiple hispanics and a skinny white kid with long greasy hair. Kind of a coincidence, don't you think? I love your Monday night reports. Please reply.

Y Stu J

That's a stretch, Stu. The nick is cool, though!

A couple of things you may or may not have noticed about RAW:

First of all, I think that Jericho connected to the "thumb" with every shot with the hammer. However, if you watch real closely to the last swing he takes, her thumb looks awfully rubbery. I think that her thumb was actually out of the glove, and safely tucked under all that padding/duct tape. Don't think so? Check the tape....looks like it to me. Then, when they do the cut scene of Chyna and Kitty with her thumb all messed up, I was very impressed to see that, even after having her hand utterly destroyed with a large hammer, she managed NOT to break her thumbnail!! Hell, I think my girlfriend needs to talk to her about that one...the g/f can break a nail while opening a can of Dew!!!

Second of all, I would have to say that there is very obvious evidence that the guy in the Godfather/Angle match was a plant. Obviously, you caught that, but, just for all the naysayers, think about the past events. When a real fan charges the ring, they try to get the camera off of him/her as soon as possible, so as not to give them the attention they are looking for....

Last of all, not a big deal, but something I always love, when it happens. Go back and watch the very end of RAW. You always like to transcript all dialogue (sp?), well I think you missed some. Look near the very end, where the Rock was on Albert with a chain, Hebner jumped to the apron, and the following conversation took place:

Heb: "Fifteen, Rocky!"

Rock: "Huh?"

Heb: "Fifteen."

If you keep count from that moment, there is almost exactly 15 seconds until the show goes off the air. Like I said, not a big deal, but something sorta interesting, none the less =)

Dustin Jones

Listen, I know that the Jim Ross thing pissed you off, but to blow off the remaining portion of your recap was unprofessional and disappointing. I have read your recaps for a while now, and I haven't had any problems with all the WCW bashing that you do. I didn't like the Jim Ross thing either, but it didn't piss me off as much as when Nash did the promoter. The Ross bit did not span the whole show nor did the announcers really bring it up after it was over. It amazes me that this pisses you off so much when WWF does a lame FUNERAL CRASHING scene with the big slow and bossman and you don't get half as much pissed. The Vamp vs. Berlyn match was better than you stated and during the luchadore match Juvi did the People's Elbow which you totally ignored, you are usually on top of stuff like that. In closing, a little segment like that, although very crappy, is not worth bitching about as much as you did. Next week I hope you can return to form and deliver a humorous but RESPECTABLE recap.

Db2334

Put a dollar in my pocket and I'll feel like I OWE you something. As for "unprofessional" (ha), Monday was the closet I've EVER gotten to just skipping a week - just turning off the TV and saying "fuck it, I AIN'T doing this." I was THAT pissed off. And I'm supposed to LOVE wrestling!

Besides, the coffin surfing was FUNNY.

You sir, are the biggest WWF mark to ever walk the face of the planet. Why don't you go join McMahon and Shawn Michaels in a love triangle?

You say that Goldberg has completely forgotten how much he and Bret Hart hated each other........What about McMahon and Test?..........that makes a lot more sense.

It just shows how much you miss Russo and Co., because you loved those shows when they wrote for the WWF.

The sooner they remove you from the Nitro recap, the better, because God forbid someone actually missed the show and wants to know what really happened.

Mike Wall

Again, please provide evidence that I have professed love for Russo and Co. when they were writing RAW. The old reports are there for you to use against me - please - enlighten ALL of us.

I BELIEVE I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE THAT AGREES WITH ME ON HOW NITRO STILL BASICALLY SUCKS. YOU WOULD THINK THAT WITH THE TWO GENIUS WRITERS FROM UP NORTH THE SHOW WOULD BE ORIGINAL BUT IT SEEMS THAT ALL THEY CAN WRITE FOR IS WWF PERSONNEL SO THEY HAVE TO CREATE PARODIES AND RECYCLE OLD STORYLINES. I ALSO AGREE THAT THE STEVE WILLIAMS "JR" SKIT WAS OUT OF LINE IT WOULD SEEM THAT ALL THE INTERVIEWS RUSSO GAVE ABOUT NO HARD FEELINGS WAS BULLS#!$. THE ONE THING ABOUT THE WWF I ENJOY MOST IS HOW I CARE ABOUT THE PERFORMERS IN WCW I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT ANY INCLUDING THE ALMIGHTY NASH AND GOLDBERG. RUSSO AND FERRERA NEED TO PROVE THEY ARE THE SAVIORS OF WCW BY WRITING ORIGINAL MATERIAL AND NOT CONTINUE TO PROVE THEY ARE WITH THE #2 ORGANIZATION BY POKING FUN AT #1. THE BEST THING ABOUT NITRO IS TORRIE WILSON. I GAVE SURVIVOR SERIES A THUMBS IN THE MIDDLE I WASN'T DISAPPOINTED BUT IT WAS NOT THE BEST EFFORT. IT SEEMS TO BE HARD TO PUT ON GREAT PPV'S EVERY MONTH I BELIEVE THEY WERE BETTER WHEN EACH COMPANY ONLY PUT ON ABOUT SIX A YEAR AND NEVER COMPETED AND NEVER TWO A MONTH AS IT IS NOW. I ENJOY YOUR RECAPS AND READ THEM EVERY WEEK YOU ARE ALWAYS CRITICAL ON BOTH COMPANIES EQUALLY AND FAIRLY WHEN WARRANTED UNLIKE BOB RYDER WHO SEEMS TO HAVE LEFT HIS FAIRNESS AND MORALITY AT THE BANK WHEN HE SIGNS HIS WCW CHECK.

