|
/wrestling |
|
|
/wrestling |
WCW Bash at the Beach |
|
MainBLAH |
Before I begin, just let me say thank you to the God of cable descramblers.
Without you I am nothing, I am weak. With you I am righteoues, and KNOW I am
better than the 73 suckers who actually paid for tonights sorry excuse for a
PPV. 30 times better to be exact... Now on with the review! Mene Gene shills again, first thing, at a PPV. Call me crazy but I'd kinda like to see a match when the show comes on, instead of having Gene Mean the liver spot machine beg us to call his hotline, that's filled with vauge innuendo, and week old rumors. The Shat vs. Disco-You know I used to really dig Disco and I thought he was really starting to make some waves into the upper escelon of misused guys. I guess he didn't toss the right salad or something because the Shat wins, using...HIS SHOE!!! Yawn. Rick steiner vs. Van Homo- Why is Van Homo getting a title shot? This shoulda been Disco, or Booker T, or anyone who can actually carry a match with Steiner, whose age is really showing. Pathetic. Rick wins with the BuffBuster. Dean malenko vs. David Flair-I'm getting a big kick out of this angle and my only complaint with this match was the shitty camrea work that didn't allow me to see the spinebuster Arn delivered on the ref. Markout city for that one. Anyhoo, Flair wins in a match so bad it was good. Junkyard match- This was a poorly concieved spotfest that found a gaggle of losers calling thier spots directly on camera and the lackluster return of the impotent Public Enema. Fit Finley wins after narrowly(HA!) escaping a car that was heading toward the crusher. Not Blackwell you idiot. La Parka should have won this one hands down, kids. And if you're going to have Jimmy Hart in the middle of the battle zone, do us a favor and throw a car on top of him or something. The Rednecks vs. The Heatkillers-Fuck Konnan, fuck Rey, fuck hooty hoo, BA, swool, chazz, 4by4, master p, etc....This dud of a match bored me to tears. If it looks like shit and smells like shit it must be shit, right? WCW is so fucking retarded. Spool and rey win after some contrived gangsta beat downs on henning and crew. rey, put the mask and tights back on. You're on the bad side of suck. Piper vs. Buff- This one was an absolute masterpiece, and a classic for all time. Buff and Piper have captured the fans of WCW in what must have been the most emotionally stirring and captivating bout ever seen on a WCW broadcast. So many times I rose to my feet anticipating the end! Those of you in attendance should be grateful for what you have witnessed tonight, and I, for one, am extremly jealous of you. Now excuse me while I go slit my fucking wrists. Buff wins after his painfully stupid finisher, and manages to get a three count in a boxing match. Where the hell were you, Bob Orton? Triad vs. Vanilla Leather Boys-THIS was a good match but after the jobbing the triad did last week, the outcome was inevitable. DDP makes the pin, and beats the hell outta Kanyon for spilling his coke about the ring. Nash/Stingvs. Sid/Savage- New Champ!!! Yawn. Savage is so not over it hurts. why give him the belt? Even Sid, who can't wrestle worth a damn, gets a pretty good ovation, but savage is just so played out. And I was really confused during the match, considering the anyone can pin Nash deal. No hummer driver either. But at least the wrestling was shitty! So BATB blew and blew and blew again. If you paid for it you're a friggin moron, hell if you watched it you're a friggin moron, and I'll see you at the meetings. XStrength rec.sport.pro-wrestling Subject yourself to r.s.p-w Mail the author |
BLAH |
Main |
||