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Butchster

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WORD FROM THE BUTCHSTER

Hello, fellow wrestling enthusiasts! Y'all see it's me, it's me. The 4th member of Too Cool, Treasurer of the Jerry Lynn Fan Club, and YOUR WCW World Television Champion! Now, on to the letters:
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Oh, well. No letters. Whoever sends me one, you're sure to get into next week's column! Now then, weighing in at 291 pounds, from CyberSpace Unknown, the Listo del Fuego!!!

15) **VAL, EDGE...ZUH?**
Um, why didn't they have Trish Stratus as Val's sister or something? This is all well and good for real life, but....it's pretty meaningless to this scrub. Isn't Val a heel? Aren't E & C faces?

14) **JARRETT IN WYCHECK JERSEY**
The Master of Cheap Heat, but that took cojones.

13) **RAW'S 7TH ANNIVERSARY**
Bet you didn't know, either. Where was the hype for THAT?

12) **HARLEM HEAT-BREAKUP 2,496**
Stevie Ray is funny. They censored fruit booty. He's the reason DDT Digest is still rocking. He sucks. If Booker T doesn't make US Champ by the Space Odessey, you can be sure Watts is booking it.

11) **SATURN'S SWAN DIVE**
You know if he were still in ECDub he would've got up quicker. Please, let Rey heal! You can still get 3's, Vince! THREES!

10) **AND TOO COOL REMAINS OVER**
Is it just me, or did they get one of the top 5 pops of the night? WWF could actually benefit from US Tag titles, since there are plenty of teams who aren't World Tag worthy yet. Word From The Butchster.

09) **NITRO OF THE LIVING DEAD**
We want Nacho Man! We want Nacho Man! OK, it was nice seeing Tito and Jim again. Now let us never speak or see them again. Why do I get the feeling #3 is just buying time until der Stinglehoffer and the Orange Crush come back? [ubersigh]

08) **THE PEOPLE'S REVOLT**
The Rock is not used to public speaking, huh? I think he meant to say "book writing". Nice opener for RAW with few sags, and I completely forgot Nitraw was on despite the fact I saw Benoit for a second. How WWF is doing this w/no MacMen, SCSA, UT, and Tazz is just so damn sad. Hell, "Freaks & Geeks" is a better show than Nitro is.

07) **FOLEY SOCKS IT TO TORI**
God [Mick], that was f'n hilarious. I hope they don't set up a real Mankind/Kane thing for the People's Show. I guess I was wrong. Midian is good for one thing. One can only hope Collette didn't give the hardcore legend couch duty.

06) **IMPACT PLAYERS GET THE GOLD**
Yay! More Dawn Marie, another Raven/Dreamer fued....it may not suck.

05) **OKLAHOMA & THE CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE**
Where have you gone, Shinjiro Otani? A lonely nation turns its eyes to you. Whoo woo woo. What's that you say Mr. Ferrera? Though we hate you, you'll book a title match for yourself anyway? Hey hey hey. Please, kill me. [Pop Culture Reference!]

04) **PUSH JERRY LYNN**
Damnit, the man beat 3 mid-card heels by himself practically, everyone loves him, no catchphrases, no valet, RVD's held the damn title since "Titanic" was #1, for the love of Mick, Paul E., LET THAT TITLE GO! Way down south in Egyptland....um, sorry. Jerry Lynn, Television Champion has a nice ring to it, ya know.

03) **THE IC TITLE AS THAT BLOND KID IN KRAMER v. KRAMER**
Jericho on Mondays, Chyna over the weekend and Thursdays. How about that row of "RAW is JERICHO" signs? How about that pop? How about Y2J pointing that out to Chyna, playing the face, then doing an "inadvertant" heel thing at the pivotal moment? Said before, and will again: anyone not liking Chris is a dirty communist bastard. I bet those people watch Britney Spears for the lyrics.

02) **DX? D-SENSION!**
Yeah, it's a schwereve. I'd like to see X-Pac and Dogg turn on Candy Ass and hHh just cause it would be cool. Somehow, those four kids are going to have to put aside their differences, make up, and make fun of the Rock and piss on vehicles again.

01) **AND ON THE THIRD WEEK, HE ROSE FROM THE GRAVE**
Finally, the Sock HAS COME BACK to my TV!!! Foley Is God, plain and simple, and I can't wait for ol' CJ to wring the neck of Triple the Blashphemy at the Rumble. All the dozens kids putting lips on their socks say FOLEY ROCKS!

Also receiving votes: Hey, no Buzzkill!, Hey, no Mae Young!, Doring & Roadkill win, still no Torrie, JLH is the People's Choice no matter what Rock says, Nitro gets ass kicked in ratings, RVD retains, Fire Thunder Driver let the mothafucka burn, and Souled Out to suck.

Well, get them letters rolling kids. The Butchster bids you all a good day. Keep your hands on your wallet, and an eye on your Glock. I'm outta here like I stole somethin'.

Butch Rosser
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Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission