Hi, hello, and welcome to your column... the People's Column. I'm your party host Andy and today it's a pretty weak column (hey, it was my birthday yesterday... I'm LAZY... plus it's final exam week and I'm stressed). On the menu this week... letters, Raw vs Nitro, answers, a new People's Hall of Famer, and other stuff I decide to add (kind of like when you go to Arby's and they stick a plain french fry in your curly fries).

The high school football update you care nothing about... Brunswick High wins! BHS basically romped over the "unstopable" Parkview this past Friday, and heads to the state championship semifinals in the Georgia Dome this Saturday night against Chattahoochee. It's on public television too... which is good, because I'm not going.

This Week in Wrestling History won't be up until tomorrow, for those of you keeping track.

Major props (I've been hanging with Too Cool again) to Mr. T for the serious plugging in his last column. I'm down with T, fool. Did you and the other T have to ditch itty bitty though?

No other comments here in the opener... I told you this was a weak column this week.

I GET LETTERS TOO

Letter #1:

Happy Birthday ! Wait until you hit 32 ! I think AC Jazz wouldn't date anyone my age either. Not that I care. Since you and Chae are having a torrid love affair and Kimberly's married. That leaves Fyre for little old me, except for one little detail. I'm married too. Feh. The WWF really chumped me out and I bought that Tuesday in Texas debacle back in the day. Actually it was cool then, if I watched it now I would probably accuse myself of being an even worse mark than I am now. Randy Savage is my all time favorite wrestler and Liz is my all time favorite Sports Entertainment " babe ". I only mark out for Liz now though. I prefer to remember Macho differently than he isnow.

So there ya go bub ! Don't spend too much money at the strip joint next Tuesday ! Heh Heh. Have a great birthday.

Shawn Colto

Hey, thanks for the birthday wishes. "Don't spend too much money at the strip joint"... heh heh. "Torrid love affair"... hmmmmmmmm.

And that's the only letter... for up here at least.

RAW vs NITRO

Raw is "Al?" - I thought Raw was cool this week, but I always say that. I'm enjoying the heel push of Al, and HHH continues his super cool bad guy. I was about to do some major marking out if Too Cool would have won the tag titles, but nooooooooo. And yes, I did chuckle A LITTLE at Mae Young. I'm still ready for her and Moolah to get off my TV as soon as possible.

Nitro is LARRY? - What's up with having to watch Larry wrestle? Let the guy play golf and keep him off of the TV. Isn't Konnan's name spelled "K-Dogg?" Not if you ask the "WCW Mayhem" CD commercial, then you have to take away the second (or first) g. Didn't we JUST see this angle with the referees walking out? I'm glad that the Powers to Be are going to stay off camera, because I'd hate to see one of them go as far as actually put themselves in a match.

ANSWERS TO THE UNANSWERED QUESTIONS

Hey, people actually sent me answers to my questions last week! And because I have no time to write my own frickin' column... here they are! The first part of the letter has nothing to do with answers, but hey.

Answers #1:

Hey there! It's good to see another People's Column on the site (er, I should say "another edition of the People's Column", unless somebody's ripped off the name), since I couldn't think of anything else to mail you about on the last one :)> (that's a smiling wise man, BTW--he's my second trademark ASCII art, next to____\231).

Anyway, here's some random stuff I'd like to bring up.

This Year in 90s Wrestling is gonna have it's own column! Whoohooo! Is it gonna be as long as usual, or will you be putting more time into it and make it longer (that didn't sound right)?

CyanIndigo and Michaelangelo continue to annoy the &*$#^ out of their readers...oh, well. Guess there's nothing we can do about it until Mike goes too far in one of his references and gets dumped (or whatever you want to call it, since it's an online thing).

D'Lo isn't going to Dubba Say Dubba! Yahoo! Alright! (PaRappa the Rapper reference, if any of you haveplayed the game...)

And here's the answers to all them wacky questions. I did what I usually do when there's a question on a test that I'm completely stumped on: Make a smart-aleck remark and hope I get half credit for being original (course, it never works, but...:)> )

Who was driving the hummer? Me!

Who pushed Mankind in the boiler room with the pole? Oh, you didn't know this one? It was the British Bulldog! He was helping out Triple H, just like he did reffing the next match!

How did Head get that railroad spike out of itself? Um...insect politics (don't ask, just leave it atthat)

Does the Big Show still play around with monstertrucks in his spare time? No, but I can think of something else he plays around with in his spare time...

When's the last time The Rock actually ate Chef Boyardee Overstuffed Beef Ravioli? The last time he was around the guys who work at Chef Boyardee...hey, I LIKE that stuff, actually.

What exactly was so powerful about that urn? It's made of really hard bronze (or whatever it is).

Did Crash Holly ever experiment with racing? No, but I think they call him Crash because he usually gets squashed (crashed...that was a joke...). Makes sense for him to be related to Sparky Plugg, though.

When the Warrior leaves Wal-Mart, does a big poof ofsmoke appear? Warrior sez: I......AM......SHAZAAAAM!

Does Berlyn do that dorky dance when he goes clubbin'? I'm not going to answer this one out of my respect forseals.

What is shiznit? The world may never know.

Who wears the pants in the family, Rena or Marc? I don't think anybody wears pants in that family.

Does Mide-a-i-on still hog farm? Let's hope not. Oh, it's spelled Midaieoun, BTW.

Every once in a while, does Dave Hebner referee instead of Earl? I can never tell the difference.

Did Nailz get sent back to jail? Probably for being such an awful wrestler.W

hy DO the fans boo Kurt Angle? Because they're the same come-to-say Suck-It-pop-for- the-Stunner-and-get-their-sign-on-TV WWF fans. You know what'd be cool, though? If they became as smart as the ECW fans...(it's never gonna happen, but I've heard a couple WWF crowds yell "Wooooo!" after a chop)

Did Rashiki learn to dance from Yokozuna, who he apparently learned everything else from? Yokozuna sez: Rashiki....I am your father...

Does Lord Steven Regal still squeeze his own orange juice and chop his own wood? This one's too suggestive for me to answer.

Is Steve Austin still the Million Dollar Champion? Well, he's not champion anymore, so I guess not.

How did Al Snow ever get out of all of that fencing he was wrapped up in at St. Valentine's Day Massacre? The EMTs were going to help him out, but he made a remark about Barbara Bush, so they changed their minds. I think he just rolled in the opposite direction.

What do those symbols on the Acolytes' chests mean? Maaa raaa muuu...

Why isn't Jerry Lawler offended anymore when Burger King sponsors Raw? Because he sued them after they placed feces in his order, and has nothing against them anymore.

What happened to the spanish announce table? It retired and went to the People's Hall of Fame.

Who was the photographer that threw the fire in Hulk Hogan's eyes at KOTR '94? Me!

Did Sid's record for the millennium end or what? No, but he'll start to think it's 1900 *rim shot*

And there you have it. Conclusive proof that I'm really bored.

James Gowdey

Answers #2:

In response to one of your unanswered questions:

"What happened to the crazy people that were with Ric Flair at the mental institution?" Well, I believe that one of them is holding the US belt right now :) oh, and btw, I really miss Triple A...

Keep up the good work, and Happy almost Birthday!

Torri

Thanks both of you for the answers! And thanks for the birthday wishes, too.

THE PEOPLE'S HALL OF FAME

This week's inductee is JERRY LAWLER, because I haven't heard him say "puppies" over and over and over for a whole match in a while and that's a good thing.

That's it for this week. All e-mail is loved. Keep your head in the ground and your feet in the stars.