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Lief Erik Watts

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RANDOM RAMBLINGS

To the dismay of many... some... a few... someone, I'm sure... I have returned to expound my personal opinions about the greatest non-sport in on earth, that little thing we call rasslin'.

I'd like to be able to do a CRZish "I get letters" thing to open up the second installment of this column, but I got... one e-mail. Wow, my cheap-heat tactics appeared to have worked. Har har.

So, since I have nothing but my opinions to spew about, I guess I will now begin.

  • There will be no Nitro bashing this time. Mainly because I only saw part of the first hour. Sure, based on that first hour, I could rant about how Hogan is making an already terrible product worse. Or I could talk about how the lack of historical recognition shown by pairing Sting and Hogan is sickening. I could also talk about how Hogan is trying to make himself seem over by surrounding himself with the two most popular WCW faces, Sting and Goldberg. I could talk about how Nash is booking the company as though he really is a WWF mole. Or I could say that no matter how cool Rey Jr's in-ring skills are, the fact that he wouldn't lay down for Vampiro was glaringly obvious. Just as it was in Konnan's case in the previous two weeks. Sure, I could talk about egos destroying the company, but I won't, since I didn't see the other two hours.

  • I will, however, say that Vampiro is one cool son of a bitch. Its a shame they stuck him with ICP, though.

  • After watching Off The Record with Vince, and then with Vince and Linda, I have to say that no matter how shrewd he is, and no matter what he's done for wrestling, he's still slimy. I don't mean just a little. I mean to the extent that I have to wonder if he'd shrivel up and die if you poured salt on him.

  • Linda McMahon seems to be pretty cool, but I got the impression that some of the above mentioned slime rubbed off on her.

  • Did anyone else do the quick math on Vince and Linda's marriage? They married when she was 16. They started dating when she was 13 and he was 16. Maybe its just me, but when I was 16, it made me feel guilty to even look at a 13 year old.

  • I am looking forward to the episode of Off the Record with Shane and Stephanie. That could be as much to do with her looks as anything else, though. And hey, she's not just good looking, she's rich, too.

  • I haven't heard anyone mention this yet, but wasn't the "fan" that attacked Ivory the same plant as last time, just with orangish hair this time?

  • Speaking of audience plants, they also have had Vic Grimes hop out of the crowd to attack people. And they wonder why real fans hop into the ring?

  • So, now the Ministry is disbanded. Does that mean that Faarooq and Bradshaw can stop acting like satanists? Maybe they won't. I heard that Faarooq likes having those symbols painted on his chest. It tickles.

  • As I was going to bed last night, I turned on my TV, and Extra! happened to be on. In case you didn't see it, it featured Rena "I'm a Cheap Whore" Mero. Anyway, my point is that at one point the reporter said "She might have settled with the WWF for millions, but what will it cost her?" So, if I understand correctly, she led them to believe she got some cash from Titan. Something tells me she didn't recieve anything more than the remains of she and Mark's contracts after they were fed through a paper shredder.

  • Hey, WWF... can we have at least ONE natural pair o' pups? Silicon is for computer parts, silly rabbit.

  • How did Kane get over so huge all the sudden? At first I chalked it up to his alliance with X-Pac. But now I think he's transceded X-Pac. I thought his little "speech" the other night was cool, too.

  • Speaking of Kane's speech, what ever happened to kayfabe? A few years ago, did you ever hear a wrester referred to by his real name?

  • That right there shows the difference between WCW and WWF. WWF allows X-Pac to be called Sean. WCW brought Robert Wuhl on the show and had him play the character of Arliss.

    I could go on and on, but really, I need to save some material for next time.

    This column has been brought to you CHEAP HEAT FREE. I hope my one fan is happy now.

    Lief Erik Watts
    freelance

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    Guest column text copyright (C) 1999 by the individual author and used with permission