Edwin Fluellen

I agree with all this - but come on, man - the CAPS LOCK - take it off, baby.

CRZ,

I just wanted to commend you on your Nitro report for this week, it seems you had the exact same reaction to the JR bit on Nitro that I did - after watching it, we flipped to RAW and left it there, never turning back to Nitro. While I realize the battle between the two feds is intense, it surely doesn't have to get so low as to make fun of someone who gave their all to WCW for years. If that's the best that Russo and Ferrara can come up with, then the WWF hasn't lost a thing by the two retards getting signed by Turner's band of merry morons. Calling Creative Control "Patrick and Gerald"??? It's beyond stupid, it's damn near goofy and mind-numbing. But I digress, the Ross thing absolutely crossed the line, IMODO. Part of me wants Ross to fight back at the earliest possible chance, but another part wants to see him completely ignore the low blows, and watch WCW fail miserably in their quest to become "WWF- The Sequel" - and we all know that sequels usually blow big chunks.

Now, I have a quick question - I'm very interested in writing a weekly column for a wrestling site, somewhat of an editorial-slash-news-slash-PPV previews-type of column, but have no idea who to write to or contact as to a reputable, often-viewed site to write for. I realize Wrestleline is probably not in the search for another wrestling writer, so do you have any suggestions as to a good site/person to contact? Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for your time, keep up the good work!!

Eddie Sawyers

CRZ.net is always taking submissions - you'd be linked from the front page, too! Wotta deal!

I must say, I have grown to expect amateurish reporting from you as well as a WWF bias in your writing. However, upon reading your latest "Nitro Report", I know realize that I might have overestimated your journalistic abilities. Granted, the world you cover is Entertainment and not International news or other "important" realms, yet it is still under the umbrella of what is termed "journalism". Now, it is quite obvious that you have no idea of what that term means. I , for one, can tell you what it DOES NOT mean. It does not mean "opinionated", nor does it mean "emotionally saturated". Regaredless of what you may think, it is your responsibility as someone who relays information to countless others that you at least take some journalistic integrity into your "writing" process. While it is evident that you favor the WWF's "crash and burn" style more so than the blatantly similar Nitro's, it is NOT your place to parlay that opinion in your atricle if you continue to dress it up as a report of the occurences on the show, instead of what it really is - a forum for you to express YOUR opinions instead of what ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

Ednathans

If I can't alleviate you of the belief that I deserver a "journalism" tag after Monday, then there's no hope for either of us. Listen, it's not MY FAULT WrestleLine can't find a sucker to give them a straight report. Go read the WCW.com report already. You'll get no enjoyment out of my stuff, so STOP READING IT.

CRZ,
I just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers for making a quick recovery from having to watch Nitro last night. No man should ever be forced to watch such shit, and I do believe that Nitro has now surpassed the limits set forth by the Geneva Convention on what can be done to POWs.

DrHogie

He "loved" it..according to his latest NFB.

He's sick....a WCW shill who is warped. Listen to this story.

He once suspended me from *P* for one month because I called him out....

Remember an old Brett Hart interview when he wanted to "ax" Harlem Heat a question? I said that was making fun of the Afro American (Im white btw) speech.

Genius Ryder said I called Hart a racist. I said No I didn't...show me where I did?

He wouldn't admit he was wrong, so after I said just admit you were wrong he suspended me.

I like your site....been reading it for years...keep up the good work.

Keith

Theory: Russo and Ferra are double-agents, sent by Vince to really make Nitro a f*cking mess. Yes, WCW blew chunks last year, but at least it was laughable bad. Now... its just brutal.

CritterCrider

With every passing week, weird as it sounds, this seems more and more plausible...

Here's a good conspiracy. It was long rumored that Austin would face the big slow by next wrestlemania, but now how do you make the big slow turn back heel in time? Here's how. you show that he faked his own dad's death. One of the many lessons slow learned at the learning tree was to pretend that your parent or parents are dead just like Taker. On the night of Survivor Series, Slow, playing on alleged sympathy of Mr. Mcmahon, begged to be in the main event, but as it was already set Mcmahon declined, but tells Slow if one of the others can't make it he will get in. Slow then tells his father that the gambit has failed. Slow's father, in rage and frustration, having already committed the felony of faking his own death, decides to steal the Rock's car and go on a crime spree, hoping the rock would be aressted before the main event. As Slow's father returned to the arena to put the Rock's car back in it's place, filled with evidence of various crimes, he spies Austin WALKING, and decides to run him over, hoping to remove both Rock and Austin in one masterful sweep. Yes, the wheel man was none other than the Big Slow's father, Andre the Giant...uh I mean Paul Wight Sr.

mark markham

Wow, this is a GREAT story - and it'll never happen. Plus, does that mean his MOMMA was acting too? I don't think she'd go along with it...

