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Guest Columns | Mr. T |
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DON'T QUOTE ME ON THAT Hi! I know it's been a little while yet since I wrote, but I
had another column idea yesterday and I thought I'd try this out. Don't Quote Me
on That is basically my look at RAW/Nitro for the week, but I'm sticking to
entertaining/amusing quotes and phrases that I hear on the program, rather than
a more "typical" format.
Feedback is welcome and (as you can see here) sometimes begged
for!
Oh, and Quotes are credited & copyrighted to their authors
and reproduced as close to said as possible for me and my somewhat-sharp
ears.
Did I Say
That?
"On the behalf of the World Wrestling Federation, I am
proud to bring RAW to our great friends in ATLANTA, GEORGIA!" --
Vince McMahon, at the start of RAW.
I'm sure
you are, buddy! Who cares about that Russo guy? Raw IS winning!
"What is [Triple H] waiting on? There's no anchor tied to
his a$$!" --Jim Ross, on HHH's obvious reluctance to get in the ring with
Austin.
Heh
heh.
"SAFE!" (w/ on camera umpire signal) - Bobby the
Brain Heenan
"[It's A] Hard Table, isn't it? Pretty Solid." -
Tony Schiavone --Commentary to Kaz Hayashi, who was tossed into the commentary
table and slid across it.
Damn, the
first time Tony's cracked me up in years!
"Kane, you're so DAMN hard-headed!" -Xpac to
Kane
The kid
(despite getting his ass handed to him every week) is still
going
out there and getting his tail kicked in the name of proving himself and KANE is
the hard-headed one? Uh huh.
"Bobby: No date yet on when you will return
to tag team wrestling?
Kevin Nash: How about July of 2012? (laughs)
Bobby: You heard it here first! If you're still alive in 2012,
you can see the return of possibly the greatest tag team
ever!"
---Bobby Heenan questioning Hall & Nash about their
return
Gee, do
it! My 32nd Birthday falls on a Monday that year -- perfect
timing.
"[I've heard that] That crown belonged to
King Henry the V!"
---Jerry Lawler, on Mae
Young's crown
"Lawler: You mean you can't do a huricarana,
JR?
JR: No, of course not. I can't even spell
it!"
---Commentary on JR's upcoming tag match with
Austin.
Well, I tried to anyway......
"Lawler: What will you wear?
JR: How about I borrow your boots? I hear they never leave the
canvas."
---More JR match commentary
"[Jim Ross] has no business being in that ring! He is NOT
a sports entertainer, he's a broadcaster!" --Michael
Cole
This one speaks for
itself.
"[Pimping] may not be easy, but it sure looks like
fun!"
--Michael Cole
"Cole: Where is Jarrett taking that laundry
hamper?
Lawler: To the nearest
laundry-mat!"
---Commentary on Jarrett's entrapment of Chyna
in a laundry hamper
Quote of the Day
"[Sid's] 128-0. The
reality is this: regardless of what it [the streak] really is, it is awesome. It
has to be taken into consideration, and it will collide head on with Goldberg on
Sunday night, October 27th.
---Tony, at the beginning of the Van Hammer/Sid match.
Quotations (Or: A Fancy Name for my weekly thoughts)
Positives: RAW started out really hot, with the HHH/Austin
confrontation.
Cheers (for once) to the WWF for the
(DCOR) ending in the Terri Round 4 Match: that means Match #5 will be on the
PPV!
The Godfather's back on RAW!
Jarrett stuffing Chyna in a laundry hamper!
Coolness.
On the WCW side, I could bear to watch it (for once). You can
definitely see that the product is beginning to pick up focus, with solid
storylines beginning to form with Animals/Revolution, and
such.
Negatives: Um, dropping somebody off a 5 ft tall step in a
plastic laundry hamper does NOT inflict wounds equal to a five-alarm bladejob,
sorry Chyna.
BOTH MAINS with no finish? That really takes away from the
delivery of the show. At least you could have had Jarrett help JR win, to
humiliate Chyna, if you absolutely had to protect HHH/SCSA. The dog(****) was a
nice touch, but DON'T PLAY THE ROCK'S FREAKING MUSIC, HE DIDN'T WIN
ANYTHING!
Is Jesse's voice worn out from recording that album? Give the
Road Dogg some time off from the mic -- he sounds like a sad self-parody of his
former greatness.
Speaking of mic time, what happened to the Holly's mic time?
Bob Holly was really starting to win me over with his hilarious rants ("How
about you, Dracula, you fat bastard?") and they suddenly yanked the mic out
of his hand. ARGGH!
Quoth the T, nevermore?
I realize I didn't say much about WCW this time
around, but the parts I saw were pretty good -- I fell asleep because I worked
17 hours yesterday (not because of the product for once !!!!), and didn't get to
finish watching Nitro on tape before I got back up to finish this off.
Here's what I'll do for you: if you liked this
fine piece of work, email me and tell me so (tanaka@ncw3.com) and if I get enough feedback,
I'll get out my Nitro tape, and do a Part II dedicated to Nitro on Wed.
Hopefully I can avoid being doubled up at work and stay awake next week to
deliver "Don't Quote Me on That" in all it's
glory.
Oh, before I give up for the night, I dare to
toss out a question:
Even though I realize that they are the #2
shows, would anyone be interested in a takeoff of this column for the Thursday
shows?
That's it for my debut -- All feedback, be it
positive or negative, is appreciated and I WILL reply to all feedback. Thanks
for reading! |