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Justin Transue

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ALL IN A DAY'S WORKRATE
Big 3 Roster Comparisons, Day 1

Hello, I am back after a weekend of painting and priming my room. Hopefully you all had fun. Within the following days I am going to compare rosters of the BIG 3 starting with the WWF, with a final analysis on each (by the way, I am NOT analyzing the women). Before we get started i'd like to plug a fellow columnist Gregg Mixdorf. Go check out his 4.2.2k 'Ramblings', it was a great column that I realte to completely, good work by Gregg and a great read! Now these rosters are listed straight off the official homepages AND i'll add people that maybe got left off or forgotten. This has taken a lot of spare time from the past 2 days so I hope you enjoy reading it.

So......

WWF

Acolytes: To be honest I love these guys. At first with Jackyl I hated them, then with 'Taker I loved them, then as faces I didn't like them, THEN they grew on me again. BUT if this team didn't have little skits and a good amount of mic time, I think they would have burned out a long time ago. Bradshaw is the second best drunk redneck in the business and Faarooq has the voice of a really pissed off Barry White. Who can forget (if you saw it) when Bradshaw got jumped and beat down by Kaientai at the begining of SNHeat a few months ago and Faarooq spent the rest of the show making fun of him?!?!? That, to the day is too funny. I, also, enjoy the 'aPa' (two little 'a's obe big 'P'!) Anyway, this team is long overdue of a new tag title run, which I thought they would get at the RR.

Al Snow: Heres a guy that is so close to main event but probably will never get there. The head gimmick got him over, and it's the head gimmick that'll keep him down. I say let him hold the IC title for 1 good 3-4 months though. I would say 2 months but this guy got Steve Blackman over!!! Props, no-one else had a chance in hell at doing that. At least he isn't a New Rocker anymore....

Big Show: WELLLLLLLL, he's big goofball for life, yeaaah. I DON'T CARE!! I try so hard to be impressed by his size but honestly I don't give a crap. He didn't earn his title run by any means. The way he was introduced to the WWF fans, a week short of exactly a year ago, I thought this guy would be a major force....good thing I din't bet on it. His mic skills are better than average and he IS one huge S.O.B. but his ring skills really are just laughable, almost as bad as his alleged 'father's (remember that??) skills were.

Billy Gunn: This guy makes me REALLY mad. Back when the outlaws first started and he broke off of being "Rockabilly" until the middle of his singles push, I was a major Billy Gunn mark.....then he stopped being "Bad Ass" and started being "Mr. Ass", then he stopped giving a full effort, then he started acting like a prima donna, then I gave up, and walked away pouting. Someday when he realizes he is strip teasing for a mainly male audience and becomes less loved by marks, maybe he'll be a "Bad Ass" and give out a good match or two again. Until then, i'll be over here pouting.

Big Boss Man: This guy plays an evil sonofabitch extremely well AND he has lost a lot of weight since his Cobb County Correctional days. Unfortunately, he still can't wrestle and he played a heel SO well that people legitamitely hate this guys guts and will for a long time. Sucks in the ring though so I like what they are doing by making him a mentor to Prince Albert.

Blue Meanie: I don't like him. He can't wrestle and fat men doing moonsaults has been done before.

Brooklyn Brawler: HUH? This guy was the top-dogg jobber when I was REAL young...he still works for them??? Anyway, he gets bonus points for being a guy that makes me feel all sentimental. Remember his legendary feud with the Red Rooster?? What do you mean 'no'???

British Bulldog: He has my respect because of his past. But as far as the present....he still has my respect. He is a talented veteran, and no doubt a ring general and locker room leader. This guy contributed a lot in his career...then they gave him the Posse in return.

Chris Jericho: Ready for some schilling? I hope so. Chris Jericho is the future of the WWF, he is destined to be a multitime world champion and everyone seems to know it. This guy gets a HUGE pop! The reason I bring that up is that he spent his first few months with the Fink and Curtis Hughes, doing jobs left and right.....but yet he still got majorly over. This guys rules 6 ways from Sunday. I don't have anything constructive to say, so since I can't stop schilling over Y2J i'll go on to....

Christian: I like this guy. Everyone, corwd marks or internet marks, seem to dislike him and have something bad to say but I think he is a very talented young man with a semi-bright future. Too bad he is so small, as if he was bigger I could see him hiolding the IC title. By the way, his theme song rocks!