I agree with you, Nitro definitely blew chunks. I can't believe how badly it sucks now. A few months ago it still sucked, but i felt they were going somewhere. They had SOME potential. Now it's just "powers that be" this, and "sports entertainment" there. Reading your column is about 1000% more entertaining than watching the show.

DaRock32

im a pretty big fan of your column and i like what you wrote about nitro. i thought it was utter crap even thought the wcw marks seem to love it. but then i see your raw column and i dont even see one sight of critisim. you play like everything is good on the show. i think mostly everyone on the "net" says that it was a bad raw since

1- the bossman is the number one contender
2- the bossman is in the main event
3- like always, 2 min matches which on nitro you scream at
4- nothing really interesting happened after a ppv (rather a horrible one)

i respect how you right on many thinga, but last nights raw is basically like that crap on tnt (except alot better production) with short matches, some pretty lame segments ( world wide filth?) and the worst thing of all, the BOSSMAN is the no 1 contender. ive seen some of your columns in the past where nitro was runned by bischoff, and you reacted the same way. do you favor raw or something or do you think that raw put on a good show? thanks for reading, keep up the good work.

Metro758

ps- even though ive seen your sight before, i would LOVE to see you review some ecw on wrestleline.

I don't think I'm interested in doing an ECW report.

You know, ANOTHER mistake people make is accusing me of heaping praise on RAW - when all I REALLY do is "not complain." The absence of criticism doesn't exactly lead to the conclusion that I LOVED the show. Let me try that again - just because I didn't say "I hate this" doesn't necessarily imply "I love this." Yeah? You with me?

Besides, I'm pretty sure I panned the hammer to Chyna's prosthetic thumb...hmm, let me go back and check....well, okay...I was pretty easy on them. SO WHAT! I'M BIASED!!!!!!!

Why do you even bother to write Nitro recaps? You're articles are so biased that theycannot even be remotely objective. Why put forth the effort...or at least if you want to criticize the show, write a column rather then disguising it as a recap when it's just one opinion after another, with maybe some sarcastic description here and there to flaunt your wit.

Just a thought

Jeff Arcaro

I'll take that under advisement, Peaches.

Why in the FUCKING world would a stupid ass little WWF mark give a flying fuck about WRESTLING please stop watching and reviewing NITRO you stupid SHEEP , Hypocrite just keep eating the shit Vincent K. Satan is shoveling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CCSEARCH

Vincent K. SATAN?

Holy shit! That was perhaps the most accurate NITRO-report I've ever seen.

From straight outta Canada Mr. CRZ - YOU ARE THE SHIT!!

Thanks for not being a lemming. And be sure to check out Bobby-Ray Ryder's column for some yucks!

d@rren

I try to avoid Ryder's column - I know what he's going to say and I know I'll have a problem with it. Hey! Other folks could do that WITH ME, couldn't they?

your nitro report was the first piece of bad writing i've read from you. your usual wit was smothered by an onslaught of curses that made the report seem like it was written by a middle school student. also, there was to much of statements along the lines of ,"I'm gonna say 'this', and if you don't like 'this', it's too f*cking bad." which, again, makes you come across like a 13 year old fan who only watchs the wwf. well, that's about. John

Yeah, BUT-- I really don't swear as much as people (or WrestleLine) THINK I do. I tend to use it for impact. Sorry you didn't like it, but hey, that's what I was thinking at the time!

Watching Nitro and reading Sean Shannon's ECW re-caps are an awful lot alike. I, personally, spend most of the time wondering how the fuck these slapnuts ever got these jobs (Sean or the Powers That Be).

Speaking of the Powers, shouldn't it be the Powers that Are? Powers is plural, but be is a singular verb. We be (or they be) is only correct in Ebonics class. From now on it should be, the power that is, or the powers that are, or even the power that used to be. Make it so.

George Paul

I want to thank you because you wrote in your nitro recap the same opininion I had about the whole damned show .

Carlos Alberto Ruiz

Hey i read your Nitro report today and I agree it was an awful show. I don't understand what Vince and Ed are trying to do with WCW, but having the TV announcers say shit about angles is so retarded. When you watch wrestling you're obviously supposed to suspend your disbelief that its scripted for three hours, why are they having their announcers remind that its all storylines and angles?!

Have you seen what Bob Ryder wrote on his page today? He apparently thinks the Jim Ross thing was hilarious. So Bob Ryder's new motto is "Two Wrongs Make A Right" because the WWF did some things to make fun of WCW, so now WCW and do things twice as bad. I'm sorry but my friend's girlfriend got bell's paulsey and it wasn't somthing to be made fun of. God Ryder is such a fucking hypocryte. I also think its funny how he's so critical of the Survivor Series' main event being scrapped... hmm do you remember a month ago at Halloween Havoc? Wasn't the main event there supposed to be Hogan vs. Sting? What happened to that!

Oh I forgot, it doesn't count because to be a WCW fan you can't have a memory that lasts longer then two weeks.

WCW is proving that Vince and Ed aren't all they're hyped up to be, Raw is still much more smoother and at least it makes sense (you hardly ever get the feeling "Why the fuck did that happen" when you're watching it)

Anyways take it easy, your reports kick ass.

Joel McMurray

"They did it, so it's okay if we do it." That's SUCH the valid reasoning, ain't it?

In reference to "ryder's line", Ed Ferrara (who was the one impersonating JR...so much for "no on-camera role") came on WCW Live's post-show and they continued to make fun of JR's bells palsy, apparently. Including Ryder.

Adam "Tired of North American wrestling period" Engel

Yeah, but we expect that level of class from Ryder, don't we?

You know what's really depressing about the Rock thing at the end of RAW is that if they're preparing for a heel turn- they're in trouble. The damn crowd chanted Rock E louder than ever when he bloodied the faces of the heels- maybe because they're HEELS! I suppose they're going to do the gradual thing that Russo used to be *snicker* the master at *guffaw*

Nash wishes he was funny enough to be part of DX. Then again, DX wishes they were funny enough that they were the DX of 1998 or the original with HBK, and they aren't, so that leaves alot to be said about Nash.

Why did Sid say he only had half the brain of Nash? WTF?

I didn't even notice that stupid Patrick and Gerald thing. That's amazingly lame- and how can Russo rip on DOA when he probably helped create the fucking thing?

Russo has a really weird accent. In Foley's book he describes it as Brooklyn mixed in with a few others but it's just really weird sounding. Kind of cool, actually, except for how FUCKING OBNOXIOUS it is.

Was it me or did the "dong" for midnight sound alot like Undertaker's?

Fat Tony was sucking it up all night, not taking his job seirously. I think the fat fuck is trying to get fired. "I'm making words up as I go along", "That was a lame angle anyway", and the entire fucking FARCE when the pinata drops off the pole and HE FUCKING COMMENTS ON IT. The fucking idiots could have at least shifted camera angles and ignored it while *SOMEONE* put it back up. You know, maybe, the REF? I was as pissed as you. Loved the play-by-play for that match, BTW.

How much did Amway pay for their promotion on WCW? Probably about 10 cents a mention, for what it's worth.

WCW's version of fight club? I didn't hear that. He couldn't have said that. He's not that fucking ignorant, is he?

The reason the first hour sucked so bad is because of all the anti-WWF bullshit. At least when DX did it, it was half-way funny. Some of it.

The best part about Nitro sucking so bad? RAW has finally started to get half-way not shitty again with Russo gone. Though it still kind of sucks. It's better than it was~!

Fett9025

I'm kinda sad that you have such issues with recapping Nitro. Clearly you enjoy the WWF and/or Walker Texas Ranger more. Reading you recapps show that you have serious problems. But I'm not here to preach.

i don't want to insult or attack, its just opinion, thats the point. Those recapps are now your opinion, thats it. So given that I think your opinion is quite different than mine, its no big deal.

Don't worry, I'm not too sad... mostly because I've tried to read your recapps at an entertainment angle. But they aren't worth my time. I gave you the benefit of the doubt. But they don't entertain me. Kinda sounds like you and WCW doesn't it? hmmm...

John J. Heiser III

Wait...so are you saying you're going to start reading or I should stop writing? Come out with it, man!

Damn, man, I thought Nitro put on a sub-par show myself, but after reading your review, whew. You really sized them up and told it like it was. I totally agree that poking at WWF was funny once, but is this going to be some weekly thing, or should I say weak-ly? I try and read your reports for both shows each week but I don't ever think I could agree more with you about Nitro. They are doomed to be the also-ran, the second fiddle. I don't think I got as pissed off as you did(I also cannot remember a time when you railed into a show this much) but now after reading such a scathing review, I TOO AM REALLY PISSED OFF!!!! THEY SUCK THEY SUCK!!!

There, whew two times. Listen to the Autechre Peel Sessions, that might make you feel better.

Lord Of Fungus

No WAY, man! It's all JUNGLE for me this week! AAAAHHHHHH! TEMPER TEMPER! TEMPER TEMPER NOW NOW.....

===== Original Message From Christopher Robin Zimmerman
====>You're STILL reading?!?

Somebody ought to. The only other place one can go to see an purported 'adult' act in such an infantile manner is an Adam Sandler movie, and frankly I don't care enough to pony up $6 to see one. I'd like to see more potty-mouthed commentary and blasphemous bluster for next week's column, please, as well as a continuation of this newfound political correctness that seems to have taken WWF fans by storm in the last 24 hours. Who'da thunk the same fans who guffawed their way through ham-fisted jokes about mental illness and suicide when aimed at Ted Turner would suddenly become so sympathetic to the plight of those with minor cosmetic neurological defects? Anything can happen in the WWF indeed!

