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WORD FROM THE BUTCHSTER

All right, wrestling fans! Welcome to SLASH...IS...ROSSER! Man, am I up to my ears in it. By the time this hits the synthetic newstands, I'll be the big 21. JLH's is on the 21st (natch). Add to the normal school schedule, the E-feds I'm in, the new job I gots today (yay!), the State application due a week from right about now the funk soul brother BOO-YEAH! and it's understandable (I hope) that this Internet wrestling mark/geek shelve the weekend column, at least for the time being. Now then, with my personal schvit outta the way NOW IS THE TIME ON CRZ OR RANTSYLVANIA WHEN I CORE RESPOND DANCE!:

From CCCMME: Don't think Lawler was trying to say the Big Show looked like Thing...Keep the articles coming.
--> Time for me to wield the non Triple H endorsed Slegehammer of Plot: Thing was a hand. Big Show uses the chokeslam for a finisher, and the main part of a chokeslam is the hand (hence the choke). Lawler is known to make quips during the broadcast (see the Mae Young powdered milk reference Monday). There you go. Connect the dots, la la la la...

Kevin Gerretsen: Liked your column & I thought it was great. Can't wait until Shane-O-Mac & Vinnie come back. I can't stand this McMahon-Helmsley crap anymore. And I would like to be a member of the Future Husbands of Jennifer Love Hewitt club.
--> First off: why bother? We're all messing ourselves waiting for them to come back, which is what they want cause every week they're laying backstage while we're hovering in front of the telly. Ratings. Cash money. Bling Bling mazumah. Call it what you want, but the Macs is hella rich, and rich people ain't stupid. Though if the WWF brings back the LH title, let Shane go for it now that he gots the skizzils. As for the FHoJLH club, congrats, you're now the President. I will now assume the mantle of Supreme Overlord for Life.

In response to my weekend column (CRZ, LINK it up) OgreManPSX paused to say: I rarely reply to fantasy booking, but that's probably the best stuff I've for ECW in a while.
--> Sean Shannon who? ;)

And the original grand shit disturber himself, C.R. Zimmerman:
Your best one yet! --> Of course, this was his response after I accidentally sent a blank E-mail to him last week at this time.

Now, onto the LISTO DEL FUEGO: it's like watching "Freaks & Geeks" instead of "Nitro". Which means it's the thing the cool kids are doing.

15) **KURT ANGLE LAYS OUT MAE YOUNG**
Damn, Kurt rocks. Ironic that Ms.Young got layed out with a Greco-Roman move, since she was there when Caesar went down. And that would beget...

14) **MAE YOUNG: NYMPHOMANIAC**
STOP TAKING IT OFF, WOMAN!!! And by the way, I'm cognizant of the fact Vince is trying to bury Mark Henry with this, but in a sick, disgusting, oh-my-God-my-eyes-the-goggles-do-nothing kind of way, isn't he really getting him over?

13) **BOOKER T SITUATION**
As Kenny Mayne would put it, "another case of the man keeping us down." And isn't this whole angle borderline racist? And isn't Booker T. doing the Rock Bottom borderline racist? What, we all got to use the same moves? This is Black History Month, damnit! Fight the Power! Stick It To The Man! Play Public Enemy!

12) **VISCERA SLIPS & GETS A TITLE SHOT**
Item 1: Was I the only one who noticed Bradshaw hunkered over to keep his laughing from being shown on camera? Item 2: Who in the low unholy hell is Vis interning for to get a shot at the mighty Ayatolllah? I pity the morons giving WWY2JD lame opponents! I do!

11) **PAUL BEARER? KANE!**
First off, hell of a job to Percy, who lost like 33% of his body weight and still managed to look slimy and heelish. Secondly, this is what Kane needs. The first few months he was in it was chokeslam first and ask questions later. Add the heart, and now we have huge face.

10) **WITHER PAUL?**
Maybe HE DID go back to Supercuts!

09) **PUSHING BILLY KIDMAN**
And the beat goes on. I'm kinda disgusted, actually, but at least the guy knows more than 3 moves (cough Outsiders cough Luger cough Hogan).

08) **BRET RETIRING?**
Yeah, right, the next night he shows up on RAW, and joins DX just to get back at Vince. Saaaaaay! That ain't too shabby! Word!

07) **GRUMPY OLD MEN 3**
I liked it better when it was called "Out to Sea" and Matthau was playing this Funk guy.

06) **DUDLEYS! DUDLEYS! DUDLEYS!**
Man, I thought JR was going to serve as a cheap heat device again. Damn Dudleys, Jim? More like Damn I Love Them Dudleys! (Of course, had I had BB in a powerbomb position, it may have been a little slow in coming.)

05) **HOGAN...UGH**
Get the fuck out! Get the fuck out! Get the fuck out!

04) **NORMAN!**
Yeah, some of it is just because he's beating the Meaty Extra Cheesy Boys' asses. But some of it is because he just plain rocks. If only we could get him to fued with La Parka. (tear)

03) **RIKISHI & TOO COOL MAIN EVENT**
And since I'm up here on this soapbox, if they're really pushing Kidman, how come he ain't mained jack squat? Vince, once again, kicking ass, taking names, and fighting the haters.

02) **HELL IN THE CELL AT NO WAY OUT**
Whilst I'm on the WWF swing, look at how gradual and logical the PPV's are going. Royal Rumble set up the title situation. nWo (hah! ring a bell and I'll salivate, how'd ya like that?) has the Hell In The Cell 5 (4?) and the #1 contender's match, and then taking the month off to roll into WM2K. Swank.

01) **THOSE DAMN RADICALS**
How the hell about THAT? The first five words out of my mouth: "The fuck?! NO! EDDIE, NO!!!" before I caught myself. That's good writing. And another thing, how cool was it that not a damn person knew that was coming in Internet smart land? I swear, I could hear jaws dropping everywhere. And as a side note, if the WWF didn't plan to have a major PPV in Dallas before the end of the year, they damn well better. That crowd was all sorts of jacked up. Scott Steiner, sit down. And while you're at it, shut that white trash hole.

@LARGE: DDP, David Flair hurt, mmmm...April Hunter..., "Ready To Rumble", Gangrel plants Jackie, Poontang Pie shirt, WWF promos getting consistently better since Armageddon, Foley on 20/20.

Well, I'll be back when I'll be back. It ain't easy being greasy.

Butch Rosser
Supreme Overlord for Life, Future Husbands of Jennifer Love Hewitt

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Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission