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/wrestling /guests /Mr. Mean |
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/wrestling /guests /Mr. Mean |
| Guest Columns | Mr. Mean |
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THE SONG DOESN'T REMAIN THE SAME Bret Hart grumbled about "a couple of new guys" showing up and as Led Zeppelin wouldn't put it - the song doesn't remain the same. A new era dawned in WCW during Monday Nitro with the new creative team of Vince Russo and Ed Ferrara running the show. To say things are different is a huge understatement. Russo and Ferrara have even written themselves into the storylines. So much happened, I don't even know where to begin. It was great. I didn't stop laughing for three hours. Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, Shane Douglas and Buff Bagwell were outrageously funny. A corporate Sid Vicious wasn't too bad either. Torrie and Kimberly were easy on the eyes. Ha! It's big push time and a heel turn for the Filthy Animals. And how about Jeff Jarrett's immediate impact? Everything about the show is different now. There was a lot of backstage stuff, interviews and guest commentating. Bobby Heenan turned again, dropping his heel announcer mode. They sure are playing up to the Internet smarks, too. I do wonder how that's going to affect the mark-filled arena crowds who probably think Russo and Ferrara is a law firm. And what about the absence of Hulk Hogan? I want to ponder that for a moment. I was quick to say last week that Hogan's promo with Gene Mean was a shoot. Now I hear all this stuff about it being a "worked shoot" or something to that effect. Okay, then somebody explain how you hype Hogan's match with Sting on Halloween Havoc by NOT having Hogan on Nitro. Well, Hart was there and he let us know quickly that a new era had dawned. The opening match had Evan Karagias taking on Juvented Guerrera. Yawn. I would have sent in Sid. That would have looked cool seeing Sid powerbomb them while wearing a suit. Instead we got Hart, who entered the ring holding the stick. It seems that somebody in the back said he couldn't have any interview time, so he was going to make his own time. He said backstage politics were preventing him from getting a shot at Hogan. Sting appeared on the entryway and told Hart, "Promises don't always come true in this business." Now that's a shoot remark! Sting then said he had something better to offer: a shot at the world title. Sting is beginning to sound like the heel he is supposed to be. I think we know why Sid climbed out of that limo with three other suits. Bill Goldberg did something last week he shouldn't have done. "See, it's in black and white. He's not supposed to touch me," Sid said. The "lawyers" agreed. Wow. Goldberg could lose his U.S. title shot. I'm sure that just breaks his heart. Russo, if you're listening, put that belt on a deserving mid-carder and push him. The main event guys don't need that belt to get or stay over. Vampiro would agree that the song didn't remain the same after Disco Inferno squashed him very quickly. That led to guest commentator Lash LeRoux, who is getting a push, punking out Disco. By the way, Hall does a much better Hispanic accent than LeRoux does trying to sound Cajun. Goldberg told Larry Z that he doesn't care about Sid and his lawyers and that the song would remain the same. Madusa is mad and she isn't going to take it anymore. She won't wrestle in an evening gown match with Mona. Bagwell interrupted the Nitro girl search thing by saying the Internet says he's the next superstar. Yeah, the little girls squealed but there were a lot of boos. "It's all in the stroke," Bagwell said. Billy Squier said that a long time ago. Larry Z interviewed Mona, who has no problem with an evening gown match. Kimberly came on to David Flair, handing him a motel room key. Of course, when Kimberly got there, out of the shower came RIC Flair. Now THAT was funny. I guess Ric got the key from David? This is setting up a nice program with DDP. The last time they did something like that, DDP was superb as the jealous husband in attacking Billy Kidman. Now we have new tag team champions in Rey Mysterio and Konnan. The K-Dog sure came a long way after last week's squash to Meng. Naturally, the rest of the FA's did guest commentary and helped out by distracting Booker T so that the Rey and Konnan could get a double team pin. The First Family watched on a monitor with great interest. The FA's celebrated backstage and were confronted by the First Family, who demanded the Halloween Havoc title shot they were supposed to get against Harlem Heat. Konnan told them to get in line. Hall and Nash arrived to a huge pop as they took their ringside seats while Meng disposed of Hugh Morrus. Crank up the laugh meter from here on out. Sid, flanked by his lawyers, said Goldberg lost his chance because of last week's spear. That brought an enraged Goldberg to the ring. Goldberg tried to spear Sid but got a "lawyer" instead. That opened it up for Sid to sidekick and then powerbomb Goldberg! Now Sid says the match is back on because he wants to kick Goldberg's ass. As Goldberg left the ring, Hall and Nash taunted him. Hall flicked a toothpick (yes!) at Goldberg and the fracas was on. That led to Hall and Nash being ejected from the arena. As they were led away Hall said, "He shoved me. I didn't do anything......What a buzz killer." Unbelievably funny! It's hard to imagine Sid facing Goldberg without a Rick Steiner run-in. Now if only Atlanta Braves relief ace John Rocker could run in to help Goldberg. It won't happen Sunday because of the World Series. But how about a few weeks from now? Actually, Rocker, who is a big wrestling fan, would make a great heel. Look at the heat he got from Mets fans. He's not bad on the mic either. If Rocker isn't available, how about Atlanta Falcons cornerback Ray Buchanan? He knows how to deliver a bodyslam. We got yet another backstage interview during which Hart told Mike Tenay that if he won the title, Hogan would still get a shot. At that point, Sting attacked. An interview run-in. I love it. It reminded me of the old Championship Wrestling from Florida days. Hall and Nash are complaining about being tossed. Nash said he left his cold and flu medication inside. That was a strange match between Steiner and Berlyn. Because of Berlyn's presence, Steiner got babyface heat. Then Brad Armstrong runs in to confront Berlyn but never touches him. But the distraction caused the BWNN to crack Steiner over the head with a chair, leading to Berlyn's win. BA is profusely apologetic but Steiner punks him all the way to the back. I just can't wait for the Berlyn-BA match, sigh. Oops! Hall and Nash have back in the building and are looking for Goldberg. Hall assures Nash they aren't on TV. He must have missed that cameraman right in front of them. Everybody's looking for somebody. Goldberg himself was stalking Sid. He ran across the ICP! The clowns won't tell him where Sid is, so they get punked. Lex Luger babbles to Larry Z in yet another locker room promo that he isn't scared of Goldberg. No sir! Then they did a revenge match. David Flair simmered while Kidman strutted to ring with Torrie on his arm. Torrie is wearing a mink coat. Gosh, there's no chance she's going to take that robe off, is there? The funny thing was, David got in some offense, including a nice looking DDT. But, yup, Torrie climbed on the apron and revealed her lingerie. A furious David tried to cover her up and that was all she wrote. David got the Vampiro treatment, a knee to the face from the top rope. Sigh. Kidman should either execute that move properly or quit doing it before somebody gets hurt real bad. Oh yeah. The FA's laid out Flair. Hall and Nash are still looking for Goldberg. Nash asks Gene Mean if he wants some Nyquil. I wonder if Nyquil paid for the advertising. Hall is wearing a Jason Williams uniform top. Ric Flair is back and asks where the party is. He doesn't what happened to David yet. Schiavone plays to the smarks again by saying, "The new creative team has put their stamp on Nitro like never before." The marks for sure didn't have the foggiest notion what he was talking about. Mona beat Madusa thanks in part to a ref bump. Afterwards, Madusa ranted on the stick and got bleeped. Who cares? Schiavone complained about an unsafe work environment as Sting and Hart got a little close to the announce table. I'm waiting for the Spanish announce table to be brought in. The usual happened here. Liz distracted the ref and Luger laid in the baseball bat shot on Hart's leg. Sting clamped on the scorpion deathlock and Hart tapped out immediately. You didn't expect a clean job, did you? Ric Flair jacked up his son upon learning about what happened earlier. Hall and Nash are still lurking. This time they are wearing Villano masks so Dillenger and company won't recognize them! "We are looking for Senor Goldberg," Hall said, easily the line of the night. It reminds me of Wile E. Coyote's disguises. What a hoot! So Hall and Nash have joined the Villanos. Does that make them 6 and 7? I couldn't stop laughing at Bagwell's break kayfabe angle. The Stuff laid down for LaParka, mocking himself in the process. Then he grabbed the stick from Tony and said, "Hey Russo did I do a good job for you?" Bagwell went back in the ring and laid down, his arms spread wide. Jarrett made his debut and smacked Bagwell with a guitar. "Hey, Buff! I got your stroke right here," Jarrett said, pointing to his crotch. As he walked to the back, Jarrett muttered, "You want to talk about stroke, Vince?" Did he mean Russo or McMahon? Meanwhile, a bunch of the "guys in the back" watched on a monitor and loved every minute of it. What a funny angle! Hall and Nash are still confronting security. "We are looking for Senor Goldberg," Hall said again. Hall pretended not to understand Dillenger. "No speak ingles," Hall said, as my laughing volume rose yet again. Douglas joined the commentary team for the three-way dance between Eddie Guerrero, Chavo Guerrero and Perry Saturn. He said the Revolution is fine. "Benoit and Malenko are in Japan getting their heads together," Douglas said. "There is no dissension." The rest of the FA's menaced Douglas and attacked Saturn. Douglas, his right arm in a cast after biceps surgery, wasn't going to fight but he kicked into high gear on the mic. "Why don't you get 20 more people from the crowd!" Douglas thundered. Douglas was just superb on the mic. And how about Saturn's double superplex on Eddie and Chavo! Ouch, that looked nasty. Did I say the show was great? I did but what was the deal having Horace versus Norman Smiley right before the main event? Smiley whined like a baby throughout this hardcore match but won when Horace threw himself through a table. Ric Flair was furious about what the FA's did to his son, so he called them out to do the same thing to him. Well, he didn't really say that but it's what he got. David tried to help, so he ended up getting beat up again. This segment spoke volumes. The FA's are getting pushed and Ric Flair is getting pushed toward the exit. I just don't know about that. It's sad seeing that happen to the Nature Boy, who has carried WCW for ages. I remember when he was a real bad ass, one of the best heels ever. Of course, Hall is carrying the company on his back now. He said so, yeah! Luger went to fetch Liz for the main event but, sorry Lex, she can't make it. Jarrett's broken calling card is next to her still body. It looks like Double J has brought his gimmick over from the WWF. Luger is distraught. Now Liz can't distract the ref. But I thought Luger wasn't scared of Goldberg. No sir, not Lex. Hall and Nash finally found Goldberg during the main event but got no further than the top of the entryway. Nash was so sick, he fell over. Gosh, those guys are funny. Did I say they were funny earlier? Yeah, I did. I'm sure none of you expected a clean finish. Didn't think so. That means we get a ref bump. Yep. Luger whips Goldberg into the ref. That allows Sting to come down and whack Goldberg with the baseball bat. Good move. That will help Sting get some heel heat. Now it's time for John Rocker to run in. No, sorry. We get Hart instead. Hart grabs the bat from Sting and goes to town. But he eventually smacked the ring post, breaking the bat. Now in the ring, Hart puts Sting in the sharpshooter. Luger broke it up and went to rack Hart. Uh, Lex, Hart isn't in the match. Once again, Luger is going to rack the WRONG man. What happened to the stupid ref? As Luger is getting Hart, a recovered Goldberg spears him. Then comes the jackhammer and the win. My head is spinning. Hart raises Goldberg's hand. Their last angle in which Goldberg speared Hart's metal chest protector is forgotten. Whew! I hope Nash feels better.
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