So back to work, young Zimmerman! You've got quite an act to follow next week if you intend to keep your position as the Pauley Shore of wrestling scribes!

MNAIMARK

Pauley Shore? Now I KNOW he's just being sarcastic and bitter!

Gotta tell you man.. I thought just about everything WCW did last night was hilarious outside of the Sid/Nash thing. Especially the Jr/Ferrea part. This WCW outlash agaisnt the WWF is complettly warranted in my book.. Oh you forgot the summer of 98? And in the JR sketch he may have been indirecttly acting like he had bells palsy through acting like JR. but it was just part of the impersonation. Lets not forget WWF did the same exact impersonation with some fan out of the audience... who was then attacked by Dr Death.

So call WCW sick or whatever but it was hysterical.. He acted liek he had bells palsy..

Oh wait WWF FUCKING MADE FUN OF CANCER and the death of another person my Mom died of cancer.. so in your words F+ck you WWF!

DaytonC16

Personally, I liked the Jim Ross Fake angle on WCW TV. Ross and McMahon can butcher and critize WCW tv and they get cheered for it. Oh the ironry, if it is not good ole Vince doing it its wrong. I bet you would have had a good laugh if Vince had brought out Stevie Richards as Hulk Hogan or something, jobbing to LUNA.

WCW isn't perfect, but it is bad if WCW does the Flair/Torrie/Kimberly/Aysha angle, but when Chris Jerkico smashes Chyna's hand with a hammer ITS GREAT.

No my friend, WCW doesn't suck

YOU SUCK.

Clint "Hulkamania Bottom" Johnson

Good Lord, you didn't even READ my RAW report, did you. The word "great" was NEVER used in connection with the hammer. I PROMISE you.

Good comments about Tony Schisuckass. He is the fucking worst announcer. Hudson should be announcing with the brain. It would be awesome. Half the time i watch nitro, which was good last night even though you differ, I fucking mute just so i don't have hear tony schivanoe talk

BRANDON HOPWOOD

just read your nitro report. I LOVED IT. I am sick and tired of the nitro guys poking fun at Raw. It just makes them look like asses. Especially the JR thing that was totally uncalled for.

Keep up the REAL commentary

Rafael

Chris as far as figuring out who ran over Austin, script wise what would be the best scenario for this to play out? My mind tells me that Stephanie McMahon may have something to do with this situation. Tell me what do you think?

WINDOROLIVER

Naaah.

I find it to be amazing that so much criticism is given to WCW Nitro when it is clear as day light that Monday Night Raw was terrible just like the Survivor Series. You can try to stick up for the WWF all you want but try to justify how good Monday Night Raw was. None of the matches are worth watching, the talent roster sucks and wrestlers aren't even be used correctly. Chris Jericho jobs to Chyna on a pay per view? Get Real! Chris Jericho's credibility as a champion is tarnished with the loss to Chyna on a pay per view. If Chyna can escape the Lion Tamer then anyone can. Jericho should have stayed in WCW. He will not be a main event attraction ever in the WWF. The Rock loses two nights in a row! What is up with that? He is clearly the franchise of the WWF and he loses to the Big Boss Man on Monday Night Raw! What a main event The Big Show vs. The Big Boss Man. The WWF sucks right now. There isn't even a need to comment on the wrestlers because they are insignificant. Taz won't make an impact just like Chris Jericho & The Dudley Boyz. Can't wait to read your opinion on Monday Night Raw. I am sure that there are plenty of highlights and amazing wrestling matches that you talk about.

Marcus Williams

Hey,

Just finished reading your Nitro report. Nice rant, and I agree with it whole-heartedly. Russo and company would be better off forgetting about Titan and just focusing on what they have (though I still prefer Raw hands down). Those types of cheapshots are pretty much uncalled for, and I didn't see the humor in it. My roommate (huge Nitro mark who had a beef with the way Raw's content was a while back, but who can't get enough of the new writing on Nitro. Typical) enjoyed it, and when I called him on it for the cheapshot it was, he merely cited that Raw did the same thing when they were losing the rating's war.

I don't agree with what they did, but it accomplished what it set out to do: It got the net reporters (you, Isaacs, probably Mike and Rick once they post, and a ton of others) riled and giving Nitro more press on Nitro (even if it is negative) then usual. Yeah, not everyone's a smart mark, but if they get curious about WCW being outlandish the way the WWF was being outlandish, and the word of mouth spreads, then stunts like that, or Nash mimicking Vince, or whatever, will work.

It's the same thing with Titan right now as well. The angles (Stephanie pregnant [with the implication that it was DX], Big Show's Dad, Bossman's acts, etc.) will start to generate the negative press sooner or later, like it did last year around this time. Regardless of the taste, that'll generate a buzz, and coupled with a high profile commercial or two (around Superbowl time), they'll get some viewers.

Yeah, it sucks, but as long they know that they can play the media and get the bad boy press, it'll keep up. Russo knows it, and Vince knows it, and I'm betting the reaction today all around is exactly what Russo wanted.

God help us if both companies try to top each other with these angles...

I also figure Russo for a short reign in WCW anyway, and have for a while (I was surprised he still wanted to do wrestling anyway, anywhere). As an aspiring writer, there's only so long you can write any one thing before burning out or wanting to move on to other projects. He's been writing wrestling for a while now, and given the frustrations that will be involved with not being able to do his angles because of Turner's family guidelines, that the production crew sucks, and that the ego's involved are probably going to give him crap sooner then later, he'll be looking for the door within six months to a year (personal opinion, but don't be surprised, especially if that sitcom works out and opens a few doors; Russo's using WCW for his own benefit in terms of connections, though the workload probably sucks right now).

Emotion can only carry you so long before you get tired of it, and revenge and hate are harder to maintain long term (and anyone who at this point thinks that the split was amicable is nuts).

Anyway, I've gone on long enough. Nice job as usual this week, and thanks for doing the job you do. It's gotta be rough, and you get crap for your opinions, but thanks for sticking withit and making it entertaining anyway.

Later,

Sven, wondermoose to the stars

I wonder how long I'VE got before burnout. What? It already HAPPENED??

After reading your Nitro recap, I get the impression you're starting to sound like that angry guy on scoops, Hyatt. Calm down. We all know it sucks and it makes us mad but it'll get better, I'm sure of it. Wrestling recycles itself quite well.

-=Scott Griffith=-

It's getting to the point that I'm starting to think that it WON'T get better.

I recall WWF doing many things to make WCW look stupid (Billionaire Ted, DX Invasion, Gillberg, weekly cheapshots by Good Ol' JR) yet that was OK because it was funny. Yet when WCW does it, it's not funny and you act like a 12 year-old lemming with a Vince fetish. God, I never realised you took the WWF so seriously. For God's sake lighten up, dude. Why is it so many WWF lemmings get emotionally upset anytime anyone has the audacity to rip into the WWF and the Allmighty Vince. People like you should get a life!

WCWChatra

Nice screen name. Using the word "lemming" is an automatic DQ, but let's assume the ref isn't looking. PLEASE go to the Archives and check for DX's invasion and what I said about it. PLEASE make the ATTEMPT to back up your claims that I have a blanket of praise for everything WWF. I am BEGGING you - don't just make the claim to feel better, provide some proof. 'til then, I can't take you seriously.

I was reading your nitro report for nov 15 and i thought that the jim ross thing was fucked up too. Bagging on someone you don't like is one thing, but bagging on someone's unfortunate condition is just atrocious. That was sick. A big fuck you to WCW for me too.

but...

I was reading the report and i get the impression frm you that there is NOTHING that can be done by WCW that would make you happy. Raw could turn into nitro with McMahon writing and you'd still be pissed. What does WCW have to do to make you happy?

Pete N.

Don't piss on the luchadors, for a start.

Thinking that SH*T like THIS is going to bring in the viewers and put WCW back on top to stay, make everybody money...I mean, they can't actually BELIEVE this. Hell, at this point I'm ready to believe that they KNOW their asses are gone in a month so they might as well get in every cheap shot they can while they have the keys to the kingdom. It's just *mind-boggling*. F*Cking pathetic. Morons. I don't even need to tell you that they just PRETEND the pinata is actually up on the pole this whole time. Nor do I have to tell you that Williams gets in, crotches Guerrera on the top rope (bell rings at 4:20 - how apropos), then destroys pretty much everybody, culminating in stealing the cheque from Silver King and pocketing it. Commentary will go completely ignored - f*ck you, WCW.

ARE YOU SURE YOURE NOT A WCW MARK? HAHA!! Good column!

XxTDCRxX

That was the greatest fucking Nitro report I've ever read. Later....

Sanderz

Your commentary really hit the nail on the head. As for Kevin Nash, I think of an old Mickey Mantle quote: "I wish I could buy you for what you're worth, and sell you for what you think you're worth". The whole JR parody was disgusting. I have a decent tolerance level for stupid and disturbing things (such as watching WCW in the early 90s), but making fun of Bell's Palsy just isn't funny....which seems to be a constant in WCW. At this rate, maybe they'll drop a dummy from the ceiling. I think Russo and Ferrera are about at the same level as Kevin Nash...which isn't exactly a compliment. But the line of the whole evening, had to be Fat Tony's line about the Internet marks thinking they can announce...I was trying to fill in the blank with that one.....Iistening to Fat Tony almost makes me long for Art Donovan's articulate performance at the King of the Ring 1994. As for Kevin Nash vs Sid....... I swore I thought WCW could do no worse than PN News, the Shockmaster, the Yetti, Road Wild (or Fall Brawl) 98, Jay Leno or KISS, but they never cease to amaze.

Soldout316

your corny and give wcw a break and your website stinks

JMARTI514

Thing is, I *think* he's talking about WrestleLine here! Like THAT would bother me! HA!

