Hopefully, Our Gracious Host is feeling better.

ANARCHY SO RULZ: 3 for 5... No Chetti/Nova? WTF?... Whoever came up with the idea of Joel Gertner taking his shirt off should be shot... I wouldn't have put Rhino over, but if I had to, that's probably how I would have done it... Is ECW the home of cheap heat or what?... Mark my words - Steve Corino will have no skin on his forehead by this time next year... JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY! Now let's hope the casual fans accept him as champ.

STRATUSFIED AND HUMBLED: I MEANT to say "adenoids." I did. Honest. I just couldn't think of the word.

You know, Trish was studying to be a nurse before the fitness modeling thing happened, so you knew she knew where they were. But if she was really playing the dumb blonde, she'd have rubbed her shoulder or something.

LINE OF THE WEEK: Lawler: "Hey, somebody play my music! I want a title shot, too!" (Raw, October 2)

Believe it or not, I'm actually going to complain a little about the WWF this week by asking one simple question:

What are they up to?

It was two weeks ago that Eddie Guerrero was playing the dick heel we all know and love. From trying to sabotage the release of Chyna's Playboy issue, to taking her to task about his role in their relationship, to random attacks on her friends, Eddie was living La Vida Rudo.

What happened?

Suddenly, he's back on her side, supporting her against Right To Censor? They're engaged to be married? He's not CHEATING TO WIN~!? Damn it, what's the reason for this?

If they did it to plug the Playboy appearance, that's fine. But they didn't have to make Eddie a face again for no apparent reason just so he could be the second mouthpiece. Isn't that why they keep Road Dogg around? Hell, they could have given that role to Rikishi, and it would have made perfect sense.

But this is about as logical as what they've been doing with Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley.

After Triple H beat Kurt Angle at Unforgiven, he grabbed Stephanie and kissed her. Hard. And Steph didn't look as happy about it as she probably should have.

The next night on Raw, Steph slapped Angle. Okay... she's upset that he's still messing with her husband. But then Chris Benoit went and headbutted her (which RULED, btw) to get back at HHH for indirectly costing him the match. Benoit's a heel, so that would have made Steph a face by default. So we then had HHH, who's pretty much a full-fledged face at this point, worrying about Stephanie's welfare.

This led to last week's SmackDown!, where Angle pinned Rocky in a tag match - and Stephanie applauded his victory, which would make her a... heel? But she did it kind of reluctantly, and behind HHH's back, so she's being crafty, I guess.

But this past Monday, she got involved again, after HHH told her not to. She got in trouble with Benoit, Hunter got distracted and tried to help, and Angle beat him to become the #1 Contender. HHH and Steph had a blowup in the ring afterwards. Fast forward to Thursday, where HHH tells Steph he doesn't want her at ringside anymore because he's worried about her safety (and he's right - she's taken a LOT of abuse in That Very Ring) and because he thinks she's a liability. She responded by telling him off and walking out to a not-too-shabby face pop... but only after heelishly helping Kurt get the pinfall in his six-man tag team match to "prove a point." Pick a side already.

Don't worry, gentle readers. I know what they're trying to do.

They're trying to get Stephanie over as a sympathetic face so that we'll all be shocked when she turns on Triple H and goes off with Angle. This would be fine and dandy if anyone actually WANTED to like her. The problem is that we ALL KNOW she's going to turn on HHH at some point. That's WHY we boo her. That's WHY we chant "slut." (But not so much anymore.) That's WHY Rock slipped up on Monday and called her "Stephanie McMahon-Angle." The storyline practically demands it.

And in that vein, let's move on to the even more interesting case of Stone Cold Steve Austin.

He's the same old Stone Cold, you know - attacking without warning, without remorse, and without respect for authority. But this time, the authority is fan-friendly commissioner Mick Foley. I like how they haven't changed Austin's character at all even though he's rebelling against a babyface authority figure. But even though Mick's gone ahead and "suspended" Austin, something's screwy about this.

If you paid attention to JR and Lawler on Monday (and really, you should; nobody working today can sell an angle like these two), they weren't making excuses for Austin's behavior, especially after he Stunned (Stunnered?) Foley. Yet it's Foley who's been hearing the boos whenever he has to confront Austin. And on Thursday, Cole and Lawler were painting Foley as a man who's been backed into a corner as Austin's crossed the line. Sounds to me like they want Austin to be the heel.

And eventually, one of them HAS to go heel. But who?

And more importantly... how?

And even MORE importantly... will the fans accept whatever happens?

Stay tuned.

Small Packages: