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Scott Rees

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REES' PIECE OF MIND
Fire 'em All

WANTED: Full-time nanny. Must be willing to travel Mondays, Tuesdays, and one Sunday each month. Employee will be in charge of pacifying 40 grown men, ages 20-55. Must possess strong ego-soothing skills. Benefits included. Please send resume to Bill Busch, One Turner Place, Suite 2, Atlanta, Georgia.

If the Guinness Book of World Record's doesn't list the WCW lockerroom as the biggest babies in the world, I'd hate to see who has it. For the past six months, about every other day, somebody on the WCW roster is crying. Renegotiate my contract. Push me. I don't want to work with X. Whaaaa!

The news out of WCW this week shouldn't have surprised anyone following wrestling on the net. For the past six months, whining from WCW has become a constant in any news report. Half of the lockerroom was complaining about Eric Bischoff, so he gets fired. Vince Russo is brought in to save the company. Almost instantly, Sullivan, Dillon, Graham, etc., start undercutting his work. Wrestlers who complained about not getting a push under Uncle Eric continue complaining about not getting a push under Lil' Vinny. Regardless of who's in charge, the whining never ceases.

Bill Busch has himself one hell of a problem. And I have his solution.

Fire 'em all!

Every person, be it wrestler, announcer, booker, or Nitro Girl who has asked for a full release - give it to them. Every bitch-and-moan wrestler whose contract expires - let them go on their merry way. Everyone in WCW who thinks the WWF is the Holy Grail - let them beg Mr. McMahon for a job.

Let's take a look at some of the wrestlers under contract with WCW who's asked for a release. Ric Flair, Chris Benoit, Kevin Nash, Shane Douglas, Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko, Eddy Guerrero, Konnan, Rey Misterio Jr., Juventud Gurrera. Give them a full release. Page was rumored to have wanted out - send him packing. Tack on Scott Hall for being a general fuck-up. Savage's contract is up, and Hogan's is in a month. Sing Happy Trails as you show them the door. The Nitro Girls want a raise. Tell them to try the nearest strip club. There's nothing worse for company morale then a bunch of people who don't want to be there. And every time Busch caves in, he loses respect from somebody else. So take a stand, and let them go.

At this point, somebody reading this is screaming "You can't give away your whole roster! The WWF will sign all of the big names, and ECW will sign the rest! WCW would get murdered!" Fact is, they're getting murdered already. House show attendance is at or below ECW standards. Hell, pay-per-view buyrates are now at ECW standards. Payroll needs to be cut to match revenue levels.

Somebody else is cursing "You can't fucking let go of Benoit! He's the future! The WWF signs Benoit, and you'll never compete with them." To this, I agree in part. Benoit is a superstar. Benoit has all of the physical tools. He's best on the mic when he's short and concise: "I'm going to kill you" is all he needs. He got over in WCW with little help. Can he do it in the WWF? I'd bet on it.

But all of these guys, with no competition from WCW, will find out how much they're really worth. Vince can't sign and push everybody. And don't think for a moment the WWF wrestlers will happily give up their spots in the food chain. Ask Jericho about that. And how much can ECW afford to sign on new talent? And where would they fit in? Half of these guys have been in ECW, and either wore out their welcome or maxed out their potential. When the other wrestlers see and hear how little the whiners got somewhere else, maybe the edge to complain will be dampened just a bit.

Even if Busch lets all of the big names go, WCW still has a solid roster. Bret Hart, Jeff Jarrett, Goldberg, Sting, and Booker T are five big-time names. Lex Luger and Sid can be very effective in limited roles. Solid veterans like Bigelow and Henning would bust their asses if given a decent shot. And there are plenty of new guys who are getting over: Vampiro, Norman Smiley, David Flair (scary as it is), Tank Abbott, and Crowbar, just to name a few. Give the young hungry guys a shot; that's all they need. Hey, The Hardy Boyz got over by way of one match.

Put Terry Taylor in charge of booking, get rid of Sullivan, Graham, and Dillon, get a production staff that has a fucking clue, and WCW's ready to go.

In professional sports, the coach is always the first to go. The excuse always is "You can't fire the players." But when the successor gets canned soon after, eventually somebody in the front office realizes that the problem is the players. And the solution is to start over, with new players. If Bill Busch shitcans all of the whiners and dead weight, he can do that.

At the very least, he won't have to hire a nanny.

Scott Rees
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