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Guest Columns | Matt Spaulding |
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THE IDEA MAN No Way Out Of This Mess?
SETTING A PRECEDENT: Not a bad start to
making pay-per-view predictions... I went 8 for 11 (missing on Booker-Big T,
Bigelow-Knobbs, and Flair-Funk, which I flipped a coin for!), plus, as I had
hoped, Sting did in fact run in during Hogan-Luger (I, like many others, refuse
to call him "The Total Package").
BUT: Nobody noticed that at the end of my
SuperBrawl picks, I incorrectly referred to Kidman's opponent as Psychosis
instead of Vampiro.
AND, REALLY: The only good news out of WCW
last weekend happened on Saturday Night, when Hacksaw Jim Duggan resurrected the
TV title in an extremely rare display of continuity from WCW. (Outsiders toss
belt in trash; Duggan, as janitor for the Powers That Be, finds it later)
This move also makes Hacksaw arguably the most over champion in
WCW.
So what does WCW do off the heels of a
lackluster and deservedly panned pay-per-view?
They put Hogan and Luger in a steel cage in
the main event for the sole purpose of milking the "Hogan's back!" heat for all
it's worth (since, as always, it'll die down in six weeks or so), turn Dustin
Rhodes against Terry Funk, and have the Harris Brothers run in and ruin a
perfectly serviceable Lash-Kidman match. They also have the gall to say on
their website (which blows, btw) that "New legends were challenged and born" at
SuperBrawl.
They don't put Sting on the show, nor do
they give us the obvious follow-up match between Sid and Jarrett. Heck,
did they even bother explaining what happened to Scott Hall after SuperBrawl
ended, even though it's obvious they no longer care about Hall?
Now, I'm not about to go into all of the
obvious problems WCW has... I think we're all familiar with the issues.
But they actually did something potentially very smart by bringing back the TV
title - provided, of course, that they eventually put it on the right
person. Note that when I say "eventually", I mean "within the next two
weeks", and when I say "the right person", I of course mean "any of the eight
remaining WCW performers under 30 who are over and/or know more than one
wrestling move." I'm not sure who yet, though. Maybe by next
week.
Speaking of TV, why can't WCW get their
injured stars back on TV in some capacity? Nitro and especially Thudner
(thanks Josh Frank) would be a lot more interesting to watch with Bret,
Goldberg, Sting, et al. at least showing up to do an interview or two, or sit in
with the commentators, or SOMETHING. Remember how well the WWF managed to
keep Austin and Undertaker involved in storylines while both were hurt last
September? There's no logical reason WCW can't do the same thing with
those guys, especially Sting, who appeared to walk right into a ready-made feud
at SuperBrawl only to not show up the next night.
WHILE WE'RE AT IT: Anybody got any
suggestions for a new name for Nitro? THAT show's getting less "explosive"
by the week...
BACK TO MY POINT: So instead of Sting, we
get The Wall. Instead of Sid-Jarrett, we get Hogan-Luger. Instead of
an ending to the Bagwell-Page feud, we get the beginning of a Cat-Maestro
feud. Instead of pushing Booker to the U.S. Title, we see Crowbar job to
TAFKAPI, the most un-over Cruiserweight champion since... well, the last
three.
OH, YEAH, I'M SUPPOSED TO PRETEND TO BOOK
THIS CRAP: There are two places this "Buff puts the moves on the women of WCW"
thing should go. One is to Torrie Wilson (and, by extension, Kidman), and
the other is back to Kimberly and that thing with DDP (Work? Shoot?
Worked Shoot? Shot Shoot? Work That Needs To Be Shot?) that nobody
cares about and didn't actually end.
A third option that might not suck is to
have Buff and 3 Count compete for the affections of a "female fan". Buff
goes over Karagias (Battle of the Pretty Boys!) in the blowoff, but Evan somehow
gets the girl (use the cheesy "I'm a lover, not a fighter" line here), who turns
into a latter-day Yoko Ono and causes the group to break up.
Push Lane and Idol to the moon, WCW.
They're the only tag team you have that has two talented wrestlers in it.
Restart that mini-program they had with the Mamalukes and put them over at
Uncensored.