Chyna: I know I said I wouldn't review women, but this is a 2time IC champion. She is barely average in the ring, and below average on a mic, but she is a true icon these days and I respect her. I may not be a fan, but she is repected. BUT no other women should EVER get as successful in a male division as she did again. She should be the one and only, it'll only add to her legend, and make male pigs lie me (joking) happy.

Crash Holly: This guy is really talented and if the WWF does indeed start a competitive light-heavyweight division like they are rumored to, this guys IMO should be the inaugural champ. I know you guys and girls are thinking I am crazy right about now, but watch this guy in a singles match, he is spectacular, and I don't think Rocky was joking at the Royal Rumble when he proclaimed his fear of good ol' Crash. I expect to get hate mail for schilling so hard over Crash Holly but oh well....

D'Lo Brown: Damn the man. No, not D'Lo! The bookers for keeping down true talent. I am not trying to start a race war or anything but how come D'Lo and Booker T. are 2 of the most talented and most over wrestlers in their promotions, yet neither EVER gets a hard push??? Bullshit. D'Lo's series with x-pac in '98 is one of my ALL-TIME favorite feuds and it's a damned shame he where he is. By the way though, STOP doing that leg drop and telling people they suck EVERY match!! It gets tiresome, think of more material or spred it out better.

Droz: He was about to get a nice push. He had talent. He had a pretty cool look. Get well soon. We miss ya.

The (Damn) Dudley Boyz: Buh Buh and D-Von are great. They have all the qualifications of tag team champions. I kiss their ass in the regular columns enough so I won't here. As far as critisism, ummmmmm, welllll, those glasses suck.

Edge: Future IC champ. This guy is waaaay over-rated. He is talented, don't get me wrong, but he isn't AS talented as he is hyped up to be.

Gangrel: I used to like him. Then Edge and Chris left him. He lost his angle, he lost his push, and from the looks of his matches he lost giving a shit. Used to be really good, now he sucks. In the 80s WWF this guy would have feuded over a major title though.

Godfather: BRING BACK PAPA SHANGO!! Let's keep this breif; GF sucks in the ring possibly the worst wrestler in WWF, I hate him, I ahte him, I hate him. Bring back Papa Shango or just go away.

Hardcore Holly: This guy is one of my favs, easily. Remember last Valentines day when he and Al Snow fought into the Mississippi river?? Or last summer when he was the 'Big Shot' who iked to pick on Kane?? Or when he told Rikishi his ass had more dimples then a golf ball?? Or when he told Chyna thatwhen they weight tested her to be a superheavyweight that the 200lbs of silicone(sp?) in her chest didn't count?? Or when he won the Hardcore title at Wretlemania last year? Or last week when he couldn't decide if losing to Chyna and Y2J was worse or if accidentally asking his cousin for advice was worse?? This guy is the shit. In the ring, on the mic, he deserves was more than he has, probably more than he'll ever get. I love him, keep up the good work, 'Sparky'.

Hardy Boyz: "B-b-b-baby, you just ain't seen nothing yet." Ok Thomas, I admit Jeff at his age is better than HBK was at 23, BUT just barely!! (Note to readers: disregard the previous sentence, it's an inside thing). I like these guys enough to be the only tag team I give individual revies to.

Matt Hardy: Ready for the countdown??? S....U....R....G....E....SURGE!!! Matt Hardy brings high level of energy every time in the ring. The older Hardy has a variety of exciting moves, and if you've ever seen some OMEGA tapes it seems that he is holding something back. he has much more than we've seen so far, and I don't know if he is holding back so that he can stay fresh for a long period of time or what, but this guy is destined for greatness, IF he wants to. He himself will tell you that Jeff is the best wrestler he has ever seen and personally I have to wonder if his respect and love for his brother will hold him back.

Jeff Hardy: Spine of steel. This guy will fly doing flips off of and onto seemingly ANYTHING. In the indy scene he had sort of a Great Muta/Keiji Muto gimmick, and not to ruin it in case he does it in the future but(I AM about to though so just in case he does you have been warned this is a POTENTIAL SPOILER!!!) He played a character called 'Willow the Whisp' who was evil, crazy, and one of the coolest, IMO, characters I have ever been witness to. There is a match he had in the indies at a fair where the crazy fuck did a (I think its a "Halo Plancha") sprinting front flip OFF A DAMNED ROOF INTO A RING!!!! WHOA!! Anyway, I hope that maybe in about 2-3 years that Willow shows up in WWF and feuds over the world title. If you ever see an indy tape with a Willow th Whisp match on it, BUY!! You won't be disapointed.

