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THE MUSIC

Don't Forget Him - RIP Owen Hart - 7 MAY 1965 - 23 MAY 1999

Shuffling Stuff:All the misc. stuff [Stars Update, Plugs, and even an public apoligy] are at the bottom, for the interested.

Well, this has been a rather depressing two weeks, what with Owen last week and Pillman this week, ya think? On the good to awesome side, it's brought out the best in our [slash] friends, as some of the work I've seen in the last two weeks has been excellent. You guys are an inspiration, and speaking of inspiration...

Well, leave it to me to find it in the strangest place - our latest Rant Central update ended with a plug for www.thememan.com , a place to find music for any pro wrestler, past or present. I decided to click on it.

I spent over an hour there, listening to music past and present.

Clicking on Bulldog's music, and hearing "Brittianca" for the first time in ages brought to mind memories of my favorite tag team ever, Owen and Bulldog. "Whoo, I'm a two-time Slammy Winner!" BDog was the muscle; Owen was the comical brains.

Sunny's old music brought to mind a time when she *was* one of the hottest babes there was on the wrestling scene.

The Nation's second and third themes bring flashbacks of when the Internet at large was declaring "Rocky Maivia: Third Generation Babyface" a failure and generally wrote him off. Much of the Internet was calling for Rocky to leave the business and go back to Memphis. In a twist of irony no one saw caming, the "Die, Rocky, Die" chants that greeted him inspired a heel turn, the likes of which you've never seen and he catapulted to the top. Just think, less than THREE years ago, we thought the Rock was going nowhere but to regular jobbing duty on "Shotgun" Saturday Night.

Mark Henry's first music reminds me of times when "Stone Cold" Steve Austin didn't even have a t-shirt and Mark Henry was heralded as the next "breakthrough" star of the late '90s.

The Patriot's music reminds me of the bitter wars between him and Bret Hart, and how Des Wilkes made the "masked superhero" work in an era where it was helplessly passe'. It reminds me of how much I miss the "Uncle Slam", and the inspiration for the Blue Blazer: but worry not: for the newer fans, a slighty-tweaked version of Pat's theme is now better now as "Theme to Kurt Angle."

Goldberg's music reminds me of how WCW finally manages to build a star of their own, if by accident. It also reminds me of WCW's lack of a "Rock"-esque superstar that the fans can rally behind in Atlanta.

HBK's theme is on the list, and that of course reminds me of the very first PPV I watched - Wrestlemania XII. I couldn't tell you for a second what other matches were on the card, but I was hooked after I watched the Iron Man match. I started watching both WWF and WCW regularly after this, and this might explain to some of you why I'm still such a "wrestling" mark as opposed to "sports entertainment".

The New Age Outlaws music, if anything, reminds me of how the WWF turned two jobbers-to-the-stars into what Jim Ross would love to sell you as the greatest tag team in the WWF, based on their charisma, Jesse's selling ability, and their general chickenshittness [anyone remember Gunn using the JVC Kaboom Box on Thrasher?]

The Outsider's theme music reminds me of one of the most memorable moments in WCW history, Bash at the Beach 1996 - the heel turn, the pop, the trash, and even Tony saying, "Hulk Hogan, you can go to hell. Straight to hell. (slams down headset)." Even Eric has gotten it right before - scary how the two men some will arguably say are the two men with the visions behind the two biggest booms in wrestling history (the nWo; the Attitude era) are flushing things down the toilet at a rapid rate as a team.

Mankind's old music brings back the memories of his many memorable battles with the Undertaker and beyond: happy retirement again, Mick.

Theme music is a very powerful tool indeed. I'm sure that even though I've only been a fan since 1994, there's probably a memory or story there to go along with just about every set of theme music there. Music is a signal to the fan, as well as a signature of the star himself.  It's no secret that the big stars have recognizable theme music: what wrestling mark DOESN'T know that beat and low bass roll is Goldberg's march? And the Undertaker's music may have been remixed 14 different times, but the bells tolling for his opponent have remained a rock constant. This should not be a difficult concept to grasp, now should it?

Then why is it that I couldn't tell you who is coming out on WCW half the time?

Maybe it's just that the WWF lucked into a goldmine when they found the immensely-talented Jim Johnston four-plus years ago, and locked him into a contract making their music. Then again, you're talking about TIME-FREAKING-WARNER here, who has whole MUSIC LABELS at their disposal!

It no longer seems strange to me that Booker T lost a lot of his heat [no pun intended] when he lost "the flames and the music." The fans had identified Booker forever with the ultra-cool "Theme From Harlem Heat" and it just seemed so..wrong to hear him entering to that nondescript heavy metal.

Music is the thread of memories, especially in wrestling. If you don't have memorable music, are we doomed to forget?

You *can* quote me on that.

The Post-Column Parting Shots [At Large]

(T's Note: This column was originally intended for [slash] publication over a week ago. Apoligies for anything that is outdated. -T)

Stars Update: Holy cow, the Devils kicked our collective butt in Game 1 of the Cup finals. Look for the Stars to rebound and repeat with da Cup in Six. Game Two: today!

So THAT's What That Number's For: Just when I was getting up the nerve to email Chris Rob Z (yo, Butch!) and ask him "What's up with the numbers you put by the links to Hyatte's mopups?", it turns out that it is the number of pages. Another [slash] case closed.

I play Spot the Plug: Sharon rules. Becky ain't too shabby either. They both hate X-Pac, which is all good. Jerry Root rules the earth and several planets: I particularly liked his "What's good about wrestling" column. 

The Downward Spiral of WCW continues: First, Arquette. Then, G.I. F'N Bro. Now, We have REID FLAIR and Russo wrestling? Bloody hell, is the return of LT and Mongo far behind? I call it, by the way, considering the way Beth Flair was dressed: Kimberly vs Beth Flair, catfight. And there was much rejoicing

For our Rantsylvania Fans out there: Matt King, the author of the infamous Jobber Files, is a Rant Central member, so sign up for Rant Central to receive the brand-spanking-new Files HOT OFF THE PRESS! We get first broadcast, and they usually go out on Rant Central several days before they make it to Da Crew.

"The Best There Is", Take Two : I read a lot of excellent stuff about Owen on [slash] this week (scroll down for MORE PLUGS), but by far, the best [and that's NOT insulting any of the other work at all] was Matt Spaulding's The Night Everything Changed. Highest recommendation, and Matt's a nice guy too, as I have recieved feedback from him at several points at time, so do me a favor and tell him what you thought of his article. Thanks.

About Judgment Day: Uh, wow. Seriously. I freely eat my words - the Rock and HHH pulled it off. Five PPV's - Five Thumbs Up from me. The WWF *owns* this year so far on PPV. Add to that fact that ECW has delivered 2 of 3 Thumbs Up efforts this year, and you wonder if WCW can ever get back to the top.

To Rebecca: My (public) apoligies for the comments of Robert Davitt. To the Oracles: let this be the end of this one.

Speaking of those Goofy Oracles: We're taking over thanks to The Oracle's House. Oh, and we have a new forum. Hey Chris? You mind plugging it on the main page? Just thought I'd ask.... (I think I'm out of that business - CRZ)

Patrick Barker in Specific: Thanks for the plug. Insulting people using Fraggle Rock just rules, doesn't it? Nice Hog Wild Review, by the way. I hated that one - I thought the Bash '96 was the best nWo PPV on the books.

More Awesome Owen: I was going to write something about Owen - but then Andy and Tanvir came along and did a better job that I ever could have. Mucho props, guys.

That's About It: Quote Cyrus: "Calm down, Joey Styles, it's only wrestling!"

Mr. T
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Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission