You are here /wrestling
/guests
/Root
Guest Columns

Jerry Root

Main

BLAH

THE MAT POTATO

A couple of issues are weighing a bit heavily on my (alleged) mind this week, so let's cut right to the chase, shall we?

First of all, I am in mourning. I mourn the loss of the play-by-play announcer. You remember him. He was the one who used to actually tell you what was going on in the ring! The one that deemed the match worthy of watching, and trying to build excitement into it. The one who believed that the match had actual merit, and left the brazen shilling for between matches, and for the promos.

People like "the dean" Gordon Solie. People like "Lord" James Blears (from Hawaii). Even Steve Allen did a stint as a wrestling play-by-play man.

What brought this about? This nostalgic look back? I caught about 15 minutes of the Nitro retrospective Monday night. 15 minutes was about all I could stand. What brought it into sickening focus was the look at the best-of-7 series for the (now defunct) TV title between Chris Benoit and Booker T.

I would have been better watching the match with the sound muted. All I got was constant prattle about some match that was going to take place at the next PPV, and some noise about Piper (I think, my mind was numbed almost immediately), Hogan and Savage. Hey, they were nowhere near the ring! How about paying attention to what's going on in front of your face?

How are we supposed to work up any enthusiasm for a match when the announcers can't even be bothered to feign interest in it? The entire show is spent shilling for the next "big event", and the action is mere wallpaper.

Of course, with the current trend in WCW and WWF, it isn't going to matter. After all, the ring action is a mere second thought. A minor break between such riveting attractions such as "Have a Bad Day" or "This is Your Life".

Which segues nicely into my second part. (They don't call me Mr. Segue for nothing. Then again, they call me lots of other things with good reason.)

Everywhere I turn, I see people saying "Hell, I could write better stuff than Vince (take your pick as to which fed's Vince we're talking about)."

I want to tell you about a group of people who do this on a regular basis. Some succeed, some don't even come close, but they all dedicate a lot of their time for no other reason than the pure love of the game. They're not paid, they measure their success by the interest expressed in their product, and the number of players they attract.

I am talking about the E-wrestling feds. They run the gamut from using real wrestlers, to using the players own creations. One thing they have in common is the role play, the "promo" if you will, and the story lines are worked out either by the "commissioner", or by the players themselves.

Granted, some of the story lines have been totally bizarre, however there have been a number of them that have been well thought out, well executed, and put anything put out by the big 2 to total shame.

What brought this about? I received an e-mail from a friend of mine who was very active in the e-feds, who had a fed of his own going, then closed it down last year as it got to be too much for him. He toyed with the idea of restarting it, but decided that the price in a social life, and in his professional life, was too much for him.

I am saddened at his departure as he had one of the most creative, and fun, leagues around. However I fully understand his points, and wish him well in his future.

So, for those of you out there who are a part of an e-fed, be it as a player, as a match writer (which is harder than it looks. If you don't believe me, try to write up a match and make it interesting. I dare you), or as a president (and if you don't think that takes up your time, then you've never tried to do it), I salute you. (Yeah, I know, my 6th grade English teacher is spinning in her grave after that run-on sentence. Mrs. Olson, I really know better. I promise not to do it again. At least, not until the next time.)

Jerry Root
[slash] wrestling

Mail the Author

BLAH

Main

Design copyright (C) 1999, 2000 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission