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| Guest Columns | Rickets |
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RICKETS' RUMBLINGS Opinion is fact Hola everyone, this be rickets (or Richard as some would have, or RLC for the initially inclined) and this is my column (I think). First a word about my self. I am a bandwagon jumper, having taken an interest in the spectacle of professional wrestling last fall. I was writing the rest of the introduction and noticed that the Japan+Wrestling=fun guy said everything I was gonna. Now I'm all for copying, but this is even easier. I enjoy WWF more than WCW, but my love is with ECW though, for me it puts the big two to shame. I don't think that I have to point out that I am long-winded and egotistical. On with the show! Gotta like the longer matches on Raw, good to see that the middle W is used time to time. Personally I'll forgive the ignoring of the blood in the Edge Gangrel match for the quality, one of the better matches I've seen recently. Then there was my second favorite CPA (behind Herbert "Keep your shit off my desk" Kornfield) winning the IC title. I've always liked D'lo, to see him get assloads of belts and decent pops is very refreshing. The lo'down frog splash is one of the best in the biz today. This should be a good month for Raw. (see below) Shameless self plug time. I am associated with EAW Extreme Amateur wrestling. Ever heard of it? You did? Liar, no one really knows of it because it's a silly backyard fed some friends and me made up. One day a friend at school was having a party and we jokingly told him to setup for a match. Being an extreme diehard, he did. What followed was totally unplanned spotfest Rumble type match. Stop sign, aluminum shelving (note to the big federations, the sheeting makes a horrific noise and really doesn't hurt much) lunch trays, even a wrestling move or two. The highlight of the event was Dan jumping off the 12-foot roof on a conveniently placed yours truly, in a lucky incident that saw no one get hurt. (Probably because Mark Calloway because Dan is certain the Undertakers sole purpose is to ruin his life) All in all concerning the spontaneity and lack of pre sight it don't look too bad. Why did I mention all that? Well several reasons, First I like to put myself over anyway possible, second while great fun, it also increases appreciation of rasslin'. Going out and doing some of this shit makes me realize how hard most is and respect for wrestlers as athletes has grown measurably. Having worked on an moonsault I think it is even cooler than before, plus I look kick ass doing it. And try frog splashing someone every time they swim near you, it's the best. Just don't look for me to run glass into my forehead. Random interest, another friend of mine had a funny dream sometime last year that sounds like a good idea. In it he dreamt that he was a Nitro and Disco inferno came out. Only the graphic on the screen said just plain inferno and his head was on fire! But Disco never seemed to notice and wrestled like that. Now wouldn't that be a bad ass cool gimmick? I think it would turn the ratings around over night. I also have the true inside scoop on the countdown to the millenium, The august 9th Raw is the first one that I can legally drink to, so the count down is to the exact time I get plastered enough that a new millennium dawns. This should ease everyone's curiosity. Controversy corner. Due to vagaries I cannot get ECW TV (Fuck Lansing anyway), luckily I am able to catch Sean Shannon's recaps (it seems to be a requirement to mention him). So I am able to bring you my thoughts on Joel Gertner's JFK Jr. Comments. Let me quickly explain be for viscous mobs hunt me down and rip to shreds. I quickly get annoyed and angry when a death or a small number of deaths gets publicized beyond their importance. There is way too much bullshit around this globe to get worked up over a few people. Add that to the fact the JFK Jr. was really not much more useful than as tabloid fodder, couldn't do anything on his own, family took care of it all. Plus, we should be used to a Kennedy croaking now and then. So Gertner's comments were nothing short of hilarious. I only wish I could of heard the quintessential studmuffin say said lines. And how many times before this has ECW been mentioned by TV Guide before? Speaking of ECW, I personally am against the Dudleys going to the WWF. It took me a while to warm up to them through the three PPV's we bought this year, but slowly they grew on me. Then at Heat Wave Bubba had us rolling on the ground with laughter over their crowd provoking antics, then went on to put on the most enjoyable match of the night. Its hard to imagine them being _ as entertaining with Titan Sp..er I mean World Wrestling Federation Inc.. One can hope, but bad precedence has been set. I now just hope to God that RVD doesn't even think about jumping, WCW would kill him, in a burying kind of way. Speaking of Dan here are some of his random thoughts "Damn, Scott hudson is the best damn announcer ever. # of the best lines I have ever heard came from him last night. #1. "Here comes the Cat, Somebody better call his momma!" #2. "Referee, 'Blind' Charles Robinson" He should pay CRZ royalties for that one. #3. referring to Nash Sid and Steiner as the Million Dollar Trio. A little blast from the past there. I still cant figure out what the hell Dwayne Arnold was doing color fuckin commentary on my Monday nights for. Who's next? JJ fuckin walker." That's all I'm gonna say about that. I haven't watched my Nitro tape yet, when I do I'll spill forth any strong opinions that are formed. Until then I wanted to apologize for wasting your time, you'll never get these 5 minutes back. (Random note, according to grammar check this page has a grade level of 5.9 very much down from my usual 8-10+ despite the same everything else, maybe Word saw Professional Wrestling in the document and down graded it accordingly) J Feel free to clog my email server with hate mail or adoration (not bloody likley) and keep in mind I am looking to get embroled in an oh so exciting net feud. Snicker later kids "Illiterate" Rickets freelance Mail the Author |
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