We're back in the heart of Texas, where we join T, Mr. T of the A-Team, and Mini-Me, fresh off a live Smackdown, getting their Christmas gifts ready!

T: Okay, guys, we're just about ready to wrap these....

Mini-Me(jumping up): WHICONEISMINE? WHICHONEISMINE?

T: The one with a muzzle in it, shortie. Pipe down, my head hurts.

AT: HAH! Word, T. Here's the first one...to a Vincent....Russo.

MM: It's a pair of golden scissors...

T: Nothing escapes your brilliance, oh ye of little height; just a small momento of my gratuitide for him cutting out the only thing I enjoyed about the WCW product (the cruisers).

AT: Russo sounds like the name of a bad disease (mock doctor's tone) I'm a-very sorry sir, you have contracted a very acute case of Madusaitis Russo, it-a will require shots.....

MM: Here's a back brace to a William Goldberg ....?

T: Yeah, it's gotta hurt to be the only thing carrying WCW at this point...moving right along....

AT: Here, foo, this is just a piece of paper --(reading) A lifetime supply of Vaseline to a Mr. Rocky Maivia...

T[looks away, refusing to say anything]

MM: A swingset! Boy, that definitely will be "Some Assembly Required". This one is for 'D'Lo', 'Edge', 'Christian', and 'The Dudleys'.

T: They need a push, dammit, where better to seek one than on a swing?

AT: A set of magic markers - to Bradshaw and Farooq...

T: Figured they lost theirs -- cause they stopped drawing their symbols on their chests.

MM: A deep freezer -- to a CRZ character.

T: Yeah, if he got any cooler, he'd need it.

AT: Cool Book, foo! 101 Putdowns and Insults .. these go to a Mr. Ass and Mr. James...

T: Hey, the Dudleys read it ....I figured the Outlaws might need a few....

MM: This one is a job application to the Weather Channel ...for a Mr. Madden...

T: He has a little trouble with his prediction skills -- figured it might help him out..

AT: Here's a copy of Under Siege 2 for a Mr. Vampiro ...good movie.

T: Yep, his career is being driven by mad terrorists towards a hole in the tracks on a runaway train too: I think it will give him some tips on escaping.

MM: How nice! It's a Xerox Machine ...for "The Powers That Be". Expensive, T!

T: That's me, nothing if not generous, those two are copying EVERYTHING out of the old playbook, why work their fingers to the bone copying it by hand?

AT: The entire 40 episode set of "Young and the Restless" tapes for a Vince McMahon?

T: While he's sitting at home, sulking about Steph, he can find us a compelling top storyline, one some of us might actually care about, out of there, maybe...?

MM: "Afvgar's Self-help Guide to Assertiveness: How to say No in a firm Way!". What a weird book ....this one's to Mark Henry.

T: Hell yes, so he can grow a set, and tell Vince to stop sticking him in GODAWFUL angles. He's kissed and groped a tranvesitite, been clamped and whipped live on TV, become an incestous sex addict, and now he's shacking up with a 70+ year-old woman.Not to mention the most godawful of all--the angle where he is deluded in believing he's a poet. Please Mark, JUST SAY NO.

AT: FOO, this ...is a plug? a drain plug? to an Andy ?

T: Yeah, hear my plea, O Power That Is, my gift to Andy is a plug of his latest homespun People's Column Goodness. Although if you dare move Small fry in next to me, I will arrange for MEDUSA to become your neighbor! DON'T MAKE ME DO IT! [shaking].

AT: Either that, or he'll hire Shane McMahon as your publicist. BOOYAH, foo!

MM: One last gift out of this first batch - a gallon bucket of Cool Whip to all the [slash] columnists?

T: Yeah, cause we whip SERIOUS tail, week in and week out....YEA!

AT: I dunno even want to know what Michangelo and Cyan are gonna do with theirs, foo......

T [chuckles]: AND THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE! SEE YA!