PLEA BARGAINING: 3 for 5... I can't tell York and Matthews apart, either... Double bridging Germans? You're ending THIS match with DOUBLE BRIDGING GERMANS?... Looking at Nova, if he was in the WWF, Bryan Alvarez would call him the newest beneficiary of Joe Weider's supplements... Good Lord, is that Chetti?... You know, we've already seen too much of the Baldies for my taste... To answer your question, Missy, you probably did... So does Rhino have a point or not, guys?... Oh, shit. I'm having bad flashbacks to Cyberslam 2000 right now... That's it, then. They are officially out of ideas... Hey, wait a minute. That guy looks familiar... Damn you, Jerry Lynn! DAMN YOUR SOUL!... On the bright side, at least they'll be feuding over the World title now...

LINE OF THE WEEK: A Cole-Lawler exchange from SmackDown!, while arguing over why Triple H deserves a title shot at the Rumble: "It sounds like nepotism to me, King." "Nepotism? What does that mean?" "Oh, you know what it means." OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH

Yeah, it's late, I know. WCW went and got sold again and screwed up my original idea for this week. It's actually just as well... my original idea sucked anyway.

Eric Bischoff's back in charge on the creative end. It's Yet Another New Era For WCW; the sixth, by my count. Everybody else has already gone over all of the possibilities for the future, all of the things that they wish Bischoff would do, they think Bischoff will do, and what Bischoff needs to do. I'm not gonna do that because, honestly, we don't know who's going to be the booker, and Uncle Eric isn't saying.

There are certain things that, from past observations, we can count on from a Bischoff-led WCW:

1. The Cruiserweight division will become important again.

This is one thing Bischoff is liked for. He's into this stuff, and said that he hopes to work with more foreign promotions to boost the talent level here. There's also enough CW-level talent already on board (Helms & Moore, Jung Dragons, Allan Funk, Elix Skipper, Lash, Rey) and a decent champion in place (Chavito) that it can get rolling in no time. And with Bischoff in charge, they have a better chance of being allowed to get over.

2. The Tag Team division will go to shit.

Oh, wait...

Jebus. You thought the Outsiders were dominant; Nash and Page may NEVER have to defend the belts again after Sunday.

Under Bischoff, the tag team division stagnated, atrophied, showed some signs of life (Rey/Kidman, The Artists Now Known As The Radicalz), then fell to pieces (The WINDHAMS? Please) and hasn't recovered since (all of 2000). It's known that Bischoff isn't a fan of tag team wrestling anyway, and it shows.

And he actually has the same problem the WWF has in regards to its Light Heavyweight division: if he's committed to rebuilding the CW division, a lot of the young teams (Jung Dragons, Three Count, those other two guys) will likely be split up. The WWF hasn't done this because its tag roster is one of its strengths, and it wouldn't shock me if Bischoff scrapped the tag titles completely.

3. TV production will improve.

Let's face it... it'd have to.

Actually, I don't know what's going to happen with this... we know the Turner networks will still broadcast the shows, but will WCW get its own production staff instead of Turner's fifth-stringers? Forget the WWF - WCW's shows look lame compared to the other stuff on TNT and TBS.

A few more questions:

1. Speaking of TV... will the TV Title be brought back?
2. Can we FINALLY get rid of Tony Schiavone? Can we DO that?
3. Now that the sale's been announced, when does the ECW locker room raid begin?

Time will tell... I think.

PREDICTIONS FOR I STAND CORRECTED... NEW BLOOD RISING WAS A BETTER PPV NAME THAN THIS

Cruiserweight "Title" Match: Chavo Junior vs. Shane Helms

Helms and partner Shannon Moore both won the ladder match at Starrcade to decide the #1 Contender for Chavo's belt. Helms beat Moore on Nitro the next night to earn this slot, but Chavo's been playing mind games with the kid - making sure he keeps his title shot by helping him win his title matches.

What I'd Do: Shane isn't quite there yet. I'd put Chavo over here.

What They'll Do: Chavo's probably winning, which is a good thing.

For The Commissionership of WCW, Not To Mention Ms. Jones: Iron Mike Sanders vs. Stacy Carter

The Cat lost the title to Sanders in a FUBAR kickboxing match at Halloween Havoc. After Flair set up this match, Sanders informed Cat that Ms. Jones is actually under contract to WCW as the commissioner's assistant - meaning she should be working for him.

What I'd Do: What would they do with Sanders if he wasn't commissioner? The guy's wrestled about four times since Havoc. Sanders retains.