CRZ -

I gotta give you massive props! It took a lot for you to go over the edge and you finally did, and put WCW in its place for it. People are saying they're more satisfied with Nitro this week than Raw, but I can't understand that because RAW gave us clean finishes to good matches this week. They say it's because this police thing dragged on during the whole show? Bull - I didn't see one police segment in the alst 30 minutes...and besides, how much air time is given to Creative Control and the Powers that Be on Nitro. What do you think/

One more thing - check out Bob Ryder's report today about last night. He validates the use of Ed Ferrera as Jim Ross, Bells Palsy jokes and all. I honestly believe he is a hypocrit and now, after letting us know about WCW, tell us CRZ, what are your thoughts on Bob Ryder.

Dave Smolowitz

On 4 June 1999, Bob Ryder said "I'm a shill." What else do we need?

Ok, you didn't like this (11/15/1999) Nitro. I thought it was RED HOT myself but that's my taste and, obviously, out tastes differ. So no reason to go over your commentary point by point. Except one detail...

Elsewhere, Goldberg headbutts the Surge machine - HE'S STEALING SODA!

You could see him slipping the coins in before he headbutted the machine.

Arthur Kimes

So now we know...THE SECRET!

Hey Chris...

I am a loyal reader of your columns but I have one question and based on your infinite knowledge of "sports entertainment," I hope you can answer. Is The Big Show the first WWF Champion to ever snot on the belt? Just wondering.

Thanks,
Phil Russolesi

THIS email came at just the right time. ;-)

Chris,
Just want to thank you for giving me a HUGE laugh [notice the caps?]..LOL.
Your report was WAY funny.
Thanks again.

Rick O'Brien
RCW/NWA-NY

I agree that WCW and Russo are full of shit. I wouldn't mind the "impersonations" once in a while but EVERY WEEK WCW pulls this shit out their ass against WWF instead of building there own damn company up. Let Psicosis guillotine Russo's ass and stick Ski-Vone under Juvi's 450 splash. Keep up the good reports, I read 'em each week.

JokerJJ

I'm sure Williams will break Psychosis' neck next week to open the show. Sigh.

You are such a WWF mark that you can't even look at a Nitro objectively anymore. And if you could you wouldn't like it because you're also such an internet smart that you can't look at Wrestling from the fans point of view anymore. I am a regular fan who doesn't time matches, require an off of the cage diving headbut, or require everything that is showed to be wrestling. When will the smarts get it? People don't watch for the same stuff they do. We watch for TnA, storylines, and a couple of unexpected twists. Nitro gave that to us. I genuinely believe that for the first time in at least 10 months I liked Nitro better than Raw this week. I didn't necessarily think it was close to good before this week but it was last night. And more, Raw was Booooring. Their was bigger pops on Nitro, better storylines, and better TnA. The matches were all active and entertaining (Save Barbarian/Flynn) even if the finish or start never happened. It was cool and had a nice flow too. You have no idea how much your biased, one-sided, stupid report pissed me off this week. You lost all credibility with me. I used to like you when Raw was much better but now you've exposed yourself as a mark. And, a good reporter is not a mark.

Chris Worrall

Whoa whoa whoa ... I had CREDIBILITY?

Chris Montague

There ratings HAVEN'T gone up, by the way.

Chris,

1) Gotta tell you, your Nitro recap is so funny that it hurts. Literally. I just got home from wrestling practice (and if Herb Kunze was there, he'd be calling ME the Big Slow), and every muscle in my body hurts, particularly stomach muscles, which I hurt every time you go off on Tony Schiavone.

2) About Tony...I've sat in front of a live mic plenty of times...I think I told you that I used to be a DJ at my old high school...actually, I did one music show (mostly classic rock and old metal with some alternative and new metal mixed in), and a wrestling talk show, which featured interviews with MARC MERO, BILL APTER, and the wrestling bigwig then known as VIC VENOM. Given my wrestling knowledge, though, you're right: I could DEFINITELY do a better job than Tony Schiavone on Nitro. Heck, as "Good Ol' D.D." I do the announcing for my friends' backyard fed, and I do a better job. Not original, because my style is a blend of Ross-isms and Styles-isms, not to mention my occasional challenge for Tony Schiavone to a fight.

3) Have you seen Goldberg's new "Target Acquired" T-Shirt commercial? With the red laser beam coming from his eye, he almost looks like a Borg...how's "Goldborg" sound for a future recap-ism?

4) Next time you're in NY, let me know. I live about an hour out of the city by train, we could hang out. I could show you around Chappaqua (now known as "Clintonqua").

Later,

Doomsday

Everybody read "the Device!"

CZ, you're taking this all too seriously. Since when did Jim Ross become a sacred cow in this business? He talks shit about WCW in EVERY outlet, on Raw, in his report, online, everywhere. I'm sure if they brought out Steve Williams without a shot at Ross, V&E would be accused of bungling a creative opportunity.