A lot of people are saying that Jarrett
should have gone over Sid at SuperBrawl, but I can't agree with that. I
don't think Double J has been built up enough to the point where he could be a
believable world champion, but blame WCW's inability/refusal to elevate anyone
or get people over for that, not Sid or Jeff. Maybe with a little more
time, Jarrett could become this year's Triple H, although he has to get a clean
win to pull it off (like HHH's at Unforgiven - he got WAY over during his second
title run).
Naturalize Psychosis and put the
Cruiserweight title on him. NOW.
Can you tell I'm not into this this
week?
Now, on to pro wrestling...
PREDICTIONS FOR NO WAY OUT
The thing to remember throughout all of
this is that WrestleMania is next.
Cactus Jack vs. Triple H: Hell in a Cell
for the WWF Title
I want to see if you've noticed a recent
trend here with regards to the Big Two's world championship: Return matches
after a title change almost always go to the champion, while rematches after a
title defense are a little harder to predict.
With that in mind, remember that Royal
Rumble 2000 was a title defense for HHH. Mick Foley is probably best known
for the Hell in a Cell match he (as Mankind) and the Undertaker put on at King
of the Ring 1998 in Pittsburgh. And in all of the things I've heard and
read about that match, something that is often overlooked -and something the
average casual wrestling fan might not have known until SmackDown! last night -
is that Mankind lost that match.
So I'm going to say that Cactus
Jack wins, and Mick (Be careful!) gets his wish fulfilled - to headline
WrestleMania 2000.
The Rock vs. The Big Show for a shot at the
WWF Champion at You Know What:
If this one seems too obvious, it's because
it is. Not only does Rock win, but I'll even say he pulls
out a new spot in this match.
"But wait," you may say, "this makes it a
face-face title match at WM2000."
Not necessarily... if that's the way it
goes down, hang on for next week's column. If not, well, hang on for next
week's column anyway.
Intercontinental Championship Match: Kurt
Angle vs. Chris Jericho
This isn't bad, but with a little more time
and buildup, it could have been a great feud. It almost sounds like
somebody looked at the card and said, "Wait a minute... we forgot about Jericho,
and we need to push Chyna to the back burner for a little while." Because
of You Know What.
It's a little too early for Angle to grab
the IC belt, so look for Jericho to retain.
Tag Team Championship Match: The New Age
Outlaws vs. the Dudley Boyz
Edge & Christian vs. the Hardy Boys to determine the #1 Contenders for the Tag Team Titles
These two go together and directly affect
each other. The feud with the Dudleys and the chase for the tag straps has
detonated the friendship among Edge and Christian (and we need to come up with a
team name for these guys, BTW) and the Hardys. It'll be interesting to see
if Titan takes a risk and turns E&C heel here, since the Hardys
will win this match and go on to face (drum roll, please) the
Dudley Boyz, the NEW Tag Team Champions of the
World.
Kane vs. X-Pac: No Holds
Barred
Let's see... Kane beat X-Pac by DQ at
Survivor Series, then he beat X-Pac in a cage match at Armageddon, then X-Pac
eliminated Kane from the Royal Rumble, and now a No Holds Barred Match... what's
left for these two guys to do? I do think Titan has one last trick for
these two, and they're saving it for You Know What, so expect X-Pac
to take this one and piss Kane off even more.
Six Man Tag Team Match: The Radicals vs.
Too Cool & Rikishi
CRZ (Our Gracious Host) said it best in
last week's SmackDown! recap: "Who is givin' whom the rub here?"
Actually, I think the Radicals are giving
the faces the rub, as this is really Too Cool's first extended program on their
own since they came back, and I think the wrestling audience is more familiar
with what the Radicals can do in the ring. Benoit, Malenko, and
Saturn go over here (since I think the WWF is serious about pushing
these guys and don't want to job them on their first PPV), but Too Cool and
Rikishi put on a good show and are elevated in the process.
Small Packages:
NEXT WEEK: The aftermath of No Way Out, and
we return to Extremely Crippled Wrestlers to try and figure out how Paul E. can
pull Living Dangerously out of the fire.
Matt Spaulding |
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