Why? 'Cause people like these. My first game review (SmackDown! for the PlayStation) garnered dozens... AND DOZENS... (okay, just the one dozen) of responses. I like responses.

So away we go...

After losing the WWF license to THQ, Acclaim sunk some money into ECW (not enough, obviously) and started developing video games with the new ECW license. But after the thoroughly disappointing Hardcore Revolution, can Acclaim right the ship with Anarchy Rulz, or is it too late?

GRAPHICS: Standard Acclaim fare here; there's no mistaking who's who. But the "all the wrestlers are the same height" problem that made Acclaim's earlier games a pain in the ass to look at really manifests itself here. WHY is Spike Dudley looking ANYBODY straight in the eyes? Facial features are static; selling is non-existent; Rhino isn't fat. This isn't ECW.

There's plenty of blood, but it doesn't flow freely as much as it spatters all over the place. Kind of disappointing. ** (of 5 stars).

SOUND: Since ECW bought the rights to actual songs to use for their wrestlers' entrance themes, you'd think you'd hear them all in the game, right? Wrong. We get some of them (Mikey Whipwreck's is a favorite, and it also serves as the main theme), but some of the more recognizable ones are missing (I KNOW what "Natural Born Killers" sounds like, and THAT IS NOT IT.)

The commentary, on the other hand, is inspired, especially Joel Gertner. In a special match, he'll actually take a moment at the beginning to explain what's going on ("Lou E. Dangerously has brought out a DUMPSTER to be placed at ringside!"), but most of the time, he's his usual snide Gertner self ("I've seen FANS do THAT move.") Joey Styles is just kind of there most of the time, although any self-respecting ECW game simply MUST have one of his distinctive "Oh my GOD!" calls. Really a mixed bag overall. ** for the music, ***3/4 for the disembodied voices, **7/8 total. (This, by the way, is why you'll never see me do star ratings for matches.)

CONTROL: You'd better sit down for this.

Remember the clunky, confusing button-mashing move system in Acclaim games past? Well, Acclaim has gone and tweaked the controls - and actually made the game HARDER to play as a result.

I'm not kidding. In tag team mode, if you hit the wrong combination of buttons, all of a sudden, you've lost control of the legal man and are now controlling the wrestler on the apron. Somehow, tagging out is more difficult as well, although the button combination is the same.

It also doesn't help that the controls are seemingly less responsive than before, which slows an already sluggish game to a crawl. When you're missing moves left and right and can't seem to do anything but hiptosses and scoop slams, you'll be BEGGING for the simplicity of Hardcore Revolution.

And all you have to do to survive most submission holds is to mash the buttons like you're playing Track & Field until you get a rope break. You actually see your wrestler inching toward the ropes, though, which is kind of cool. But not cool enough. *

CREATE-A-WRESTLER: It's Acclaim. If nothing else, you KNOW the CAW's gonna rock. Original music and body parts, body texturing, hundreds of color combinations - it's all there. You can even create a little bio to go with your new creation on the wrestler selection screen.

They've even gone and added a new feature - Create A Stable. It's just what you think it is - you can put any four wrestlers together and play through the game with them as allies. It's a little like Season mode in SmackDown! in that they'll be there for each other. ***

GAMEPLAY: Since it's ECW, we need more match types than we're used to, and Anarchy Rulz delivers. Rage in the Cage, Backlot Brawl, Barbed Wire, Cage, Table, Brimstone (?!) and Dumpster matches are all standard fare. There are a few inconsistencies (a pinfall in a table match? WTF?), but the game plays relatively true to Acclaim and ECW standards. You know what you're getting here.

The game itself probably plays the fastest of all of the Acclaim games, but that isn't saying a lot - it's still much slower than anything else on the market. Start with the easy level first. Trust me. **1/2

MANUAL: Pretty basic. Doesn't give away too much, but it doesn't help with figuring out the awful, AWFUL controls. **1/4

OTHER STUFF: Lance Storm IS in the game, but as a hidden character. Mike Awesome probably isn't... The three count is now shown by a digital clock that counts up in hundredths of a second... The roster's pretty current, actually - the only guys missing are the ones the company brought in just before Heat Wave, and some of them may be stashed away somewhere... The best sound effect in the game is when you're fighting outside in Backlot Brawl mode and you hear a truck drive by...

OVERALL: Two years ago we'd have something here. Hell, ONE year ago we'd have something here... Attitude came out 13 months ago. But now, this game is about as tired as Big Sal after walking down the ramp, and with the likes of SmackDown! and WM2000 on other platforms, it looks and feels totally out of date by comparison.

The biggest problem is the game engine, which plays just like every Acclaim wrestling game before it, and it's clunky and sluggish when compared to the newer engines in the THQ games. It's time for Acclaim to either rewrite this code or borrow some other company's, because this just isn't gonna cut it in this day and age. It's not good, folks... it's not good.

A step up from Hardcore Revolution, but not much. *3/4

Matt Spaulding
Oracleswar.com