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CEREBRAL SID

Sid Vicious has always been booked as a big, lumbering fool. Not so Monday night.

Oh, and how about all the name-dropping? Ric Flair. Hulk Hogan. It was on TV. They must be coming back.

And what about those problems with the audio? Blame on the WWF, says Gene Mean.

After surviving a handicap match against the Harris brothers, Sid got his chance to win the vacated WCW heavyweight championship against "commissioner" Kevin Nash.

The deck was stacked against Sid. Nash banned the powerbomb for the match. You also had to figure in the ref bump and NW0 run-in. And the fact that Nash is the booker.

Yes, the ref bump happened. So Sid figured he could get away with a powerbomb because the ref didn't see it. That brought out Jeff Jarrett with the guitar. Sid wisely let Nash go and dealt with Jarrett. Sid got a hold of the guitar and busted over Nash's head. As the ref was waking up, Sid sold that HE got hit with the guitar, not Nash, and slowly crawled over to make the cover. And now he's the world champion!

That was well booked. And Nash didn't put himself over. At least not yet. Does anyone remember Arn Anderson's shoot speech last Monday? Need I say more? Yes, actually I will.

Picture this. A contrite Charles Robinson appears before the camera next Monday and says, "I'm the referee and I screwed up. I really feel bad about this but I watched the videotape and I saw Sid Vicious hit Kevin Nash with the guitar. I know it came after I got bumped. I know many of will say the ref bump must happen in a WCW main event but still I was wrong. And I know you will say that it was Jeff Jarrett who brought in the guitar. You are right. But whether you like it or whether you don't like it, NW0 run-ins are legal in WCW. So I have no choice but to declare Kevin Nash the winner. Again, I am sorry but you're going to have to learn to live with it."

You don't think that can happen? Just remember that Nash is the booker.

As for Nash, he was funny last night. I really like the part where he said the powerbomb is "so gosh darned dangerous." But I still don't think he's playing a straight enough heel. Nash to a fan last night: "Thank you. I know I'm number one, sir." The Rock, when he was a heel, would have called the guy a roody poo candy ass.

Now, how about the name-dropping? Arn is on his cell phone telling the person on the other end that it's time someone else ate some desert dust. As you all should recall, the Filthy Animals dumped Ric Flair in the desert. Whoo, Nature Boy!! Arn ended the call, turned to Terry Funk and said, "Done deal." So it looks like Flair is coming back to help Funk in his angle with Nash. Of course, the announce team teased it the rest of the night. We have to watch Thunder to find out. Now, that is smart booking. I like it. Give us a reason to watch Thunder.

Then you had Lex Loser telling the audience he is better than anyone, including "the immortal Hulk Hogan." With his name being mentioned on TV, does anyone think Hogan isn't coming back? From what I understand, Hogan wants to lead the NW0 again but I get the feeling he will return as a babyface, at least at first.

The whole show was actually pretty good except for the audio problems. Bobby Heenan had a sharp wit, Mike Tenay had some spunk and even Tony Schiavone wasn't bad. All three did a good job at putting over the action.

Right off the bat, I popped when Scott Hall returned.

Juvi Guerrera and Kaz Hayashi started us off with a great cruiserweight match. I really like Juvi's Rock-like mic work where he deliberately names the wrong city. Funny stuff. But the sign police were asleep. That "WCW Sucks" sign popped up all night. I hope this cruiserweight tournament gets that belt back over again.

Why on earth are they pushing The Wall? This is puzzling. He had just an awful match with Kid Romeo. At one point, Wall had to practically throw himself over the top rope because of some weak kicks from Kid Romeo. This match belonged on Saturday night.

Three Count are getting way over as heels. That crowd just hated them last night. Norman Smiley got a huge pop when he came out dressed like Steve Yeager and cleaned house. It was even funnier when Three Count tried to dance afterwards and Shannon Moore could only lie on his circle, selling the beating he got from Smiley.

Nash decided to take care of former tag team buddy Al Green by letting him have a shot at stardom on Nitro. His opponent: Tank Abbott. Poor Al. Abbott no-sold like he was Meng and squashed Green, who can take himself back to jobberdom, also known as WCW Saturday Night. And it looks like they are bringing in someone from Abbott's past to feud with him as evidenced by that "fan" in the front row.

I want to join the NW0. They sure do have some babes.

The Cat is back. Yes! Talk about a heat machine. But Lady Diamond Cutter thinks he's better with Sonny Onoo and I agree.

Poor Al got stuffed in an ambulance as Hall said, "You got a great future, Al." Hall can't be anything but funny. Great stuff.

I can't say enough about Funk. The guy is 55 years old and takes some insane bumps. His match with Bam Bam Bigelow was superb, even with the Fit Finlay/Brian Knobbs run-in. Afterwards he said, "Kevin Nash, you're going to have to kill me to get rid of me." Then he promised he would have reinforcements for Thunder. Another plug for Thunder. That's the way to do it.

Sid had to face Don (or Ron) Harris before he got the shot against Nash. It was supposed to be Jarrett but he is still out with a concussion. This was a fun match in which the Harris brothers pulled the typical switcharoo stuff that identical twins can do. Didn't matter. Don (or Ron) got a chokeslam. Don (or Ron) got a powerbomb. End of story.

Kidman and Vampiro put on a wrestling clinic, one of the best matches I've ever seen on WCW. And Torrie Wilson was just sizzling. What an awesome looking woman. The announcers had fun talking about her. Kidman won but WCW still put Vampiro over in an interview with Gene Mean. It took two tries as the audio failed on the first attempt. Damn it, WCW, you won't do that for Stevie Ray! No wonder he's so mad.

Luger's entrance immediately drew a Sting chant. He had Booker T as an opponent. Booker was on last night and hit Luger with his whole arsenal. One thing Luger can do is sell and he made it all look good. Of course you know any match with Booker T is merely a setup for the Stevie Ray/Not Ahmed run-in. Yeah, Not Ahmed brained Booker with the slapjack and Luger won. I liked the figure pointing the baseball bat at Luger after the match. Very cool.

For some reason, David Flair, Crowbar and Daphne took over the announce table for the tag team title match between Johnny the Bull and Big Vito against Finlay and Knobbs. All I'm going to say is they were horrible on the stick. You can sure see Kevin Sullivan's influence here as Finlay does the double stomp on Johnny's chest. At least Legs came out to take notes on the action. This train wreck ended when Vito hit his jumping DDT on Finlay after Knobbs accidentally brained his partner with a chair.

Nash came out to shoot with the audience before the main event. A sign in the audience read, "Give Nash Better Catering." You see, Internet fans go to matches, too. Nash's presence brought out a Goldberg chant. "You can chant his name all you want," Nash said. "He doesn't work here anymore." Another sign read, "Diesel Sucks." Gee, just where were those sign police?

It was good that Sid went over. Right now, with all the injuries, he's WCW's first option as a babyface. Those other guys need to get back soon. It could start happening on Thunder. Stay tuned!

Mr. Mean
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Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission