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/wrestling /guests /Watts |
| Guest Columns | Lief Erik Watts |
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BULLET POINTS Hello. My name is Lief Erik Watts, and I will be expunging my opinions on you for a few minutes. And yes, that is my real name. No, I am not related in any fashion to the WCW jobber. - So WCW decided to kill the Hummer angle. Nice. That's a lot of WCW's problem. They expect us to clear our own memories on their command. If Bischoff had his way, we'd all be saying "Hummer angle? What Hummer angle?" right about now. - Why is Fit Finlay teaming with two English guys? If it were real life, they'd likely be shooting at each other. And going back two or three years, weren't Finlay and Regal in a nasty feud that was never resolved? "War between Northern Ireland and England? What war?" - Oh, and one last thing about the Hummer. Some people have been bagging on Tony Schiavone because he keeps saying "Hummer" instead of "Humvee." Well, this may be the only time I ever stand up for that worthless sack of lard, but he is technically correct. The military vehicle is named "Humvee." The street legal, public version was dubbed "Hummer" by the manufacturer. I think its AMC or something like that, but don't quote me on that part. All I know is that Tony is, for once, correct. But he still sucks. - Sean Shannon is a big, fat bitch. Hey Sean... when was "nWWWo" ever funny? - Bob Ryder is an even bigger bitch. Wait... will I get sued for using his name? Fuck it. Who cares? He's still a bitch. - Have you ever noticed that the people who write in to defend WCW are typically morons? Just take a look at the letter's on CRZ's Letters section. These kids seem mostly illiterate. Do you think that's at all a coincidence? No. Hell, anyone who could sit through 3 hours of Nitro has to be a little short in intelligence. So what does that say about people that ENJOY it? - nWWWo... now THAT'S some good humor. Har har. So original. Sean's a bitch. - I hate my cable company. Thanks to them, I can't see the ECW PPV. Unless you subscribe to their over-priced digital service, you have no access to PPV. Stupid bitches. Sounds like a pretty good card. - Everywhere you look, people are talking about how Fully Loaded will be the last time we ever see one of two things: Austin as champion, or Vince McMahon on TV. Come on people. You're being suckers. For one, I don't recall Vince ever saying that he wouldn't appear on TV. He said that he wouldn't get involved with Austin's matches anymore. Secondly, Austin never did sign that contract. And most importantly, how many times has Austin already had his last shot at the title he keeps winning? - Want proof of Vince's genius? He got Bob Holly over. That's no small feat. In fact, even I like what they've done with him. Its some good stuff. You know what would happen if Bob Holly was in WCW? Well, he'd be on the undercard of Worldwide against other third-rate jobbers. Until one night when he suddenly shows up on Nitro, then gets booked on the next PPV. - Want proof of Vince's stupidity? He gave Midian the Euro title. Why unretire it just to give it to that worthless piece of crap? Why is it called the European Chanpionship anyway? Who was the last European to hold it? Does WWF even have any Europeans on their roster? - Did I mention that Sean Shannon is a bitch? - KISS is going to be on Nitro? If you ask me, its a good move. Those guys fit right along with the elderly uppercard in WCW. Hogan can trade stories about the 60's with Gene Simmons. Ever wonder why KISS went back to wearing make-up? Easy. To cover up all the wrinkles. (Yes, that was lame. But it had to be said. I'm a martyr.) - I'd bet my life savings that WCW would have never gone within 50 miles of ICP if they hadn't been with the WWF previously. Family entertainment? Listen to ICP's CD's, Eric. (Safe bet anyway, since my life savings is about 50 cents. What can I say? I just had to buy a new car last week.) - If wrestling isn't a sport, and ESPN refuses to recognise it as a sport, then why did ESPN.com have a story about Jesse reffing at Summerslam? Why did they have that crappy Outside the Lines about wrestling, for that matter? Next thing you know, ESPN Classic will be trying to cash in by showing old wrestling matches. - Speaking of Ventura, I think that was the dumbest move he's ever made. Not because of his political career or anything like that. Just because it contradicted everything he's said about wrestling over the last few years. - You know what pisses me off the most about WCW? They don't give a rat's ass what the fans want. They prove that week after week. Its almost as if they do it on purpose. How can they not be? Well, enough of my spouting for now. See you around, or not. Lief Erik Watts freelance Mail the Author |
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