|
/wrestling /guests /T |
|
|
/wrestling /guests /T |
| Guest Columns | Mr. T |
MainBLAH |
'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE... I'm back, and what better time than Thanksgiving to get into the Christmas spirit? Thus, the following poem (and my thanks to "Captain Spinkick" for the idea.)
(Original Idea by "Captain Spinkick" (no email address was found)). Twas the night before Christmas And all through the feds Not a wrestler was stirring Not even Head The stockings were hung By the chimney with care In the hopes that The Great One Soon would be there. The wrestlers were nestled All snug in their beds While visions of bodyslams Danced in their heads. And Hulk in his 'kerchief and Sting in his cap Had just settled down For a long winter nap. When out on the lawn There arose such a clatter Hulk sprang from the bed To see what was the matter He ran to the window Shoving aside Lex, Tore open the shutters And began to flex The moon on the chest Of the Hulkster's oiled form Gave the luster of mid-day And made everyone feel warm When, what to Hulk's Wondering eyes should appear? But a tricked out sleigh And eight tiny reindeer With such a well dressed driver He couldn't but gawk, Hulk knew in a moment It must be The Rock More rapid than luchadores His coursers they came And he raised an eyebrow And called them by name: "Now Vince! Now Shane! Now Stephanie and Test! On X-Pac! On Road Dogg! On... ah the hell with the rest! To the top of the porch, And make it real fast, Or I'll lay the smack down On your candy ass!" As jobbing to Viscera would really hurt, The Rock steered his speeding sleigh In his $600 shirt So up to the house-top The coursers they flew With the sleigh full of toys And the Great One too. And then, in a twinkling, Hulk heard outside Such a repitition of catchphrases That the Hulkster cried, Suddenly all was quiet, not a sound and Down the chimney The Great One Came with a bound He was dressed all in Versace from his head to his toes And his shoes were as polished As the shades on his nose A whole bunch of toys bundled up in a sack, He said "Finally... The Rock has come back!" His shirt -- how it twinkled! His demeanor how cold! His sideburns how long! His Rolex was gold! His droll little eyebrow Was arched up like a bow, His shirt was unbuttoned and His hair was just so The handle of the mic He held tight in his hand, Confident in the fact That his pops are not canned He raised up the mic And began to make noise, "You bowls full of jelly Don't deserve any toys! But if I do give you toys, And the Great One means *if* Then turn that sumbitch sideways And shove it up stiff!" A raise of his eyebrow and a twist of his head, Soon let Hulk know that He had plenty to dread The Rock stared at the Goblin, Sized up his orange bulk, "No presents for you, You roody-poo Hulk!" He gave Hulk the Elbow Told him he blows, And with all of the presents up the chimney he rose; As he left in his sleigh, an idea came to his mind, "Let's go put coal in the Stocking of Mankind!" As the sleigh faded away in the night, out the window Hulk with wonder was looking, "Hey jabronies, have a Merry Christmas -- if yaa smell what the Rock is cooking!" [slash] wrestling Mail the Author |
BLAH |
Main |
||