The WWF is still kicking ass. The Rock's "llama" and "dirty panties" lines are sheer genius. I still get goosebumps thinking of how he put the word "poontang" on the map. I mean, Jesus, five-year old kids are chanting the word with no clue as to what it is other than it's a cool word to say. The Rock deserves everything he's getting.
--> 1)Hogan has selfish motives for breathing. It does appear he's actually trying to work harder--then again, if the temperature in Hell goes down 3 degrees, do ya notice? 2) HELL YES. Go to www.wcw.com (wow, there's a phrase I thought I'd never type) and see the picture galleries. Now you got me thinking about that. There went this column. 3) Yes. Of course, he's technically the #1 contender for the World Title in a parallel universe where Russo's booking makes sense. Sting is in fact the "Franchise", don't be surprised to see that @ GAB. 4) Goldberg is royally pissed about the revolving door, and the Arquettegate didn't help his mood any. No one knows. He should be recovered from the arm injury soon. We'll see. They need him more than he needs them. 5) What pissed us Netizens off is that F'N POOCHIE COULDN'T SELL THE KNEE FOR ONE DAMN SECOND! Rey should go WWF. Konnan should go away.

Sharon Austin is fixing to open up a can of whoop-ass on me: The future Mrs. Waltman! Are you trying to curse me or what? LOL!!
No, I am the future Mrs. Hardy or Mysterio.
Love Your Column, Sharon, Fellow [Slash]er-->Which Hardy? Oh, that's right, I care not. I don't know--I still get the feeliing you like Shawn more than you'd like to admit.

And Tanvir Raquib, who'll never cut his hair, not him: Hey, thanks for calling me a [slash]hole -- guess that makes you just as much of a [slash]hole then too, pardner!

Anyhow, Kidman has looked ULTRA-weak in his feud so far with Hogan. I mean fine, it was cool for ABOUT 30 SECONDS to see him flail away on Hogan, then Hogan dominates his ass in the usual no-selling pattern we've come to expect. Then Bischoff boinks Hogan with a chair of some sort.

We've also got Kidman falling into a dumpster, needing OTHER people's help (Awesome, the best example) to do his shit. I know this has been done before, but I just don't see how Kidman is looking credible against Hogan. Guess that's no shocker, right?

Anyhow, it's what I've come to expect and so should you. WCW blows as bad as a fed can blow right now. Lack of an emphasis on the wrestler, more emphasis on overweight scriptwriters would won't let go of the FRICKIN spotlight.

Death to Russo! Okay, let's just hope he goes back to that video store job he had before in Long Island. I can't believe HE'S selling himself as a New Yorker. Guess what, Butch, NOBODY talks that way! GRR...
--> Wow. My words would look pathetic compared to that thought-out, smart reasoning. Go read his ECW Hardcore TV recap NOW. That's all.

LISTO DEL FUEGO: We, too, like to move it move it (tm. JetMet)

15) **HENNING GONE IN THE SUMMER?**
You know what's CRAZAY? If he came back to Vince and did Mr. Perfect, there's a decent chance he'd be a face.

14) **EDDIE!**
Yeah, Dale, it's a little bit racist. I personally love watching him work. Now if only we could get him back into the habit of frogsplashing fools, everything would be right with the world.

13) **KAT SHOWS THE KITTENS**
I didn't even get to see it! I guess this makes up for all the years of bad dentistry (I'm kidding, Martin). Did Lawler have a full-fleged aneurysm even though he can see it every night? Cause that'd be funny.

12) **ELEKTRA, MIKEY, AND FIRE**
Oh, they were shining stars last Friday. But with a gimmick that good, what are the reasons behind being mired in the mid-card? ECW has gotta getaway from TNN, as for the Minister & DA, I guess that's the way of the world.

11) **NEW YORK RULES**
No, it don't. Kevin Spacey does!

10) **/FLAIR!**
Say what you will about his man-boobs, the man was blessed with charisma and mic work. His tradition speech made a lot of good points, I can assume because it was mostly shoot.

09) **D-CORPORATION-X**
Maybe they can get Dynamite Hack to cover "The Kings"!

08) **WHO IS IRON MAN?**
I liked my idea of a 3 falls match better, but this has potential, as every time hHh has been put in a main this year, he's had his working boots on. Pretty much everyone agrees: this is going to own or this is going to Russo.

07) **FILTHY ANIMALS BACK!**
And jobbing! Everything old is still old again!

06) **STEINER TURNED FACE?**
It's not that implausible--I liked the Incredible Hulk when I was little.

05) **SURPRISE...KIDMAN LOSES**
This just in: that was NOT the Big Show Sunday.

04) **NORMAN GONE?**
Don't make him join MIA. Jeez, make sure we get Smiley out of the way so we have time for the Arquette hunk. AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....

03) **EDGE & CHRISTIAN**
You know the MOMENT I quit calling them Total Request Workrate Canada, they just immerse themselves in it. I can't win. Luck of a crackwhore or Booker T.

02) **/JERRY LYNN IS BACK!**
The REAL F'N SHOW, btw, WHO SAVED A CHILD'S LIFE ON HIS TIME OFF. Boo him if you like. I personally shall be chanting like a Springer guest.

01) **INTERCHRISINENTAL TITLE WARS**
One day the submission title match will come. And then I will shell out $30 for a PPV. Nice seeing RAW is JERICHO 3X, though after the second use the Y2J countdown sorta lost its luster.

@LARGE: Astrojumps ARE hardcore!, Hebner handed punk card, Poetry Corner w/Joel Gertner, Justin Champion, the Don of Heeldom, Radicals rift?, New Hardcore Champ? Crikey!, Chuck Palumbo??, Double J wins World Title, MS. HANCOCK!, Brisco is REALLY hardcore, No Trishie.

Well, I would have a Britney joke, but in honor of the 25th, she gets a pass. I guess it makes sense, 'cause it's only 25 cents to jump on her and stay on her!

Thought I got soft, didn't ya?

Anyway, this weekend I preview HH2K and come up with some musical and wrestling fun. Smell the buyrate and be excited! I'm outta here like I originally ripped off the line "I'm outta here like I stole somethin'!"