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Guest Columns | Justin Transue |
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ALL IN A DAY'S WORKRATE Review of "WWF SmackDown!" Hey, hey. Sorry that there was no Tuesday review this week but I was busy playing the 'cause for this column, WWF Smackdown!. It seems that I am both desperate for a new WWF videogame and therefore unable to take this game back, and that THQ's workrate went from being Misawa-like for "Wrestlemania 2000" for N64 to being Rocky-like(not Balboa, MAIVIA) for us unlucky playstation owners that for once would like a wrestling game like those N64 jerks get. Anyhow, let's break this suminabitch down. Graphics: All I hear is, and thought that I knew, is that THQ does graphics for wrestling games, 10x better than we had gotten from Acclaim...well they jipped us this time. This game completely pales in comparison to the graphical beauty known as "Wrestlemania 2000". I have been using HHH and half the time he is either facing the wrong way with his neck unnaturally bent around to look at my opponent, or he is doing the forward and sideways moonwalk, in real life that moonwalk may be hella cool, but please leave it out my videogames. Also when the game does a quick "Cut Angle" it comes back to normal view VERY awkwardly. I'll slam Matt Hardy in one corner in a quick "Cut angle" and then when the camera pans out again will be on the other side of the ring walking aound....WTF?? The entrance movies, although they look great its kinda cheesy. I am kinda dissapointed with the entrances, I have come to expect much more.Out of 5 Stars: ***
Sound: The themes sound great. After all this is Sony
CD quality sound, not cartridge based MIDI. There is
no actual commentary in the game though and thats
something THQ is notorious for not doing. The intro
song of Smackdown! has always been kinda shitty in my
opinion and it got on my nerves realy quick during the
game. During the actual game play there are some
alright songs, but none that make you wanna kick you
opponrnts ass any more than normal.
Control: This is my BIGGEST beef. Everyone knows THQ
control is superb right? Once again, they pee on
playstation owners because this is horrid. First off
WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I PICK UP A WEAPON??? I have been
playing videogames longer than I can remember and I
tried EVERY DAMN button scheme and combonation I could
think of.....to no avail! Secondly this whole 'you do
stronger moves when the opponent is groggy' shit is
just that, shit. First off the comp. rarely gets
groggy even when you've been knockin' his candy ass
around for the most part of a match! Secondly, how
come the computer can a finisher just about whenever
they please? Stupid.
Create-a-player: This is the WORST create-a-player I
have ever seen. All the options are goofy as hell, the
finishers are fucking queer. Mine is a Sambo Slam,
which I admit is one of my fav. moves in true life but
in a video game i'd like to kick a little more ass.
How come WM2k had that nifty preview thing for
everything under the sun, and we don't get it? If we
do get one,I couldn't figure out how to get it. How
come, they had a billion more moves? How come this
game ABSOLUTELY SUCKS? Sorry, that was bulding up for
a while. I do like how you get to pick the type of
matches you are good at, and your characters logic,
grappling style, and point variant thing for the
different skill areas. Though they will need some fine
tuning they were well done.
Ingenuity: THIS is the one thing that keeps me from
trading this game in. This game really does bring a
lot of new options and ideas to the table that were
never before seen. The "I Quit" match where you have
to pick up a mic and put in your opp.'s face and
manually ask him if he quits is a hella cool
idea(unfortunately, they DONT TELL US HOW TO PICK
ANYTHING UP!). The "Guest Referee" is a GREAT idea
too, and since, I own a multi-tap I see a lot of
fights starting over this. the ref can either pick a
fight with the wrestlers or he can count fast, slow,
or not at all; it's up to him.The career mode is cool
too. So far in preseason, the 8th ranked Ken Shamrock
kicked my 37th ranked ass on my first Raw is War
appearance of my try-out. Then backstage he gave me
some advice on how not to be such a pussy in the ring,
or something to that effect. It really is quite cool
and I can't wait to have a good 10-15 year career.
Random Nitpicking: In the options you have a choice
of K.O. and Submission being on or off. Personally I
love submissions, but seeing how this is wrestling not
boxing, I hate knockouts. So I honestly just turn them
both off. You get knocked out SOOOOOO easily that it
isn't worth it. I mean Al Snow knocked out my Steve
Austin in about 5 minutes with a Snow Plow, not a pin
mind you, a KNOCK OUT! That is too gay. Also, in case
THQ reaads my column(and pigs fly during the cold days
of hell), Acclaim had goofy AND....AAAAAAANNDDDD
normal body parts and heads and character design
options. If you are going to rip them off at least do
it right. Do your honestly think the majority of
wrestling fans are goin to be happy that their
videogame likeness is going to look like a swat
team/samurai/Y2J/All-American/cross dressing clown? I
hope not. Gone are the oppurtunities to create other
federations wrestlers and put them in the game.
Final Analysis: Now that I ripped THQ and this game a
new asshole I got to admit that the games ingenuity
will most likely keep me from taking the game back and
keep me playing it for a good while. In closing I say
this: If you own "Wrestlemania 2000", rent this game,
do't waste your money paying for this sorry imitation.
And if you are a playstation owner absolutly dieing
for a new wrestling game, go buy "ECW Hardcore
Revolution". I haven't even pleayed that yet, but just
by the fact that you get to play with ECW characters
and it's made by Acclaim(who serves us PSX owners
loads better then THQ) who has a good history(not
stellar, but good) of wrestling games for PSX, I
already know it's overall a better game than what
those assholes at THQ gave us in the form of WWF
Smackdown!. It is a shame too, because WM2k on N64 is
the best wrestling game ever made; and it's by THE
SAME COMPANY! Thats all for today folks. I will see you Friday or Saturday with a Week in Review column. Peace to all my freaks and all my hoochees, all my workrate freaks; keep your head up and keep on buying those Japanese tapes! Write me if ya get the urge. BenoitJericho@Yahoo.com Until We Meet Again.........
Justin Transue |
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