Waaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssuuuuuuuuuuuuuuppppppppppppp?! You know who is back up in the slash, your mystery tag partner, the lover of crowbars, and the co-WCW World Television Title holder. 2 Cool didn't dance, and I won't either [core respond]. Because you people HAVEN'T SENT ME ANY LETTERS AGAIN!! Whatta bunch of Bret Saberhagens. Well, it's time for that intro: from CyberSpace Unknown under the North Tijuana, Calfornia section. Led to the ring by the People's Choice, Jennifer Love Hewitt, master of the squirrels, the Power Outage and the System Crash, the LISTO DEL FUEGO!!

15) **TOO COOL STILL OVER**
Man, I thought that if anyone would tear them a new one, it'd be the Philly fans. Oh, well. They didn't dance, so this may be the week Nitro beats RAW (read with heavy sarcasm).

14) **CRASH & VISCERA?!**
Wow, their match against each other was surprisingly watchable. And the fact they won last night was pretty cool. But I liked them better the first time, when they were called X-Pac & Kane.

13) **WHITHER BENOIT, SATURN, DEANO**
February 1st is Monday. It's no small thing to say that that day could be the day the workrate died down in Turnerville, and the biggest one of the year. That's great, it starts with the workrate, Sulli on vacation paid, and the Harris Boys were not afraid....I'm sorry. Go to Vince. Go to Vince.

12) **hHh RETAINS**
Hey, the man's an effective heel, and he beat God w/o DX interference in MSG in a Street Fight. He did a blade job like a man and took unholy punishment. The former Xanta Claus is wrong. TRIPLE H has big balls. And the man's on TV Guide. Midcarder for life my sweet mocha ass!

11) **I PREDICT THE RUMBLE 100%!!**
See the preview (CRZ, put a link here, would ya? Thanks.) HERE. (Oops, sorry dude, I just missed. - CRZ) That's right. It's all a work, and I'm the chosen one you bunch of slapnuts....sorry. Anyway, I swept through like a steak in Rikishi's colon. And be thankful I'm humble---an ordinary man would've made this #1.

10) **CROWBAR? ON COMMENTARY?! AND IT DIDN'T SUCK?!?!**
David dancing-that was funny. And all the goyim say he's pretty fly for a rabbi. But short of Hudson and Tenay, I don't think anyone in WCW programming got the moves across last night like Devon Storm did. It was accurate, it allowed for a little humor, and actually made my WCW-hating ass listen to a match that sure as hell wasn't watchable. Fire Schivanoe, and MAKE MINE CROWBAR!

09) **MS. HANCOCK**
Man, tall blonde chicks just do something for me. I think it's the power suit and the glasses. Someone else testify about this and make me feel like less of a psycho, would ya?

08) **TAZZ IZZ HERE**
So, explain to me this: is he heel or face? He's been heel the last five years, and to take down Angle would kind of make him a de facto goodie goodie. When is J.R. gonna call it the Tazzmisssion?! And when do we get to hear, "Beat me if you can, survive if I let you." Another kudo to Jim Johnston for another cool piece of enterance music.

07) **DUDLEY BOYS BLOW IT UP**
NOW TESTIFY!! Great match Sunday, and for the briefiest of seconds I thought they were gonna go soft on me. D-ohh! Two 3D's and let's get Terri while we're at it. A cool spot that both Bubba & Terri sold like champs. All those who said that the Dudleys wouldn't get over in WWF, feel free to start waving those white flags.

06) **HEAD CHEESE! HEAD CHEESE! HEAD CHEESE!**
Steve Blackman has found himself a quality gimmick: it's the anti-gimmick. Pairing him w/Snow, example four billion and nine of how Vince uses EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the fed somewhere, somehow, and eventually gets them over. Watch, if they keep Steve & Al together, they'll end up champs. Yeah, some of you are laughing. Same way you were in September when two white guys trying to be black starting doing the worm and dancing to the ring. Whatever happened to them? Oh, well, it's not like they're getting one of the top 5 pops or anything like that, right?

05) **SID? AS CHAMP?! USING PSYCHOLOGY?!?!**
What a cool move that was on his part. It's like in lucha when a good guy acts like a rudo hit him in the theme park. Bret Hart, to his credit, is waiting until Friday to complain about being screwed. Like he's not gonna get the title back anyway.

04) **WCW CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE VACATED, TOURNAMENT ENSUED**
Could we get, I dunno, A DAMN WRESTLER to win this thing, please? A Lash or a Psychosis or a Juvi. Whatever happened to Lenny Lane anyway? Isn't he still champ? Wouldn't that be a nice angle [subtle hint subtle hint]? Just the weekly Word From the Butchster.

03) **PUSHING BILLY KIDMAN**
Hottest chick in wrestling? Check. Tons of babyface charisma? Check. Spectacular offense? Check. U.S. Title reign? Wouldn't that be nice, and I'm sure completely unrelated to him deciding to stay.

02) **THANK GOD JERICHO WON**
There. Chyna made sure he won last night. NOW END THE DAMN ANGLE. Give the Ayatollah some one worthy of such spectuclar matches (cough cough D'Lo cough Edge cough).

01) **MAE YOUNG. NUFF SAID**
All those who tuned in to the Rumble for puppy purposes, you got what you want and you'll never want it again. And since I'm quoting the cabinet of pop culture: AHHHH! MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!!!! Where's that copy of "Wild Things" when I need it?!

@LARGE: Norman Smiley(co-WCW TV Champ) smacks 3-Count's bitch up, R.I.P. Bobby Duncum Jr., Jamal Anderson trying to be Y2J, Tajiri/Crazy MexiDeath Match, WM2K hits a mil, X-Pac gets after Tori, Stevie Richards back, Crash Holly messes up, Lance Storm explains booking order.

Back on the weekend, as the Butchster books "No Way Out". Send them letters, cause you want to be dank instead of schwag, don't ya? Til then, I'm outta here like I stole somethin'!