[slash] wrestling, is that you? Hey ya'll! First and foremost, I'm sorry I pretty much abandoned "This Week in Wrestling" for so long (CRZ probably enjoyed not having to format that thing every week though). Basically, I had a whole lot of things going on with college and that took up time I would usually spend doing my column here. Even my webpage has been neglected, and I used to update that every single day. I think it's had three updates in a month. Anywho, I'm back this week with "The People's Column." The big thing is that I will not say this is going to be weekly, because I'm sure it won't be. After all, I said "This Week in Wrestling" would be weekly, and I'm pretty sure I missed at least one week every month.

The next "People's Column" I'm planning is going to be the first in a series of four or five and will be a WWF vs WCW vs ECW type of thing. Wait, don't groan yet. One week, I'll compare every aspect of their respective websites (probably that one first). Another week, the magazines. Another week, the actual televised product. Another week, the personalities. Another week, the merchandise. I'm looking forward to it and I've been planning it for a while.

Okay, let's get rolling with today's column. This week, I'll expose the answer to one of wrestling's biggest questions! I had a column about who actually hit Stone Cold going, but the WWF decided to wrap-up that answer already, so you get "Who's the father of Stacy's baby?" instead. Alright, let's look at the candidates.

First and foremost, we know it's probably not one of the obvious. Out with Ric Flair, Crowbar, and Mike Awesome. Out with Mark Madden. Remember the scene in "The Nutty Professor" where Professor Klump was on top of the woman kissing her on the beach and he was so heavy that it made her sink into the sand? There you go. Actually, it'll probably end up being Russo, but I'm just going to go with my hopes and say it's not him. So, here's how our suspects line up:

Ralphus - Does this not reek of WCW? The sad thing is, there's probably a chance that the father IS Ralphus.

David Crosby - Are you telling me you don't think Russo would shell out the money to get Crosby to come on air and say he did? Come on, he had GARY COLEMAN on the show. David Crosby isn't that much of a stretch. Speaking of which...

David Arquette - What woman wouldn't fall for a former World heavyweight champion? While Courtney Cox-Arquette was out filming that movie, Stacy was probably falling all over David Arquette. Do you see the way he seduces those women in the 1-800-CALL-ATT commercials? She probably fell for the ol' blue chalk mustache.

Dustin Runnels - Wasn't he supposed to reappear as "Platinum" a few months ago? This might actually be a smart choice for WCW (is he even with WCW still?). In other words, you can rule this one out.

Jimmy Hart - Oh, he's been making music alright...

Hulk Hogan - Come on, the guy has to be in the spotlight. He might be behind this whole deal. Then again, would he want bad publicity like this? Doubtful. Never mind.

Lenny Lane - She DID hang out with him and Lodi for a while, and Lenny did win his way back into WCW. Okay, so we never saw him again after he did win his way back in, but he might've been backstage or something.

Bret Hart - He's had that concussion so he might not remember anything happening.

Randy Savage - Could this be a way to bring "Macho" back? It's not like WCW had demanded that Slim Jim take him out of those promotional consideration ads or anything...

Break in story: I would like to thank Coastal Georgia Community College for taking the time to spell Mark McGwire's name wrong in their local TV ad. Colleges always look better when you spell it "McGuire." Okay, where was I?

Scott Hall - Once again, a possible way to reintroduce the guy onto the show... which means it's not him.

Gene Mean - Hey, how long until Pamela Paulshock is showing too? And you thought The Godfather had things going right...

Kwee-Wee - It's a stupid choice... so it was probably him.

La Parka - Hey, where's he been lately? Hmmmm... could the chairman have found a way to throw a bed into his act? He is already popular...

Marc Mero - After all, it made perfect sense to have him sit front row and involve him in a storyline for one night. But what would the kids at home think, Rena? Wait... who's Rena? And whatever happened to that woman who sued the WWF who said she was going to be a big movie star?

Well, that's the front runners. Now, let's take a quick look at who else it definitely IS NOT: Tony Schiavonie - too ewww ... Roddy Piper - bad hip(s) ... Vampiro - too busy jobbing ... DDP - the man has Kimberly (well, not in the storylines), what more does he need? ... Master P - too busy bling blingin' (yes, I am hip-hop) ... Barry Windham - nah, he'd be the stalker instead (get it?) ... Jeremy Borash - wait, he COULD be a front-runner ... there's plenty more, but I really can't think of anything creative to say about ICP, Kevin Nash, Stevie Ray (though I would throw in the word "yak"), Dennis Rodman, Chad Brock, and your choice of KISS members.

So who hit Sto... um, got Stacy pregnant? The answer is simple. It was General Rection's father.