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Mr. Mean

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BLAH

WINNING INGREDIENTS

If you're WCW and your product isn't getting over, what do you?

You mix it up. Throw in a little ECW, some WWF, some AWA and even the NFL. And what do you get?

One of the best Nitros ever.

The ratings don't reflect it but Nitro was a great show. It was good I didn't once flip to Monday Night RAW during the second hour of Nitro.

The star of the show was unquestionably Jeff Jarrett and his triple job special. Jarrett was so good that he could job THREE times in one evening to a trio of former superstars and not lose any heat. Heck, he gained heat. Does anyone who follows WCW think Buff Bagwell could have pulled that off? Didn't think so. The next time anyone in the WCW locker room wants to complain about doing a job, they should look at the tape from Monday.

Yes, some of you are saying that Jarrett got cheap heat because he wore a Frank Wycheck jersey in Buffalo. But it was more than that. Jarrett's mic skills were so on that he had the crowd in a frenzy. The part where he mocked throwing a lateral and shoved the Bills' Ted Washington was classic. I call it great booking by Vince Russo in response to Buffalo's heartbreaking loss to Tennessee.

Yes, classics. George the Animal Steele. Jimmy Snuka. Tito Santana. And Jarrett put all three over. And I had classic thoughts. I can still see Roddy Piper cracking a coconut on Snuka's head in what I feel is the best heel moment of all time. I can still see Colonel DeBeers piledriving Snuka on the concrete. And of course the top of the cage dive. I can still hear Bobby Heenan calling Santana's cross body block a "flying jalapeno." Brain, why didn't you do that Monday night? Steele ate a turnbuckle just like the old days.

And to top it off, the babyfaces ruled. That never happened with the old NW0 and it led to the deterioration of a once great angle. Lady Diamond Cutter has complained to me that there aren't any over faces in WCW. Maybe that will change. The fans come to see good triumph over evil. Thunder ended last week with Kevin Nash powerbombing Terry Funk through the stage. Nitro ended with Funk poking Nash with a flaming branding iron. That was great. Funk isn't going to get over as a tough guy comish if Nash is powerbombing him all the time.

Perry Saturn took what may have been the bump of the century when he jumped 20 feet off the balcony through a table and Rey Rey. I think Rey is still embedded in the concrete. No, they did cart him off in an ambulance.

And Bret Hart actually carried Kevin Nash to a decent match. I didn't that was possible.

About the only thing bad was Ed Ferrara. He doesn't belong in the ring. Period. He doesn't need to book himself over the wrestlers. That segment was awful. And to think Ferrara is going after the CRUISERWEIGHT title? That fat pig? OK, maybe there is no weight limit. Oh, what the heck. Titles don't matter. They really don't. They change hands every couple of weeks. Still, Ferrara sucks.

Now let's take a look at what went down.

The highlight of the opening three-way tag train wreck was Saturn and his big spot. When Saturn temporarily disappeared, Shane Douglas, providing his usual good mic work, said, "What is that idiot doing?" He was actually conferring with Paul E, who was secretly booking the match. Just kidding. It goes without saying that Saturn and Rey didn't have to worry about selling the spot. It was awesome looking. What puzzled me was why Shane just stood there while David Flair pinned Saturn on the concrete. I call a good match with a sloppy ending.

Ferrara's Oklahoma gimmick is so bad I don't want to say anything else about it.

Funk and his legends came out and Funk said they were still young enough to kick the NW0's ass. They don't seem very over to me, judging by the way the crowd reacted.

Jarrett came out wearing #89 of the Tennessee Titans and the crowd heat soared. Yes, Double J is over as a heel big time. Jarrett found out from Funk that he faced three matches against three mystery opponents. Jarrett assumes its Arn Anderson, Larry Z and Paul Orndorff. "I just hope they don't die before they get to the ring," Jarrett said, as the crowd laughed. Chris Benoit was named the special referee, stacking the odds against Jarrett.

Funk gave Hart and Nash the bad news that they would have to wrestle each other. He further added that if they didn't give an honest effort, he would suspend them for a year. Or at least until Nash powerbombed him again. Scott Steiner's entire rant got muted

The Diamond Dallas Page-Bagwell angle is sizzling. Their five-minute verbal confrontation was a classic. From the moment Bagwell said, "How's your wife?" the crowd was popping. DDP is playing the jealous husband to perfection. But I have wonder is Bagwell is going to respond when he has to do the job. Maybe he will be OK with it. I can actually understand him not wanting to put over a nobody like Alex Wright.

Jarrett first opponent was Steele. Yeah, he sold being in shock. The crowd went nut over Steele, whose facial expressions are priceless. Jarrett eventually got in the guitar shot but took a spinebuster from Arn. Run-ins tonight are OK. Benoit the ref pulled Steele over to Jarrett and made a fast three count. Now that's how you do a job without losing heat.

Stevie Ray was so good on the mic that he drew a WWF-style "asshole" chant, which mostly got muted. His reference to O.J. Simpson was just hilarious. Ditto when he called Midnight a crackerjack. I've read a lot of negative things about Stevie Ray but I think he is very underrated as a heel. His angle with real brother Booker T is moving along nicely.

When Double J came out for Part II, he mocked the Bills about the Titans' dramatic game winning touchdown return. He got in a shove on Washington, who sold anger. Talk about heat! Opponent number two was Santana. Oh how I wish Heenan was in heel mode. Santana can still nail the dropkick. Washington climbed up on the ring apron and pushed JJ right into an Orndorff piledriver. Heenan sagely noted, "Terry Funk is jobbing Jeff Jarrett." Actually, it was Russo. Remember, he's the writer. Poor Jeff had it really bad. Heck, the ref even punched him.

Tank Abbott's challenging of Doug Dillenger, though not as bad Ferrara, was close. I didn't see the point. I know it's all part of the angle with Jerry Flynn but who cares?

Before Part III, Jarrett really worked the Buffalo crowd, calling him and Wycheck winners and yada, yada, yada. "You're a loser, you punk!" Washington shouted.

Benoit had been attacked in the locker room and so wasn't in the ring for the start of Jarrett's match with Snuka. It was all Jarrett until Benoit recovered, rushed the ring and attacked Jarrett. We all know why this match was held in the cage. Did anyone think Snuka and Benoit weren't going to dive off the top of the cage? Well, maybe some of the more recent wrestling fans didn't know about Snuka. The double spot looked great.

Let me just mention that the eye candy surrounding Steiner looked nice but not as good as Lenny and Lodi's secretary. And not nearly as good as the WWF's Tori, far and away the best-looking woman in wrestling!

I think I actually heard a "boring" chant during the Hart-Nash match. Maybe it's because they were WRESTLING for a while. But they worked a solid match and didn't hold back. Nash hit a sweet looking snake eyes at one point. The heat came later during the inevitable run-in when Arn smacked Nash in the back with a pipe. He told Hart he owed him.

At about this time I was wondering why Sid Vicious hadn't appeared, since he does have a world title shot against Hart at Souled Out. I mean let's push the main event. But after the Hart-Nash match broke down, Sid walked to the ring and chokeslammed and powerbombed Hart. That's how you build heat. Make us want to order the PPV.

That's how you top off a good show. Now if they would just bring Piper back to a Piper's Pit type of gimmick. Well, I can't have everything.

Mr. Mean
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Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission