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/wrestling /guests /Root |
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/wrestling /guests /Root |
| Guest Columns | Jerry Root |
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THE MAT POTATO OK! That's all I can stand, I can't stands no more! Enough already! I've been patient. Lord knows I've tried. But I just can't sit back and remain silent any longer. What in the world is the lunatic ranting on? All of you who think a wrestler's worth is measured solely on how he handles the mic! Here's a news flash for you all, wrestling was around long before Uncle Vince, and Eric the Dread got their mits on it. Once upon a time the interview went something like: Interviewer: So, Crusher, any thoughts on your match next week against The Butcher? Crusher: (in a hoarse, gravely voice) Yeah. I'm gonna snap that pencil neck of his (20 bonus points if you can tell me who's catch phrase that actually was), then I'm gonna send him home to his mudder in a paper bag. Once upon a time, matches had hour time limits, 2 out of 3 falls was the norm for a championship match, and ... believe it or not ... actual wrestling happened! Yeah, there were the normal amount of rest holds (headlocks that seemed to last forever, hammer locks that took the victim 5 minutes or more to get out of), but it was about ring generalship! It was about wearing your opponent out until you could slap your finisher on him and secure the win! It was about watching your favorite continuing a feud that may have been years in the making. It could be a feud that carried over from another region, but you just knew that the two had a history. It was a time long before computers were commonplace, let alone the net. All the news came from wrestling magazines. We had our share of characters too. The original Gorgeous George. The original Sheik who would go into a trance and be totally impervious to pain. Believe it, or not, Gorilla Monsoon was a terrific wrestler. Classy Freddie Blassie who was such a believable heel he once had his car set on fire! What did all of these wrestlers have in common? They were able to convey their personas through ring skills, along with limited mic time. The art of the interview wasn't all that important as what you did in the ring. People didn't hate Blassie because he called them a bunch of morons as much as they hated him for what he did in the ring. "International" objects weren't as commonly accepted back then as they are now, and watching the local face get clocked with a roll of quarters just didn't go over very well with the fans. So, what happened? Personally, I think that the whole country suffers from ADD! Our attention spans have shrunk to the 4 year old level. If a match lasts longer than 10 minutes, it's a cause for celebration! If a match ever went to a 1 hr draw, the fans would be booing, throwing stuff and chanting "boring"! Another of the atrocities that has plagued the sport is the art of the run-in. How many clean matches have there been recently? I'm not even counting the steaming pile of viscera that is the current Nitro situation with Sid. Perhaps I'm just old-school. I would much rather watch a 1-hour draw between Ray Stevens and Pepper Gomez than watch The Big Show choke-slam X-Pac in 20 seconds. And lord knows I'd rather watch 2 hours of wrestling than 1 hr 45 minutes of interviews/skits and 8 matches in 15 minutes. After all, it's called "wrestling" for a reason. Jerry Root freelance Mail the Author |
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