Headbangers: They sucked when they were popular, and they suck now. Only thing I like is that Mosh/Chaz does the 'Burning Hammer' which is one of the coolest moves around. 'Nuff said.

Kaientai: Taka Michinokou(sp) is a lightweight God. Watch a tape of him in a Japanese match. Funaki is a good worker, nothing more.

Kane: Until Mike "he definitly is" Awesome got here, Kane was the premier North American big-man. When he has a high caliber opponent in the ring he seems to put out an equal or better effort than his opponent, but when he is in there with lower card opponents he seemsto do only his highspots and leave the content of the match to the other guy. Kane still has potential to be or be better than...Awesome

Ken Shamrock: Not around. When he is he boosts the high/midcard greatly. With the WCW4 coming in during his absence he may lose his spot on the card.

Kurt Angle: "How can you boo a true American hero?" Answer: I can't. Kurt Angle has proven that the year or more he spent working house shows and dark matches to hone his skills paid off. He is golden on the mic and (obviously) as a wrestler. I don't know how long his type of gimmick can last but i'mm willing to bet that his next gimmick will be just as or more successful. Don't forget people, try your hardest to be like Angle and practice your 3 "I"s.

Legion of Doom: Once again...they still work here? They are the best tag team in history, truly dominating for a period of YEARS. Now they are washed up. No matter everyone knows who the baddest team ever to come to their town was. L-O-D, L-O-D, L-O-D!!

Mankind: The Hardcore Legend himself. He is a great wrestler. He had (has) a storied career. He is a great family man. He is Mick Foley. Read his book and you'll know my thoughts and feelings on this living legend. Pay attention to him while you can because, sob sob, he can't wrestle much longer.

Mean Street Posse: The Gas Mask that Pete does would be one of the coolest moves if it wasn't done so sloppily and weakly. Joey Abs at one point in time was a fucking monster, almost comparable to Rhino of ECW. Now.....well, their acitons speak louder than my words. It's a shame about Joey, though.

Mideon: To quote one of the best columnists on the net (if not THE best), John C. "Mideon=Ratings". Its SO true.

Prince Albert: Ch,ch,ch,CHIA! This guy is hard to look at from behind. In all seriousness though, I think this guy deserves every bit and more of the push he is getting. He oozes big man talent like Razor oozed Machismo. Good luck.

Rikishi: Rags to riches. He is ok in the ring but his main event push won't last. Only so much dancing and big-ass shots and jokes can betaken for so long.

Road Dogg: Around this time last year he was one of the 3 or 5 most over people in the WWF. Now even the marks are tiring of his skit. A few words to the d-o-double G: You can't wrestle so you better put that thinking cap on for some new material before you and Buzzkill are BOTH jobless.

'The Rock' Rocky Miavia: I still refer to him as Rocky Maivia. Just thought i'd say that. Hmmm, I have very mixed feelings on this guy. He will take lots of tough moves and bumps, props. He CAN be original and when he is hes usually hilarious, props. He stopped using his best move "The Maivia Hurricane", shits. He seems to happy when he arrives from town to town and feels the need to express it the same way every time, shits. He is an ok worker, an almost perfect mic worker, and the fans cream their pants for him. I, on the other hand, consider him barely more entertaining than most midcarders, and less than some. Rocky, oh Rocky, you are a walking paradox to me. By the way he is also the leading cantidate for being the "Ultimate Warrior" of the curretn times if you get what I mean.

Sexual Chocolate: You suck, your angles suck, lose some weight and stop screwing 200 year old women on national tv. Just think they put this guy over the Rock a little over a year ago, how times change.

Shane McMahon: I know among the elitist smart marks it's cool to say that Shane O'Mac is the shits in the ring. Truth be told he's worthy of a spot on the upper midcard, he puts on stellar matches and is a fearless(almost) bumper, remember when Triple H threw his ass off the entry stage?? THAT was nasty. I expect hate mail for these comments, so bring it on, I stand by my opinions.

Shawn Micheals: The best wrestler of the 90s and maybe ever. BUT he doesn't wrestle anymore. Still mages to get himself suspendedd as always. By the way: "nWo was for a while, HBK is 4 life!!!!!!"

Steve Austin: Lets break it down. He is the best brawler I have EVER seen(maybe thats just me though). He used to be a great mat worker/technical guy. He is gold on the mic, and I will never tire of his antics, ESPECIALLY if he returns as a heel. And thats the bottomline.....

Steve Blackman: This guy wears Green Bay Packer cheese hats.

Stevie Richards: I am no liar, I have seen maybe 2 Stevie matches so I won't mention his ring work. BUT I am probably the only guy on the planet who DETESTS his imitating gimmick, get a life! I liked him most when he was Foley's little buddy. Oh, and stop doing the superkick as a finisher! That move as a finish has been retired to the Pro Wrestling Hall of Fame by a certain Icon.

Tazz: ECW he ruled, WWF he flounders. You are not a badass when you lose ALL the time. Besides his debut he hasn't won yet. Hopefuly, like the Dudleys, he will eventually find his niche in WWF. Hopefully it will be in the main event because he is spectaular in a ring.

Test: Mini-me Kevin Nash. I like this guy but the less they use him the less interest in him I have. He is destined for the World title though, it is only a matter of time. Sorry I can't give any further insight but I am starting to get tired.

Tiger Ali Singh: Umm, no job=no comment.

Too Cool: These guys are great. I hear Brian Christopher is a dick in real life but no matter, he is a great wrestler. Scotty 2 Hotty is an even better wrestler and I love watching him work, but sadly I feel both these guys are missing something and will never make a real impact.

Triple H: He is the Game. He is also tied with Jericho for being my fav WWF wrassler. He has worked his way slowly up the ladder to become a dominant WWF champ. He works his fucking ass off to the best of his abilities and he seems like a real great guy in real life. I can't schill for this guy enough. Heres to hoing that he keeps the title at Wrestlemania 2000, he deserves it.

Undertaker: I wish he wasn't hurt. This guy is, VERY arguably, the best big-man the sport HAS EVER or WILL EVER see. He is the WWFs locker room leader. And what Mick Foley is to hardcore and hard work, the 'taker is to big guys. He definitly has lost a few steps, but in his prime he was one of the most exciting stars to ever step inside a wrestling ring.

Val Venis: Potential. Failed. European tile. Doom.

Viscera: Where's 'Mo'? He lost his mission with out him, and they barely had one to begin with. He's ok for being the size of the marshmellow man from Ghostbusters I guess.

X-Pac: He wins my award for THE MOST overrated wrestler. I first saw him in GWF and he was extrordinary back then and a true innovator to the American scene, now, 2 broken fuckin necks(!) later, he is the shits. He has a job based on reputation and respect. I will admit though, Dean Malenko proved he still has some good matches in him. But since him and D'Lo parted ways they both started to lose it.

Not listed at WWF.COM:

Chris Benoit: The Crippler is a machine and if he learns to talk he is a multi time future WWF champion, shit he may just be that ANYWAY. My fav WCW worker has come to the promised land and I KNOW he won't let us down.

Eddy Guerero: My fav time with Eddy was when he was fucking with Chavo, making Chavie wear the "Eddy G is my favorite wrestler" shirt. That was hilarious. He is a great worker, and almost average on the mic. Only complaint about him from me is that he's got that WCW injury proneness(is 'proneness' a word?). Get well soon and stay well Eddy.

Dean Malenko: If champions were based solely on their techinical ability, this guy would be in the middle of a 10 year title reign. He is maybe the best technician I have ever seen (agian maybe thats just me) and I LOVE watching him wrestle. If I owned a fed this guy would never have to look for work again, i'd give him the bucks and never let him go.

Perry Saturn: I admit it, I am a Saturn mark. I used to hate him, but the guy grew on me real fast. He has a cool look and TONS of potential.

FINAL ANALYSIS: You can't touch the WWF for years to come. They have almost every major player in the US. If they somehow got Golberg and my hook-up Scott Steiner WCW would have to close up shop. They now have the top talkers, the top workrates(I love it), the top matworkers, the top match psychologists(sp), and the biggest names. There is no chance in hell that the WWF will lose the ratings war for a MINMUM of 5 years. By the way, if Vinny Mac comes through, which he usually does, WRESTLEMANIA 2000 could be the best PPV ever aired! No joke. I'd give examples but i'm tired and my hands hurt from typing.

WHEW!!!! That was a mouthful and more. PLEASE write back to me!!! I put in almost 6-7 hours writing this and i'd like for it not to go unappreciated and if does go unappreciated just let me know its being read. CRITICIZE ME!! PRAISE ME!!! JUST WRITE ME!!!! I'll put out WCWs part in the next day or so. Let me know what ya think.

Write me at kingsize@mailcity.com .

Until we meet again.......

Justin Transue
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