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This
is a wrestler.
This
is a wrestler.
Even
this is a wrestler.
This,
however, is NOT a wrestler.
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This week I’m
going
to break tradition and refrain from mentioning Steph’s
husband
even ONCE during the course of my column. Instead, I’m
going
to address two of the more, shall we say, intellectually
challanged
ideas that are being voiced around the net at the
moment.
Silly
Idea #1: Cruiserweights aren't 'real' wrestlers.
*groan*
Ever notice that the people that say things like this are
typically
the same people that complain about how "slow and
boring"
guys like Undertaker
and
The Big Show are? So who exactly do
these folks
see as the "ideal" size for a wrestler? The
Rock or
Trip…
uhhhh, argg, I mean, the guy I promised not to mention? Nooooo,
the Smark Pundits hate THEM too! The only guys Smarks seem to
like
are Jericho and Benoit…
but they’re both cruiserweights! There's no pleasing
some people...
Don’t let
yourself
be fooled. Size has nothing to do with wrestling ability, and it
has nothing to do with the quality of a match. Kidman
and Rey are flyspecks
compared
to Kronik, but are far more
entertaining. Sure, an entire promotion of Dean
Malenkos would get boring fast, but so would an
entire
promotion built of Kevin Nash
clones.
People that perpetuate the "crusierweights are nothing but
a novelty" myth are the reason we’re not seeing
Tazz
wrestle.
Silly
Idea #2: The only good matches are those involving lesbian
sex.
Okay, so Pro Wrestling has never exactly been Shakespeare In The
Park, but I for one refuse to allow the sport to be hijacked by
a bunch of pimply 14 year old virgins with room-temperature
I.Q.s.
I’ve seen
people
say things like "The only good part of the Kurt
Angle and That Other
Guy
match at the Royal Rumble
was
the Trish/Steph
catfight."
Or "Trish wasn't on Smackdown, so it sucked". To those
people, I can only say: Why the hell don’t you just con
your
older brother into buying you a copy of Hustler, shoplift a
gallon
of hand lotion and lock yourself in the basement till puberty
passes?
Seriously kids, quit stinking up Wrestling for the rest of
us. P.S.,
Limp Bizkit sucks, and Emenim is the Vanilla Ice of his
generation.
Please send your poorly spelled, sporadically punctuated flames
to biteme@geekboy.com.
Thank you for your support. Oh, and DO try to be original;
there's
nothing sadder than checking my mail only to find that some
illiterate
high schooler has worked up the courage to send me an anonyomous
flame, and the best they can come up with is "F**K
YOU."
There, I feel SO much
better. =)
Not a lot of time
this week, but I’ll sneak in a few letters
From
The Mailbag
Regarding
Steph’s
Hubby putting Angle, Jericho and Benoit Over, Frankp661
writes:
HHH [he said it, not me] didnt put them over,
putting
them over means jobbing to them. Hemsley won all those
matches.
"Jobbing"
is not the same as "putting someone over". If it were,
then Kaientai would have the
entire WWF roster over. Putting someone over means giving
them credibility
with the fans. As Foley
noted,
you can job to someone and still make them look like a loser.
Hell,
you can utterly SQUASH someone, then hit them with a chair
for the
DQ, and technically you’ve "jobbed" to
them.
John Roger
Engebreth
writes:
Y-pac- All
im gonna say is that your so completely right I really don't need
to say anything.
Then why did
you?
Kiddng.
Just kidding. =) I appreciate the support.
Cyberspawn310
writes:
Why
don’t
you like Steve Austin. He kickz @$$!
The main thing
I have
against Austin is that his fans use phrases like "he kickz
@$$!
Al Snow’s
Only
Fan writes:
Did
you REALLY have 53 registered kills in the Gulf War?
No. Where do you
people read this stuff?
Nearly everyone
writes:
You should
write about (insert lame Smark topic here).
Actually, I’d
really like to get AWAY from the Smark Bashing that I usually
engage
in. Smarks are way too easy of a target, and I like a little
challenge
in my life.
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