What They'll Do: If Cat goes over here, it's probably a sign that Bischoff's hand is already in the pot. I say "probably" because I think he'll win regardless.

Hardcore "Title" Match: Terry Funk vs. Crowbar vs. Meng

Crowbar's unhappy because he idolized Funk and feels betrayed by his actions. He wants the Hardcore title back. Meng's here because... ah, who the hell knows.

What I'd Do: Have Crowbar regain the gold.

What They'll Do: They've been pushing the hell out of Meng, and I have a feeling he's winning.

Carson City vs. Big Vittles

They're brothers, they hate each other, yadda yadda yadda.

Did we ever figure out why these two didn't like each other in the first place?

What I'd Do: Vito wins and ends this farce.

What They'll Do: Johnny the Bull turns on Vito (again), causing him to lose.

U.S. "Title" First Blood, Chain On A Pole Match: General Hugh Morrus vs. The Transition Player Shane Douglas

Douglas and Rection had a boring as hell match last month. Douglas has taken to carrying a chain in his trunks at all times.

What I'd Do: Shane Douglas has ceased being interesting. Morrus retains.

What They'll Do: I smell a title change and the end of the MIA.

Canadian Penalty Box Match, Special Referee Hacksaw Jim Duggan: Oh, Those Filthy Animals (w/Tygress) vs. Team Canada (w/Minor Gunns)

The first thing I remember from this is the Animals spray-painting Mike Awesome's Team Canada bus.

Yeah, Awesome's in Team Canada now, by the way, and I agree with CRZ... ugh. He got in by punking out Duggan, who's been signed to be the ref in this match, where, if he sees a wrestler breaking the rules, he'll put them out of the match for a period of time.

This "penalty box" stipulation reeks of New Blood Rising booking, by the way.

What I'd Do: Have Duggan complete his face return and the Animals win.

What They'll Do: Probably a Team Canada squash, with heavy emphasis on Awesome.

Tag Team "Title" Match: Two Guys Watching The Clock vs. Natural Born Heat Killers

There was a tag team battle royal (Why, God? Why?) to find new top contenders for the Insiders' tag belts. Both Thrillers tag teams (Jindrak & O'Haire and Perfect Event) were left in the ring when Sanders had the match stopped.

The big mystery here is which combination of Thrillers will face Nash and Page. They've been mixing them up the past week or so just to throw the Insiders off their game. Not that it'll matter, since I think it'll be one of the regular pairings.

What I'd Do: It's Jindrak & O'Haire, but they lose.

What They'll Do: It's Stasiak & Palumbo, and they win.

Goldberg and Sarge vs. Two Pumped-Up Hacks

Yes, folks, for the third month in a row, Goldberg is fighting Lex Luger on PPV. This time, Luger's partnered with Buff Bagwell as "Totally Buff," which is crap as a team name.

Goldberg, meanwhile, has teamed with his Power Plant trainer, "Sarge" DeWayne Bruce, who became another target of Luger's plot to destroy Goldberg's rep, apparently.

He's at around 35-0, by the way.

What I'd Do: Goldberg squashes both their useless asses and moves on.

What They'll Do: Something moronic, like turn Sarge. Goldberg will still win, though.

WCW World "Title" Four-Way Dance: The Pumpster (w/Entirely Too Much Eye Shadow) vs. The Squirrel King vs. The Greatest Intercontinental Champion Of All Time vs. Some Guy Dressed Up As La Parka

Flair got an idea for a three-way dance at Sin, so he ran a mini-tournament which Jarrett won after lying to Steiner about being in it. Somehow, Sid worked his way back into the mix, babbling about how he had Steiner beaten at Starrcade and mama says it be that way sometimes or some nonsense.

Oh, and Flair's got a "mystery man", who's attacked all three on separate occasions. I'm going to go with popular opinion here and say that it's Rick Steiner. Now, the sale has prompted many to think that it'll end up being Hulk Hogan, but think about it - Rick Steiner's one of Bischoff's hunting buddies. It could still be him. Lesser of two evils, folks... lesser of two evils. But not by much.

Sid and both Steiners in the same match. I hope Jarrett has his affairs in order.

What I'd Do: I don't want the belt on any of these jokers, to be honest with you. Ideally, Jarrett would no-show (or at least put in for workman's comp) and these three lunkheads would lumber around for a bit until Steiner retains by countout or some shit.

What They'll Do: Scott wins, then challenges the mystery man for the next PPV. We still don't find out who he is. Jeff Jarrett was 35. (I'm guessing. Anyone know?)

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