If you thought I Need a Haircut was weird, well...this one might be a lil' TOO WEIRD for you, depending on how anal of a person you are. This has more wrestling-related stuff in it, so I hope you people will be pleased. And don't forget to shower me with emails and sweet nothings. I'll be waiting, but not long. :) - Tan

Take, for instance, my common situation when it comes for waiting for one.

There might be 8 urinals in one bathroom. But only 4 are being used. That's because no one wants to stand next to someone while they're pissing. I sure don't. Heaven forbid an accident might happen.

Because of the stance I take (well, unless it's a REAL EMERGENCY), I usually have to wait for someone to finish pissing. The wait for the adequately positioned urinal that feels like hours to me. Sort of like how it must be for the young and talented members of the professional wrestling scene: they want the old guys to step aside, so they can have their shot.

This kind of wait/impatience for a push is not just shown by the young wrestlers, but also the fans of them - primarily a majority of the patrons of the 'Internet Wrestling scene'. For 2 and a half years, I've been beaten over the head by "smarks" with "When's [X] gonna get his push?" Whenever I went online - that sentiment was very prominent on newsboards, message boards, and so called 'insider sites'.=20

Sure. I agree with the sentiment totally.

So often are the more untalented wrestlers the ones who are pushed to the moon. Heck, I'm strongly for a 'youth movement' in professional wrestling.=20

But this gets annoying. About as annoying as being in a line with OTHER people WAITING to take a piss. You don't wanna look at the others, who probably have the same uncomfortable cringing looks on their faces that you probably have. You wanna distract yourself from cringing or being reminded of it by the others - like looking at the floor or noticing the hand drying machine. I understand that you want some young guy to get a push. I'll probably agree with you, but it tires me hearing the same thing over and over again.=20

In my head, sometimes I'll think "So what if he doesn't get a push? At least he's getting a 6 figure deal. I wish I could get a 6 figure deal for sitting on my ass at home." So what if so and so doesn't get a push - big shit. You think he gives a damn what a punk behind a keyboard like me thinks? Well, maybe, but I bet he doesn't mind getting that paycheck either.=20

During the long wait for a urinal, you have to fight the urge to piss your pants at times, depending on how much urine you're holding and what time you drank that Coke. Underpushed wrestlers have gotta fight that urge all the time - they can't complain and they've gotta tow the company line. Having heat with the bookers is a bad thing - if you're unpopular enough, you could get fired. Sable pissed her pants too soon and she's ALWAYS was first in line for a toilet stall!

So let's say [X] finally gets this push and is really getting over with the crowd. The wait is over; just like that moment you FINALLY piss in that urinal or toilet stall. Finally, after all that cringing agony, it's over! It's a great feeling for fans, family and the wrestler when he finally gets that big break after toiling through the ranks. That agony is over: maybe he can make some money off T-shirt sales or parlay his overness into a bigger deal with a perspective company after his current deal is over.

But you know there are gonna be other wrestlers - let's call'em [T] , [A] and [N]. These three are SO talented, but they are getting no push, no airtime and no heat. They've just seen [X] get the push and the adoration of fans in every stadium that he performs in. Another wait begins. Just like another wait for the adequately positioned urinal. Careful, guys. You don't wanna piss your pants.