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| Guest Columns | Ian Serotkin |
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Part 1: Obligatory Shots Out And The Like I figured someone would try to get into a debate with me about my whole Great Circle O' Politics thing, and some guy named "A. Simone" proved me correct (my responses have the ">" thingees): >WCW Monday Nitro: Thumbs (as far) Down (as humanly possibly before coming around and being thumbs up again. Kind of the same way communism is so >left that it sort of meets fascism coming out on the extreme right.) Actually, um, fascism and communism are two branches of the same tree, not polar opposites. If you wanted to look at it in a "right-left" metaphor, both are in far left field, with communism saying "put faith and freedom in The State for the betterment of everyone" and fascism saying "put faith and freedom in The State Embodied for the betterment of everyone". Far right would resemble anarcho-capitalism or something like an extreme libertarian or objectivist society... >Hmmm...all i remember is my 8th grade social studies drawing the >half-circle with liberals on the left and conservatives on the right and >saying that one was so far left and the other so far right that it almost >extended into a full circle where they met. It might make more sense to >consider socialism as the left instead of communism, since socialism >advocated no state at all, since people had advanced to the point where >they could live in a perfect community without the need for a State. Well, I was talking in ideals and not actualities; either way, socialism (Marx-style) wouldn't be an extreme, but an intermediary stage on the way from socio-capitalism to pure communism. Anarcho- communism would, in my estimation, be the end extreme, but pure communism is the end extreme in the opinion of most famous communist philosophers. If you decided to believe me instead of lots of dead famous people, then your circle theory works, because each extreme ends in a form of anarchy! If you were able to correctly follow the above conversation, I salute you! I still think I'm right, but I have too much differential equations homework to really care. I travelled to Notre Dame this weekend to compete in the first fencing tournament and my wrist STILL FUCKING HURTS. Damnit. I renewed my USFA ranking, though, so it's all good. If you want to see a real sport, ladies and gents, try fencing. Apparently Horowitz's opponent on Nitro last week was Al Greene. I can sleep now! *sarcasm* Looks like CRZ took over for me as the Disgruntled Columnist of the Week. And I quote: Aw, GOD FUCKING DAMMIT TO HELL SHIT FUCK FUCK SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK. SID VISCOUS is out - power bomb for each man. Double pin for Mother FUCKING Sid. (2:21) FUCK YOU, WCW. Only took you an hour to make up for that awesome Benoit/Malenko match. Piece of shit. AND THERE'S TWO FUCKING "N's" IN "MILLENNIUM, YOU COCKSUCKING SONS OF BITCHES. Sid berates the commentators and who gives a flying fuck. I'M PROUD OF YOU, CRZ!!!!!!!!!! Brings a tear to my eye... Part 2: Rant Mode Tonight's Topic: The Internet "Smart" Hierarchy This was an idea that's been sitting in the back of my brain ever since I read a mostly sarcastic hierarchy that the Workrate Cru (die!) had published. It basically had themselves at the top and everyone else at the bottom, in case you were wondering. So, I figured I'd actually spend the time (cuz we're the good Cru! Hi m0g!) and try my best to do a real one. The lower your level, the more you know and the more reliable you are. Numbers lower than 1 are not part of the Internet hierarchy and are included for reference. Only one or two examples are included in parentheses after each level, so don't flame me and say that you weren't included on level 4.87667. :) Level -1: Those on the booking committees of the federations. Level 0: Wrestlers in the federations. Level 1: Those with direct connections to people in levels 0 and -1 (Meltzer) Level 2: Those who just know so damn much about the business that you take what they say for granted. (Keith, CRZ) Or, those who are on the RSPW-M "white sheet". Level 3: Those who write for a site run by someone on levels 1 or 2 (but NOT an 'open' site). (Schroeder, Hyatte). Level 4: Those who post to the nWWWo newsboard without getting flamed. Or, those who post to RSPW without getting flamed. Or, those who write for an "open" site without getting flamed. Level 5: Ops in a "smart" wrestling channel on IRC (EFnet, BeyondIRC. Channel names are not given to protect the innocent :) ) Level 99999999: Poster or moderator on any sort of Inside The Web newsboard. :) Note: The 'gaps' between the levels aren't even close to being equal, nor is there any sort of set scale by which to measure that anyway. I'm sure everyone will violently disagree with me on this and point out 87 levels that I forgot about, so feel free to send me mail. I always respond, although sometimes via singing messenger. Part 3: Monday Night Thumbs WCW Monday Nitro: Thumbs (Way the Fuck) Down. Shocked, aren't you? If you really want to know how I truly felt about it, go read CRZ's review and pretend I wrote it. WWF Monday Night Raw: Thumbs in the Middle: It was going to be marginally thumbs down the entire way, but the last 20 minutes or so absolutely saved it. I really don't like that they're ignoring the fact that LINDA MCMAHON LOST CONTROL OF WWF IN THAT STUPID LADDER MATCH, but at least they make it interesting when they rewrite history by bringing Ronald K. McMahonald back into it. So what if he's supposed to never be on TV again, ever? It was entertaining, I marked out, and the crowd blew the roof off of the place. Can you believe it? He's now managed to go from the biggest heel in the fed to a face TWICE in the past four months. This time, he managed to do it just by not being on TV for a month or two! HHH wishes he could get heat by not being on TV for a few months. I know, I know, he should try it anyway and see if it works so we don't have to put up with him. :) Well, until my differential equation homework stops giggling at me, I'm Ian Serotkin Jobber-at-Large and Founder of the Heatrate Cru Mail the Author |
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