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Matt Talbot

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THE OUTSIDER'S EDGE
Mark Theories Debunked

Ahhh, yes, the Mark Theory. You know the one I'm talking about. It's the theory where we, internet wrestling fans, are somehow better than the ones without the internet. How does that work? Well, it seems to be very simple. Due to the fact that we have all the inside information on the fact that Hogan's really name is Bollea or that Steve Austin changed his name cause he wasn't "that" Steve Williams, we are a genetically advanced people. Somehow, because we know this supposed inside information, we are somehow smarter or better than the "marks."

I say NO. I think that that theory is dumb. Why? Well, I believe that there is a little mark in all of us. No matter how much a fan might start throwing out workrate numbers or star ratings, we still are fans at heart. Would not it be true that the fan who has all of Liger's star ratings from the late 80s to his broken shell of a late 90s be the biggest mark of them all.

I mean wouldn't it seem that the person who can enjoy it by just watching any wrestler doing almost anything, have an advantage over the guy who has to send away to Japan just to enjoy wrestling. I love Japanese Wrestling as much as the next guy, but it is hard to get a good supply of the tapes, so we have to go with what we have: the WCW and WWF. So, the man who can enjoy those shows week in and week out would be doing better than us "smarts" who despise the Monday night "Sham" of wrestling action.

I know that when Jericho showed up, I freaked out. It was like the greatest moment of my life. Words cannot explain that feeling in any way. You know, when something huge happens and you just pop, be it a Red 'n Yellow Hulk or a 10-Man by MPro. Why would anybody want to decrease that feeling. I haven't popped like that in a long time, but the internet does that to a person. It jades him to the quickly moving facets of wrestling. "Oh, Vince is the Higher Power, bah." "Luger's a face, OK, whatever." I would do a lot of things to recapture the feelings I felt when Jericho showed up. If it is shameful to say that I am a mark, then I should feel shame. If it is bad to say I giggle when Scott Hall goes Hey Yo or when the Rock turns something sideways, then I should be punished. I love it all, though. And that is why I think there is a little mark in everyone. I just wish I had more mark in me. Ignorance is bliss, right!

Anyway, if you have any comments, concerns, complaints, or questions, or just wanna chat about how much Stanford sucks then by all means email me at Talboito@uclink4.berkeley.edu.

Matt Talbot
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