Besides, I thought you'd be more pissed off at the cruel portrayal of the luchas as being on WCW, willing to do anything, if only they are paid enough money, which is an observation that cuts straight to the truth. I'm sure in Northern Cal (right) there are Latino community leaders simply outraged at the whoring out of the pinata, although I'm surprised it hasn't happened sooner. The only thing they didn't do was give the luchas 9 mm. handguns instead of sticks. That, to me, is the real pisser of the week, especially if Villano, Juvi and everyone don't get some payback.

So fine, there are tons of screwjob endings on Nitro. I don't care. I'm probably going to order Mayhem because I thoroughly enjoyed the last pay-per-view and the booking and storylines, I'm certain, will be better one month later.

V&E have done more with Sid than Vince McMahon has done in all the years of working with Mr. Eudy. That's no shit. And have you noticed, Bret "Clarke" and Benoit are bracketed to meet in the final. Was their earlier match just a swerve, or a preview?

So, ummm, a little more positive review, pleeeeeease....

Tony Dela Cruz

You are the man. I read the rcaps of all the shows, and usually the reviewers turn themselves inside out to find at least one good thing about a show. WCW is stupid, fucking bullshit, and you admitted it. It sucks and is a waste of time. You should review 7th Heaven, at least its story angles make sense. Keep up the good work and never use the term slapnuts.

Adam Smith

TONY F*CKING SCHIAVONE said "That was a really lame angle anyway." He used the word "angle." Can this company try HARDER to suck? Is it POSSIBLE?

While I agree that it would be damn hard for this company to suck any harder than it does now, one little thing. When Nash made his guest appearance on Thunder, he said something to the effect of "People called me a bad booker. Well, I booked myself into the best angle imaginable. Retirement." So he's already referred to the retirement thing as an angle. So Schiavone wasn't bringing this up out of the blue. However, I do agree that hearing Tony "THIS IS THE BEST BREAKFAST IN THE HISTORY OF THIS GREAT MEAL!" Schiavone use smark words really sucks. Hudson, fine. Heenan, fine. Schiavone, no.

Corey Worrell

Man, WCW must be getting really bad to piss you off that much. I'm glad I don't waste my time with that nonsense any more. I watched 2 matches on Monday. The Hall-Benoit match was good, and it had a great finish too. That's how wrestling should be done. After the Hart-Kidman match though, I said "Screw you, WCW" and turned off the TV. I mean, Hart and Kidman could tear the place up with an awesome match, and they get 4 minutes, with entirely too liberal doses of "Sports Entertainment". If the "Powers That Be" actually think that they can (poorly) imitate the WWF and get better ratings, then they must be smoking something VERY potent. Later.

Ryan Eckenroth

PS - Oh yeah, what the hell did Rey say when he was doing "commentary". Either he REALLY sucks on the mic, or I must be have been (unknowingly) drunk at the time.

I love your nitro reports because you speak the truth. In your next column could you please tell these nitro fans that the one of the reasons (and there are many) that the product bites is because you need a better knowledge of wwf history and storylines than wcw's.I wonder how these fans feel that everything they cheered about before the change doesn't matter anymore. It never happened in their minds. That's being a hypocrite when you say the wwf sucks. Maybe that's because even wcw didn't have knowledge of what they were doing. If they want to appeal to the "smart" fans they should build a storyline of why they sucked for the last year (Kevin nash) instead of these skits. What happens when they finish rehashing the wwf? what will they do? I almost believe that Vince sent them to wcw on purpose. And with the announcers now praising what they were told before was wrong is laughable. Watching wcw is like watching someone trying a face turn and having no idea they're the hated heel.

ACald1541

Even if it was crap, this was the first time that I recognized who Nash was impersinating on the first try. And what, is Torrie marrying Mr. Micasa or something?

Matt Plunk

Mike wrote me today - he said "stop referring to her as Torrie Samuda. Wait until we have made the official announcement." I THINK he was kidding - but it's hard to tell sometimes...

OK, you didn't like how the luchadors were used. It's reality check (TM, Roddy Piper, 1999) time. As much as 'smarts' enjoy watching the likes of Psychosis, Silver King and La Parka do their thing, the majority of fans can't stand them. These days the fans want storylines (ask your God V.K.M. about that) and unfortunately, most luchadors cannot assist WCW in that respect due to the language barriers. Because 90% of fans couldn't care less about work rate or great matches, the only other way to use these guys is in a comedy role. Look what portraying guys like Jim Duggan, Norm Smiley and Lex Luger as comedy figures has done for them. They're like entertaining for the first time ever. OK, the whole luchador match was booked around silly stereotypes. Well, the WWF has always been built around stereotypes (have you forgotten Iron Sheik, The Bolsheviks, Saddam Slaughter, Mr. Fuji & Prof. Tanaka, Koko B. Ware, Yokozuna, Tito Santana (El Matador), Kamala, etc., etc.) so for you to be offended by the WCW bringing stereotypes into their product, yet at the same time admitting you're a lifelong WWF fan that has been built around stereotypes, it's just plain confusing.

Let's look at the facts: