WORD FROM THE BUTCHSTER
Michaelangelo and CyanIndigo are talkng about their whipped cream best of
297 falls match, when all of a sudden, on the screen:
5...4...3...2...1....
[silence]
[explosion]
[music kicks in: I'M THE BUTCHSTER!!]
In the shadows: Welcome to SLASH is ROSSER!! And welcome to yet another
Word From the Butchster!
Howdy ho, Butchaholics out there. You know who I am, you know what's I do,
so now's the time on CRZ or RANTSYLVANIA WHEN I CORE RESPOND DANCE!!!
from <nergal @ antionline.com>:
This is a letter. It is for you. Merry Christmas (:
--> This is a response. It is for YOU. You're late. ):
Shawn Colton, our mascot:
Man, how did I miss out on your stuff in the past? Nicely written stuff
that's funny and peppered with unabashed thievery. By Golly, I like it!
Oh, yes I do![more adulation] They need to push D-Lo...
--> If you think I'm above flattery, your at double dollar sign best place a
phoned conversation to another person of your choice! And, was I the only
one thinking D-Lo vs. Eddy for frogsplash rights? I'm drowing in workrate.
Sweet, sweet workrate.
And in response to my newest ECW & Cruiserweights column
[www.crz.net/wrestling/guests/rosser6.html or if you are CRZ insert link at
THIS JUNCTURE], Paul Sielski sez:
Great idea, you forgot Marquez & Kid Cash. I'd personally put the strap on
Nova, b/c he needs to be elevated and if Tajiri or Crazy got it it'd never
be defended against anyone else.
--> Someone's gonna like it when I book "Living Dangerously" over the
weekend!
Und now, being led to the ring by the People's Choice, Jennifer Love Hewitt,
at 291 lbs, hailing from North Tijuana, California, former Western States
Heritage Champion LISTO DEL FUEGO!!!
15) **PUSHING BILLY KIDMAN**
Man. Torrie must have him pretty wah-pah!ed if he was willing to stay down
in Margaritaville. And they're going to make him US Champ. Sometimes I
wish I wuz still complete mark. Of course, I also wished for a rabbit in a
hat with a bat and a 64 Impala. That never got anywhere.
14) **STEPHANIE SLAPS CACTUS JACK**
You don't try to powerbomb Kidman, you don't stay in the ring when "Natural
Born Killas" starts to play, you don't pull the masks off lucha legends
unless you're a dumbfuck AND YOU DON'T SLAP CACTUS JACK!!! Did we not SEE
the vignettes, Ms. In Charge?
13) **TEST IS HARDCORE?!**
I don't get it. That is all.
12) **HOUSE SHOW USED TO BUILD ANGLE**
No, not Kurt. He and I were born in the same hospital, though. Anyway,
after the Rock no-showed the HS', a battle royale was held at the Sunday
show in which Kane won a battle royal and earned a shot @ hHh. Remember
when the WWF used to show house show footage for title changes? Bring it
back!
11) **NORMAN! NORMAN! NORMAN!**
Like a Rage Against The Machine CD in a pile of boy band crap.
10) **WHITHER KANE AND THE MCMEN?**
I'm not saying they need them, Foley knows that's far from true. My weekly
Word-within-the-Word: Reform the Corporation, this time as faces. Vinnie &
Shane-O come back, get Test, Kane, Y2J, et al. to fight Los Degenerates.
Just...well, you know...WFtB.
09) **JEFF JARRETT, SUPERHEEL**
You want to name all the people helped by the Russo Error? There he is.
And now there's a Slapnuts shirt. Beauty. I'm sure unrelated to Ms.
Hancock in any way, shape, or lovely leg form.
08) **aPa**
Weren't that funny? The A-ko-lites should be total mercenaries, doing
beatdowns on heels and faces alike, until all the teams have some injuries,
at which point they could say they did that to get a little dough on the
side and make getting the straps back that much easier. I'm sure that was
completely unrelated to the new injury a day order's logo as well.
Riiiiiiight.
07) **WELLLLLLLLL, IT'S THE ADDAMS FAMILY**
Was I the only one left hanging last night? Who else thought Lawler was
going to make a Thing joke when he went for the chokeslam? Jerry, you
missed it. That was just dumb. Dumb dumb dumb dumb. Dumb dumb dumb dumb,
dumb dumb dumb dumb, dumb dumb dumb dumb [snaps fingers twice]
06) **MAE YOUNG PREGGERS**
And the Miseducation of Mark Henry continues. What happens-God forbid-if
she dies between November and now? Do I REALLY want to know?
05) **D-TV: DUDLEY TELEVISION**
Does anyone notice they've lost four straight? HELL NO! Why? Cause
they're kicking the pretty boys' asses, powerbombs, they don't give a rat's
ass about no one but themselves. Men after my own heart. Weren't they not
going to get over since BBR couldn't curse at the crowd anymore?
BWAHAHAHAHAH!!! Butchster likes to have his fun!
04) **TAZZ KILZZ**
It's plain and simple: WWF takes ECW guys and makes them stars. WCW takes
ECW guys and makes them jobbers. Here is an egg. Here is a frying pan
turned on. Anyone wanna guess the analogy coming up?
03) **ELROY JETSON!**
And the winner of the Owen Hart "Nugget" Award is....
02) **FLAIR COMES BACK**
Certain guys can't be heels cause we just love them too damn much. Sabu is
one. The other is Flair. For me, the analogy: if Jennifer Love Hewitt
showed up at my house for my 21st on 2.9, and she showed up by cab, I
wouldn't give a fuck! What would matter is that SHE'S THERE! And the same
goes for Ric.
Anyone wanna guess #1?
01) **THE FABULOUS 4**
Call them the New Radicals. Call them the Insiders. Call them the final
nail in the coffin, all apologizes Vamp. And the four guys I admire most,
showed up in Pittsburgh, now Teddy's toast. If WCW was a town it would be
ghost, the day Atlanta died. And I was cheering...oh, well, I've gone too
far and for that I apologize.
@LARGE: X-Pac gets with Tori, Mark Madden replaces I Am Weasel, Hogan's
coming back[supershudder], RVD & New Jack get hurt, Hervina?!, Dustin Rhodes
only seen in safety promos, Make mine crowbar, Head Cheese overshadowed,
Sting working w/Daisy Fuentes [lucky bastard], still no sign of Koko B.
Ware, wXo on the ropes.
Well, that's all from here. The weekend will see how I would book "Living
Dangerously"-and yes, with no matches announced I will ACTUALLY do this one.
I'm outta here like I stole somethin'.
And oh, yeah, Nike was wrong.
The Revolution *WILL* be televised. Where were you @ 9:10?
Butch Rosser
President, Future Husbands of Jennifer Love Hewitt
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