Just a preview this week, folks. Here's a fun game - this will probably be right under the Q'n'D results, so click back and forth to see how well I did AS IT HAPPENS!

PREDICTIONS FOR MAYHEM

The Transition Player Shane Douglas (w/Torrie the Fembot) vs. Stacy Carter (w/Miss Jones)

Douglas cost Cat the commissioner's job at Havoc, and we still don't know why. As is standard in feuds like this, the valets are clawing at each other as well. Thank Foley this isn't a mixed tag.

What I'd Do: Drool over the ladies while I try to invent a reason this feud exists. Then, I put Cat over.

What They'll Do: Something tells me Cat's winning.

Three-Way Tag Team Match: 67% Count vs. Two Oriental Guys (w/Leia Meow) vs. The Jobbers They Both Turfed Out

The Jung Dragons dumped the not really Oriental Jamie-san. No one cared. Three Count dumped the not really talented Evan Karagias. No one cared. Evan and Jamie took shots at their former teammates. No one cared. Have they joined forces? No one cares.

What I'd Do: No one cares.

What They'll Do: All signs point to Evan and Jamie winning. No one will care.

Cruiserweight "Title" Match: Kwee-Wee (w/Paisley) vs. Iron Mike Sanders

Kwee-Wee won a bizarre six-man, four corners match to become the top contender to a belt Sanders hasn't defended since he won it.

What I'd Do: Kwee-Wee ain't over. Giving him the belt won't get him over.

What They'll Do: What I just said.

Mike Adequate vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Welcome back, Bam Bam, who spent the summer recovering from burns he suffered in a fire.

See, he doesn't like Mike Awesome. Or something.

What I'd Do: If Bigelow wins, he might get some heat or something.

What They'll Do: Bigelow's just back, but he's not Vampiro. He'll win.

Handicap Match?: The Filthy Animals vs. Alex Wright

The Boogie Knights/Animals "war" continues, with Wright challenging the Animals to a handicap match at this show last Monday. But with Disco legit hurt, is it gonna be three-on-one?

What I'd Do: Time for shenanigans... Wright tries to buy off Jindrak & O'Haire, but they go to Kronic, who punk Wright mid-match, allowing the faces to go over. Or, the Animals win clean. Your choice.

What They'll Do: No Disco, but Wright gets enough money to pay off both members of Kronic, who don't sell anything. Heels win.

"Three The Hard Way" Hardcore Title Match: Crowbar vs. Carson City vs. Big Vittles

Reno and Vito have some "history" that seems to involve Vito's sister, Maria, who I don't think we've ever seen on camera. Vito's interference caused Reno to lose the Hardcore belt to Crowbar.

Both Reno and Crowbar will likely work hurt as well, as both suffered injuries during a way-too-long hardcore rules tag match on Thudner.

How the hell can Reno be convincing as a character with a voice like that?

What I'd Do: Give Vito the strap, since he's the healthiest at this point.

What They'll Do: It wouldn't surprise me to see Crowbar retain.

Buff Brag-well vs. The Greatest Intercontinental Champion Of All Time

The Wrestling Observer interviewed Bagwell a couple of weeks ago, and he talked about his frustration with not getting a chance to prove himself in WCW, coming off like an arrogant jackass in the process. So WCW goes and makes an angle out of it... only, Buff's the FACE.

But CONTINUITY~! sneaks in as Buff remembers being on the business end of Jeff Jarrett's first guitar shot when he returned to WCW last year, and challenged Jarrett for Mayhem.

What I'd Do: Have Jarrett kick his smug ass.

What They'll Do: I have a feeling Buff's winning.

Tag Team "Title" Match: A Couple Of Rank Amateur Rip-Off Artists vs. Big But Not Particularly Sexy Kevin Nash & Sting... er, Kane... er, Cubic Zirconia Dallas Page

Try and follow along.

Jindrak & O'Haire were the tag champs when WCW went to London. In a Europe-only PPV in Germany last weekend, Alex Wright and General Rection (subbing for an injured Disco Inferno) beat them, but when WCW returned to the States, it was announced that the Boogie Knights had won the belts and that Disco was injured during the match. Wright and fill-in partner Elix Skipper then lost the belts to the no-more-deserving-than-the-last-time Perfect Event.

Stasiak's the key to this feud, since it was his apparent incompetence that was the bait for the Natural Born Thrillers to turn on their former "coach", Nash. Nash wants revenge, and he talked Page into teaming with him.

What I'd Do: Stasiak and Palumbo suck. Pure and simple. Nash and Page go over.

What They'll Do: Well, Russo isn't booking this, so the chances that Nash will turn on Page here are only at 60%. I say the "two old guys" win anyway.

Can-Am "Title" Match: The Poor Man's Kurt Angle (w/Minor Guns) vs. General Hugh Morrus

Morrus pinned Hacksaw Duggan in a handicap match at Havoc to win the strap, then lost it back to Storm in England when Major Gunns turned heel... er, Canadian. CEO Flair decreed that this match would be the last time these two faced each other for this belt.

Major Gunns is no Dawn Marie, that's for DAMN sure.

What I'd Do: Team Canada can have the chick. But Morrus gets the belt back.

What They'll Do: Someone's turning. This I'm sure of. As for the match... heads. Storm retains.

Goldberg vs. Who The Fuck Let Him Back In The Building

Lex Luger returned, and, after swerving everybody in the company in an attempt to become interesting, ripped Goldberg's streak, and his book, and promised to end it at Mayhem. Nobody gave a damn.

Goldberg's streak continues.

What I'd Do: What do you THINK?

What They'll Do: What do you THINK?

WCW World "Title" Caged Heat With A Straightjacket In Play Match: Booker T vs. The Pumpster (w/MyDayJob)

After last month's weak-ass DQ finish, we get a rematch. This time, it's in a steel cage, and there will be a straightjacket suspended above the cage. Whoever gets it can use it.

They're trying to get over that Booker T's been "pushed to the edge" by Steiner's antics, which tells me that the morons are either seriously considering or actually trying to turn him heel. Steiner... still sucks. Deal with it.

What I'd Do: Booker goes over clean and doesn't turn heel.

What They'll Do: The opposite - Steiner wins screwy and Booker goes heel. This promotion sucks, by the way.

NEXT WEEK: All KINDS of fallout. I think there's an ECW PPV next weekend, too, so I'll probably take a look at that.

Matt Spaulding
Oracleswar.com