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Mr. Mean

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WCW THOUGHTS

If it's broke, fix it. In a pair of whirlwind shows, WCW is at least attempting to right its ship. It didn't show in the Monday night ratings but things can't be turned around in one evening. Or even two. WCW will have to make a long-term effort to build upon this week.

Nitro and Thunder emphasized, get this, storyline development! Did WCW kidnap the WWF's writers? Well, that's going too far. There were some hits and a few misses, too.

Let's get on with it. We have a lot to cover.

Akin to a struggling major league baseball team bringing in new talent, WCW has brought in some fresh faces to try and make its comeback. We'll take a look at them first, followed by everything else.

Right off the top, Scott Hudson joined the announce team at Nitro. Eric Bischoff, if you're listening, keep him there! Hudson was great, so much better than Tony Schiavone.

Norman Smiley isn't exactly new to WCW but he had been gone for some time. The master of the butt slap dance returned Monday to face Lodi, who along with his "brother" Lenny signed their new WCW contracts. I guess this is WCW's way of swerving away from the gay angle - maybe. Smiley won and then did his dance. Lenny and Lodi copied him. Have they really moved away from the gay angle? It didn't look that way to me.

The next new character to show up is Robert Wuhl, HBO's Arliss. Well, Arliss provides color commentary for Randy Savage-Billy Kidman match. I say Arliss because Wuhl was in full character mode. I really don't care but this guy is in an actor and I enjoyed his commentary.

This whole segment was a doozy. First, the Macho Man got on the stick and told Kevin Nash again that he was a dead man. That keeps their feud alive. Then in a stab at Hulk Hogan, the Macho Man announces his candidacy for president in the year 2000!! Al Gore and George W, just withdraw from the race. You haven't got a chance against the Madness! Besides, if you stay in the race, Randy and Sid will spike piledrive you! Savage is just too funny. Next, he calls out Kidman and we have a match.

Arliss says, "The passion of this man knows no bound." This match had some nice spots, thanks to Kidman and Miss Madness. Outside the ring, Miss Madness drop-kicked Kidman right into a Savage clothesline. Miss Madness nailed Savage with a missile drop-kick that was meant for Kidman. This girl has talent. More on that later. Savage hits the piledriver, then a bodyslam. Then he hits the top rope elbow. That means it's over.....no! Savage pulls him up. The ref gives him a hard time and Savage slugs him. What took you so long, Randy? After a second elbow, Dennis Rodman, dressed like a pimp, runs in and clocks Savage with a purse! Savage sold it like he got hit by a boulder. All chaos broke out in the ring, with Arliss wanting to match them up in a pay per view. Madusa ran in to fight Miss Madness. Savage threatened to make Rodman his bitch. What on earth did he mean by that? It was funny.

There are a lot of possibilities here. Savage continued the angles on Thunder, telling the crowd they will vote for him in 2000. Then he told them he was the greatest of all time. Did he just become Muhammad Ali? He then challenged Rodman. Next, he "fired" Madusa. I think we knew that already. Then it got interesting. Savage ripped the sash off Miss Madness, stripping her of that title. Apparently, Miss Madness got to be too big of a star. "It's all about me!" said Savage. He then told Miss Madness to get on her knees and beg for her job. She complied. Didn't matter. Savage "fired" her anyway and then grabbed her by the chin and bullied her around the ring. This resuming of the domestic violence angle is bound to stir some controversy again. I'll admit to being a Savage mark but I didn't like it. Just to make sure he didn't leave anyone out, he trashed Nash again.

The removal of Madusa and Miss Madness seems to herald the beginnings of a women's division. Earlier in the evening, Miss Madness and Brandi Alexander had a terrific match that drew tons of heat. It was one of the best wrestling matches I've ever seen on WCW. Miss Madness went over cleanly with a bridge suplex. I kept waiting for the Madusa run-in that didn't happen.

There are still more new faces to contend with. Konnan got a return bout against the newly pushed Vampiro. Would I get to see Konnan get punked again? To quote Marv Albert, yes! Raven climbed up on the ring apron and watched the Insane Clown Posse stage the run-in that made Konnan a DQ winner. That's all K-Dog, he of the fading heat, won. Rey Mysterio ran in to help Konnan to no avail. Vampiro landed two Juvi drivers in this melee. Raven, Vampiro and the ICP make an interesting group.

Finally, we had the long awaited debut of Shane Douglas. Curt Hennig and Barry Windham took on Chris Benoit and Perry Saturn. Of course, Benoit and Saturn carried Hennig and Windham to a good match. The inevitable DQ happens. Dean Malenko comes out but the Rap is Crap crew continues the beatdown until Douglas makes the save. What happened to the Rap vs. Country feud? Douglas gets on the stick and says he's joining forces with his former ECW buddies. Well, he didn't SAY ECW but....still. The problem with this is WCW did nothing to really introduce Douglas, who didn't draw a huge amount of heat because the crowd didn't seem to know who he was. Yet WCW a few years ago did a gigantic build up to Glacier, who turned out to be a very forgettable, mediocre mid-carder. WCW would have been better holding Douglas out for a while and prepare the fans for his debut. Oh, well.

Are we done yet? No way.

Lenny and Lodi are funny. They were mortified to learn Thursday they would have to wrestle Sid in a handicap match. They asked Jimmy Hart for advice. Hart told them to have a doctor at ringside because they would need one. Right before the mismatch started, announcer Mike Tenay said, "They could end up handicapped after this match." The match: powerbomb squash. Lenny covered his "brother" and Sid put the big boot on them for the pin.

Eddie Guerrero's comeback continued. WCW brought him in to be a heel but the crowds want to cheer for him. They have a great match, hardly unexpected. Eddie wins but gets punked by Villano V and La Parka, who are still seething over the stolen wallet angle. Rey Jr. makes the save! He and Eddie warily shake hands. I guess the LWO stuff is forgotten.

The laugh meter ratcheted up when Buff Bagwell came out with someone in a Sonny Onoo mask and a Nitro girl and did his Ernest Miller imitation, replete with darkened skin and ruby reds. This was really funny. The real Miller comes out and despite Buff blocking a briefcase shot, Miller pulls out a ruby red and knocks Buff out. Onoo counts the "pin." This is obviously heading for a PPV where Buff should get his revenge. But where did his push go?

Hennig got some serious mic time Thursday and challenged Goldberg to a match next Monday. He trashed the group Megadeth, calling them Megacrap. That must mean a Country vs. Metal feud is around the corner, probably after Hennig does the job to Goldberg. Oddly, Hennig referred to his group as the West Texas Outlaws, not rednecks. The announcers ignored it. Oh, yeah. Hennig did have a match Thursday, beating Chase Tatum with a perfectplex after Swoll's heart punch aimed at Hennig hit Tatum instead.

We got more hints of a Harlem Heat reunion Monday as this time Booker T made the save after Stevie Ray got laid out by the Triad after he pinned Kanyon following a horrible Pedigree. Who taught him that move? Certainly not HHH. Booker ran out to save his brother after Stevie's nWo mates stayed in the back. I guess it's time for Booker to carry his bro again.

Okay, let's return to Eddie and Rey. They had a great tag team match against Juvi and Psychosis. This thing moved so fast that I couldn't recap it right now if I tried. Eddie is way over. The question in this match was whether Eddie and Ray would work well together. After Rey inadvertently splashed Eddie, I waited for the 3-on-1 beatdown. Nope. Eddie vaulted Rey onto the top rope and he executed the hurancarana on Psychosis and pinned him. After the match, Eddie helped Rey put on the cruiserweight strap. Rey will defend that belt some time in the next 10 years. I didn't even know WCW still had a cruiserweight division.

Ric Flair, soon to be taking a vacation, got a typical win over Malenko after DDP ran in. That was a funny spot. DDP attempted a diamond cutter on Malenko, who had Flair in the Texas cloverleaf. But Malenko knocked DDP into Asya, who was on the ring apron. Flair then rolled up Malenko for the pin, which seemed unrelated to the DDP-Asya bump. Did they botch this a little bit?

If you think I'm leaving out Ric Steiner, you're right. I am. If you want to know why, write me.

I'm violating all the reverse pyramid style I used as a sports writer and saving the best for last.

Sting and Ric Flair wrestled for the "presidency" of WCW. These two always have great matches. This one was no different. I'm not going to recap it. CRZ already did it and did it well. There were some good spots. Sting took Charles Robinson out with a scorpion death drop immediately. So much for a biased referee.

Flair did his usual flips, flops and such. Sting was at his no-selling best. The second ref gets yanked out of the ring and punked by Arn. Sting punked Arn. Sting splashed both Flair and yet another ref. Asya got splashed. Sting has Flair in the scorpion deathlock but the refs are all asleep. Bischoff comes in and orders the bell. Here comes Sid! Double clothesline on Bischoff and Sting. Bischoff only semi-sells and Sid powerbombs him. Nice bump to get you over as a face, Uncle Eric! Then Hogan comes out for the save. Anyone else in the lockerroom want to run in? Whew! I'm still not going to mention the TV chump, er champ, but he did face Horace Hogan. This is important only because Nash interfered, bringing out Uncle Hollywood, so he and Nash could pump up their feud.

Speaking of Flair, where was that fighting U.S. champ David Flair? Not on my TV screen. I think WCW has taken the angle of David as U.S. champ as far as it can go. They should get that strap off him as soon as possible. That could happen when his daddy heads to Japan to watch young son Reid compete in a wrestling tournament. They should put the belt on Douglas so he can build some heat. But remember, the Hulkster is back. If they hand that belt over to Ed Leslie or Horace, I'll quit watching WCW. Ahhh, donUt take my word for that. I wouldn't want to give up the best comedy on TV.

Ah, finally, the Nitro main event: Hogan defends against Sid. Near the end, Hogan is getting ready to pin Sid when Nash runs in. Now I don't want to hear anyone complain about this being the umpteenth Nitro main event in a row "ruined" by a run in. Get used to it. The run-in is a required ingredient. To quote Nature Boy Ric Flair, whether you like it or don't like, learn to live with it!

I am saving the VERY best for last. Nash had a phone interview Thursday night and challenged Hogan to a tag team match. Big Sexy said he had a surprise partner that he has known for nine years. Come on Kev! What surprise? It's Scott Hall!! Yes, I'm the biggest Hall mark on the planet. The bad guy is coming back and now I'm happy. Hey yo to all of you and if we should ever meet, I will flick a toothpick at you!

Mr. Mean
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Guest column text copyright (C) 1999 by the individual author and used with permission