Campaign 2000 hasn't hit all cylinders yet but there is already mudslinging.

In wrestling, that is.

The mud was really being slung on Monday Nitro. And the ones that got splattered didn't bother cleaning up either. The sight of the Harris twins standing before Vince Russo and covered with mud from head to toe was one for the ages.

Okay, before we go any further, we weren't TOLD that was Vince Russo. But we have HEARD his voice. We have SEEN his right arm being waved. And we now have heard his NAME uttered by Roddy Piper. And we just KNOW that he isn't booking himself over. He told us so! Nah, I don't believe him either.

One thing is for sure, however. Roddy Piper stole the show Monday. Also clicking solidly were Curt Hennig, Lex Luger, Jeff Jarrett, Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, Goldberg and Sid Vicious. I just reeled off a bunch of names, which means you might think I'm calling it a solid effort. And let's don't forget Ed Ferrara taking a beatdown from Vampiro and the Misfits and selling it superbly.

It was a solid effort all around and it kept me laughing for three hours. I did click the remote several times to see if my beloved San Francisco 49ers could score a touchdown. At least I got to laugh from the wrestling. This year, the 49ers just make me sad. But just wait until next year when a returning Steve Young is flinging passes to Peter Warrick. At least I can dream. Now back to the wrestling.

What can you say about Sid announcing that he's the new babyface in town? Lady Diamond Cutter thinks he loves it. "Watch the look on his face when the fans cheer him," she says. I think Sid is a mark for his own character. But that's fine with me. That little scrap at the beginning between he and Goldberg against the Outsiders was a riot. Hall continues to amuse. He's over just for saying "hey, yo." Listen to the crowd pop when he does.

Okay, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, let's hit the highlights.

I've got to say that the Harris twins are coming across great as clumsy henchmen. It was funny to hear Russo dress them down after Midnight took them out again. I wonder if anybody got the Omega Man reference. That was an old Charlton Heston set after a biological holocaust where some people had to wear sunglasses all the time. And then to have Curt Hennig, who is trying to be Russo's No. 2, let them have it too. So Russo says Hennig will take on Midnight. Hennig didn't look too thrilled. What happened to his retirement angle?

I wonder if Jarrett gets his guitars by the dozens like the way major league baseball players get Louisville Sluggers. That first one he busted on Mike Tenay's head was priceless. Give Tenay credit for knowing how to sell. He looked dead. I would have preferred Jarrett taking out Tony Schiavone so that Shane Douglas could do some heel play-by-play. This is nothing against Schiavone as a person. It's just that Douglas is so much better.

It sure looks like Juvi Guerrera is getting a push, especially being put over the great Jushin Liger. Yes, he had to bust a bottle of tequila on Liger's noggin, but a win is win. Remember that it's all in the booking.

I like Perry Saturn's goofy turn and the way Dean Malenko reacts to it. The deal with the snake nicknames was too funny. But, please, don't have Jim Duggan come out with a foam two-by-four. That was just awful and VERY obvious.

Did anyone think there wouldn't be a ref bump and a Kevin Nash run-in during the Sid-Hall match? Even though you could see it coming a mile away, it was still fun. Add in the Jarrett run-in and guitar smash on Sid and the Goldberg save and you have an entertaining segment.

Jerry Only of the Misfits had the misfortune of tangling with Steve Williams and came out with 10 stitches as reported by MiCasa. What a stiff worker! Wait till Williams and Vampiro lock up. That's going to be fun to watch. I wonder if Ferrara sold that beating as a way to say he can take it as well as dish it out. Will Russo sell when the anti-PTB angle finally arrives? He keep talking about putting the wrestlers over. We'll see about that.

Say what you want about Brian Knobbs. He got tremendous heel heat on the mic when he called out Norman Smiley. And that was just a riot the way Smiley cowered in fear of Fit Finlay. Then to see Finlay destroy Knobbs really topped it off. It was also a nice touch when the announcers reminded us that it was Knobbs who caused Finlay's terrible leg injury so that we would think there was heat between the two.

The Bret Hart-Meng match was as good as you might expect. Meng did a lot of selling for Hart. But he also hit a tremendous piledriver. Meng's piledriver rates with the best. I'm talking about the likes of Paul Orndorff, Harley Race and Ric Flair. The run-ins by Hall and Nash were great, keeping the building between them and Hart. Chris Benoit got to play superhero again, saving his fellow Canadian. I don't mind that. Benoit was buried in the mid-card for too many years.

And that push for Benoit continued in the three-way dance with Sting and Jarrett. Would you believe that Jarrett got in ANOTHER guitar shot? Dumb question. But Dustin Rhodes hit Jarrett with the ring bell so that evens that. Luger gets in a cheap chair shot on Sting, too. And Benoit gets another title shot, yeah!

I didn't think Piper rolling around in the mud with that big woman was very funny but it got better when the Harris twins got pulled in! Piper is way over with this angle.

It was sure good to see Arn Anderson back on my TV set. Now he's shooting on Russo, too. His later involvement with the Hennig-Midnight match was great. But Arn, watch the thumb across the throat gesture. That'll get you 15 yards and a substantial fine. Whoops, that's the NFL.

Luger, wearing his "$3,000" suit, brought Liz out and dumped her in the mud pit. Now did anyone think Luger WASN'T going to end up in the mud himself? Me either. Sting's presence saw to that. But it looks like he's warming up to Liz. I smell a swerve that will only further enhance Luger's cowardly heel angle.

I liked the triangle tag match in the cage. All the main event players were here or ran in. A mud-splattered Piper was the special referee. Hall still had mud on him after an earlier attack by Piper. Perhaps the water was cut off back stage?

Jarrett wheeled that cart of guitars down to the ring area. But he had no intention of running in, right? A guitar for Goldberg. A guitar for Piper. If guitar shots are like home runs, I wonder if Jarrett has passed Mark McGwire yet. And how about that diving headbutt off the top of the cage by Benoit on Hall! Jimmy Snuka would be proud of this guy.

I'm going to go into retro for a moment. I would have enjoyed seeing Colonel DeBeers march down to the ring with an armful of stretchers. Then he could have laid out everyone with tombstone piledrivers. I did like the old AWA. DeBeers was the first heel I ever marked out for.

Now back to the present. Hall and Nash got to deliver their finishers on Goldberg and Sid respectively. Darn it. Sid's a babyface now and he's not powerbombing referees anymore. Jarrett got to deliver his finisher on Benoit. The bad guys got the heat this week.

I guess that means that next week the faces will get revenge. Will anybody wash off their mud in the meantime?

Until them, I've got two words for you: hey yo!