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BLAH

THE LIST

I figure, if you're gonna go out, go out with a bang:

The List presents...Wrestling Millionaire! Play at home, play against your friends, or just play with yourself. Remember, there are no correct answers, except D.

For $100...

Which of the following is NOT a member of Juggalo Champions--t Wrestling?
A. Violent J.
B. Shaggy 2 Dope.
C. The Great Muta.
D. Someone who gets a crowd reaction.

For $200...

Which gimmick was NOT created by the elite Patterson-McMahon booking team of the late 80's-early 90s WWF?
A. Bastion Booger.
B. Rad Radford.
C. Friar Ferguson.
D. Corporal Cajun.

For $300...

Which of the following did Roddy Piper reference in his first-ever interview?

A. The Battle of Hastings.
B. Thomas Edison's invention of the light bulb.
C. The escapades of a young Rock Hudson.
D. The birth of Bob Dole.

For $500...

Who is the highest-ranking individual in World Championship Wrestling?
A. Turner bureaucrat Brad Siegel.
B. Creative Director Vince Russo.
C. Executive consultant Eric Bischoff.
D. General Rection.

For $1000....

What is the best way to describe Mike Awesome's current gimmick?
A. "Career Killer"
B. "Fat Chick Thriller"
C. "70s Icon"
D. "Misused"

For $2000...

What is the significance of the following list of names: Saturn, Malenko, Gurrero, Benoit?
A. Formed the original "Radicalz".
B. Rumored as a possible Four Horseman spinoff named "The Apocalypse".
C. Jumped WCW during the Sullivan regime.
D. Represent lineage of WWF heavyweight title holders in most internet fans' pipe dreams.

For $4000...

Which is the most dangerous obstacle to ECW's continued success?
A. Potential injuries to top performers.
B. Lack of national TV exposure.
C. Locker room revolt over late paychecks.
D. Undercover police officer who checks for pot AND work visas.

For $8000...

Which statement best fits the definition of "false advertising"?
A. "Smoking is not addictive"
B. "Our tires are safe"
C. "You may have already won $10 million"
D. "We're Natural Born Thrillers"

For $16000...

Who is currently receiving the biggest push in World Championship Wrestling?
A. Multiple-time WCW Champion Jeff Jarrett.
B. Popular former WCW Champion Booker T.
C. Extremely popular former WCW Champion Bill Goldberg.
D. Miss Hancock's unborn child.

For $32000...

Who are the top three most popular WWF superstars?
A. Triple H, The Rock, Chris Jericho.
B. Triple H, The Rock, Kurt Angle.
C. The Undertaker, The Rock, Steve Austin.
D. The Rock, The Rock's T-Shirt, The Rock's dressing room nameplate.

For $64000...

Which is the most devastating finishing move in professional wrestling?
A. Sting's "Scorpion Deathlock".
B. Bill Goldberg's "Jackhammer".
C. Chris Benoit's "Crippler Crossface".
D. Stephanie McMahon's "15-minute screeching interview".

For $125000...

What is the best way for WCW to differentiate its product from the WWF's?
A. Move toward a wrestling-oriented television product.
B. Create more "reality-based" angles.
C. Appeal to a younger demographic with cartoonish heroes and villians.
D. Hold a disrupted wedding, run a USA-vs.-Canada angle, give Bret Hart time to rant against Vince McMahon and repackage Dustin Rhodes as a painted psudo-homosexual.

For $250000...

Which match would draw the highest ratings?

A. Triple H vs. The Rock (USA Network).
B. Bill Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash (TNT).
C. Justin Credible vs. Rob Van Dam (TNN).
D. Lita vs. Trish Stratus vs. Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley vs. Terri Runnels vs. The Cat battle royal (Spice Channel).

For $500000...

Which is the most dangerous type of wrestling contest?
A. Scaffold match.
B. Steel Cage match.
C. "Lion's Den" match.
D. "Match vs. Ahmed Johnson" match.

Finally, for the million...

Complete the following analogy--Adam : Apple ::
A. Eve : Apple
B. Homer : Donut
C. Cookie Monster : Cookie
D. Madden : All


Snappy Closer--Top 5 reasons that "The List" must be stopped:
5. Author must devote full mental capacity to New York senate campaign.
4. Heavy editing and relentless nitpicking from CRZ make it nearly impossible to post without nervous breakdown.
3. Allows more time to start OWF feud with that Burning Hammer guy.
2. Frees calendar for upcoming "WD across America" book signing and speech tour.
1. Lists beginning to lose steam and resort to cheapshots near the end/RUSSO SUCKS! (tie)

E-mail encouraged, plugs appreciated, "please-don't-go's" accepted with sadness and acknowledged, Slash rules, etc., etc., etc.

Later.

WD

WD
[slash] wrestling

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Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission