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Andy Moseley

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THE PEOPLE'S COLUMN

Aloha and welcome to the most electrifying column in Internet history today, The People's Column. I'm your party host Andy and we've got a packed column today. Your appetizer is a whole lot of letters (you like me, you really like me!... what a tired expression). Next we'll take that weekly trip back in the time machine to the week that is in '90s wrestling history. After that, it's my weekly thoughts on what happened Monday night. Then it's your main course will consist on my thoughts of Bret Hart. Finally, we'll wrap it up with a new member of the People's Hall of Fame. But first, the usual opening jibberish.

First, props (did I say props?) to CRZ for the Chae picture last week. I'm a happy guy, maybe that can be a weekly fixture. If not, that's OK too.

To continue that stuff I started about high school football last week (since NOBODY out there cares anyway), Brunswick High whooped butt Friday 70-13 and now stands at a nice 9-0 record going into the game this Friday against an 0-9 team. Hurray. Then it's to the playoffs we go. Meanwhile, hopefully the Braves won't be stupid and let the chance to get Griffey slip by.

There's some cool stuff happening here in December. I've been working on four of the last five columns of the decade for you. Stay tuned... and next week, you get to start voting on the 1999 People's Awards. Hurray!

As I seem to do weekly, sorry if I don't reply immediately with e-mail like I have done. College has kept me pretty busy between doing my thing on the newspaper and literary magazine staffs and pre-registering this week. But I do read every e-mail! All three of 'em.

OK, enough of that. It's time to open the big ol' Mailbag, sponsored by absolutely nobody.

I GET LETTERS

I actually got a lot of letters (well, for me) this week which is awesome. As JR would say, they are restaurant quality too. Keep it up! Let's get started in the order they came.

Letter #1:

Hey, I really enjoyed your column and reliving the nostalgia in my head of when Erik Watts was being pushed as the "Young Lion", the hottest rookie superstar in the sport. Wait, that sucked! Screw you for making me remember the dropkick of doom! I'm pretty sure that Nord the Barbarian is the same guy who played the Berzerker in WWF in the early 90's. The only thing I remember about him is when he tried to skewer a prostrate Undertaker through the heart with a giant sword, but the Undertaker got up and he got the sword stuck in the canvas. Huss! Huss!

And the Lightning Kid is X-Pac, right? Just checking. His matches against Jushin Liger back then truly kicked ass.

Sri

Thanks for writing. I remember Erik Watts being pushed too thanks to dear old daddy heading up WCW at the time. Of course, Erik Watts was really cool when he was in Tekno Team 2000! Nord the Barbarian might have been the Bezerker. All I really remember about the Bezerker is that I had his action figure back in the days. The Lightning Kid is X-Pac. I don't remember his matches against Jushin Liger but if those two fought they had to be awesome. By the way, Sri is going to kill anyone who puts a raisin in his cookie. So if you make Sri a cookie... DON'T PUT A RAISIN IN IT! That just went over everybody's head except Sri and me.

Letter #2:

Just wanted to say that your column just went onto my Must Read On Slash Wrestling List, right up there with Good, Bad, and Ugly, Smackin' Down the Truth, and "Wrestling Sucks!" (just because I like to see how stupid some of those anti-rasslin' people are). All the features you had in your column had me hooked--especially This Week in '90s Wrestling History. I really like the idea of looking back at things that just didn't click (coughcoughKENNELINACELLORWHATEVERTHENAMEWAScough)! Anyway, consider your average amount of letters per week increased up to 1.2 now! I think.

--James Gowdey, one of the one point two... AND ONE POINT TWO of the People's Column's fans.

PS: I'd like to say that the head-bobbin', leg-droppin', uh...head-bobbin' D'Lo Brown deserves to be in the People's Hall of Fame! Even if you don't like his entrance music that much (I actually do!), you gotta admit that he's a great worker, has the second best Frog Splash in the biz (the best belonging to RVD, of course), and his legdrop makes people like me mark out as much as the People's Elbow. D'Lo's gotta be in the PHOF at some point.

PPS: Another D'Lo related thing: Is his Ligerbomb called the Sky High or the Real Deal? I'm just asking this since people are starting to call it the Real Deal for some reason. Did the Sky High officially change its name because of D'Lo's entrance music (the rapper who, uh, raps in it keeps saying something about the Real Deal)?

I really enjoyed this letter. Wait... I enjoy ALL letters. This one was just fun though. Anyway, I'm glad I'm being added to somebody's "Must Read" list along with other columns. Of course, everybody should read EVERY SINGLE column on this site daily. I was testing out something new with the "This Week in '90s Wrestling History" and it's really clicked. I didn't want to go any further than '90 because I didn't start watch wrestling until 1991 anyway and I've only seen videos of the WWF PPVs before then. But there's some crazy stuff that's gone on and we'll look back at it all. We'll see how popular this is a year from now (if I'm still doing this a year from now) when I'm saying the same thing I said this year.

D'Lo will eventually make it into the PHOF, but not this week. It is a lot of fun to watch D'Lo. He made the chest protector gimmick work that very few others would be able to make work. Plus his head bobs. And he had some awesome matches against X-Pac last year. I don't see why the WWF hasn't made a D'Lo bobbing head doll, that would sell like pancakes! Do you like pancakes? Anyway... I have no idea which one his Ligerbomb is called. I always thought it was the Sky High, but they might be changing it like they so often do.

Hey, wait just a frickin' minute... did you just badmatch the Kennel in a Cell match? THAT WAS THE GREATEST MATCH IN THE HISTORY OF SPORTS-ENTERTAINMENT!

Sorry.

And finally, Letter #3:

"1984 - Winner: Mike Von Erich. Kevin Kelly was the 3rd runner up! Wow! A chubby WWF broadcast was once a top runner up in PWI's Rookie of the Year! Go Kevin!"

Just in case that *wasn't* sarcasm, that was Kevin Kelly, the big lug whose biggest claim to fame to date is that he would play "Nailz, the psycho prisoner" in the tankbomb that was the AWF (now folded). He and the WWF Announcer are two different people.

The People's Column is cool -- keep up the good work, man.

Mr. T
[slash] wrestling

The A-Team was cool. Anyway, thanks for writing. That was sarcasm, but thanks for the info. Would that Nailz be the same one that was in the WWF for a short time against 'Taker? I'm guessing yes seeing how Nailz Kelly was a prisoner and so was the WWF Nailz. By the way, did you know that Mr. T had a rap song? It was called "The Toughest Man in the World." And I think I remember Mr. T cereal. Mr. T is cool, fool. Both of 'em. Go read Mr. T's latest column (plug plug plug).

And that closes up the ol' mailbag for this week. This takes us up to five columns with an all-time total of seven letters for a cool average of 1.4 letters a week. That's coolness.

THIS WEEK IN '90s WRESTLING HISTORY - 11.10.99 to 11.16.99

11.12 - Hey, lower that disco ball buddy because today is Disco Inferno's birthday.

11.15 - What up Mach? It's Randy Savage's birthday. If my math is right, he's going to be 47. And how old is George... 23 max? Geez, some guys have all the luck. Well, except that balding.

11.10.93 - WCW's Clash of the Champions XXV is held live from St. Petersburg, Florida with Ric Flair defeating WCW champ Vader by DQ. With the exception of the Shockmaster against the Equalizer, all the matches had potential such as Austin vs Pillman, Dustin Rhodes vs Orndorff, and even Hawk vs Rude.

11.16.94 - Marcus Alexander Bagwell and The Patriot ("Stars & Striples" )win the WCW World Tag Team Titles by beating Paul Orndorff and Paul Roma, who we might remember as Pretty Wonderful. Bagwell didn't say the same thing every week then and he was cool. Now I'm rooting for the Powers That Be against him. And whatever happened to the Patriot? He was in the WWF fighting the Harts and then he disappeared into thin air. Also at that very Clash of the Champions, we had great matches such as Jim Duggan vs Steve Austin, Johnny B. Badd against the Honky Tonk Man, and a great main event featuring Sting & the Hulkster against Zodiac, Earthquake, and Kevin Sullivan.

11.13.95 - Kensuke Sasaki wins the U.S. Title from Sting in Tokyo, Japan. Reread that... the U.S. Title in Japan. And Kensuke Sasaki isn't American. It's like Shawn Michaels or Mark Henry holding the European Title... oh, wait.

11.16.96 - Jerry Lawler defeats the Colorado Kid to wn the USWA Heavyweight Title. And not the King's first USWA title... his TWENTY FIFTH. He won two more later on before the USWA folded.

11.16.97 - The WWF inducts Cap. Lou Albano, Killer Kowalski, Vincent MacMahon Sr., Patrick Patterson (insert Hyatte joke here), Johnny Rodz (insert Hyatte praise here), baron Mikel Scicluna, Jimmy Snuka, and the Valiants into its Hall of Fame. Since Patterson was inducted, nobody has been inducted since.

11.15.98 - The WWF holds it's Survivor Series: Deadly Game event. Duane Gill is in the open match and Vincent K. MacMahon, Jr. does the annual "Sharpshooter Screwjob." But remember... Vince McMahon didn't screw Mankind in that match... Mankind screwed Mankind. Also a dark moment in wrestling history at that event as Sable won the Women's belt from Jacqueline.

11.16.98 - Bam Bam Bigelow crashes Nitro and challenges Greenberg. Of course it ends up a no-decision as all Nitro main events used to do. Bischoff also fired Jo Jo Dillon after this. Talking about firing, whatever happened to that Bischoff fellow and why was Jo Jo around a few weeks ago?

RAW VS NITRO

Raw is Neve Campbell.... Well, not really... but Smackdown! is Ah-nold! Anywho, I was entertained the whole show but I am admittedly a little biased in the WWF's direction. I enjoyed the twenty minute opening interview with Stone Cold throwing microphones. I'm glad this whole Big Show's dad thing is ending. It's good to see the WWF playing around with the whole Head thing that Wally World is so confused about. It's not good to see HHH's posterior. Or Billy Gunn's posterior. I think I did see a ho's posterior this week. One of the ho's was hot and the rest weren't. OK, enough of that. I was starting to think Test might actually win the title and somehow Rock, Austin, or HHH would win it on Smackdown! but no. I'm really liking Too Cool right now.

Nitro is Neve Campbell... Guess not. Kimberly is a hot mama though. Why the heck does it have to be A.C. Jazz brawling with Spice? We could have the [slash] dream match of Chae vs Spice, but nooooo. Jazz is pretty hot in person though so I can't complain. If Nash really wants to try to make us laugh, he needs to come out as Oz and have Hall come out as the little wizard dude that Kevin Sullivan came out as. If only we had Lenny and Lodi back. You know why? 'Cause when Lenny and Lodi are in town, somebody's going down buddy!

BRET HART... ROLE MODEL (?????)

Is Bret trying to make us happy or mad? Yes, he's probably the best wrestler of the '90s (excluding Curly Bill, Jay Leno, and Lawrence Taylor). Yes, he's supposively a good guy (for this week at least) in Turnerland. But he sure doesn't make me want to cheer him.

First off, Bret is STILL stuck on "being screwed" at Survivor Series '97. Get over it man, life goes on. I think I would rather go to WCW and prove how good I am to shove it in Vincent K.'s face instead of bringing it up on a weekly basis.

Second, we have Bret's little family values. He didn't want his kids watching Raw because it was too "adult" for them. Has he seen his own show lately? We have Kimberly walking around in one of her Playboy outfits (which isn't a bad thing), David Flair stalking people, language language language, and so on. What didn't he like about Raw? Sable and gang walking around in Playboyish outfits, adult angles, language language language, and so on. Not to mention how Bret constantly talks about being screwed.

The biggest thing that has made me root against the Hitman is his recent comments about the Bulldog in one of his columns. He said the little thing about Bulldog going to the WWF being like a dog rolling in poop, which is OK. But then he said if he saw Bulldog's wife walking on the street he would probably hit her with his car. In case you forgot Bret, Bulldog's wife IS YOUR SISTER. What kind of role model is Bret for that kids of his when he's talking about running over HIS OWN SISTER? And what would Owen think if he stumbled upon that comment on the Internet?

To sum this up, I don't know what state of mind Bret has been in and he obviously doesn't either. I lost respect for him after the whole thing about hitting his sister.

THE PEOPLE'S HALL OF FAME
Current Members: Harold Finkel, Mick Foley, and Screamin' Norman Smiley.

And Hall of Famer numero quatro is... THEMONSTERMENG!!! Let's face it, Meng is awesome. The pants, the hair, the way he doesn't get hurt when you hit his head, the way he wouldn't trade a Goldberg for two cards... what's not to like?

FINALE

Well, that's your People's Column for this week. Next week, you get to vote for the People's Choice Awards along with the usual fun and games. It will be pretty simple, I'll have a list of categories. You cut and paste them into an e-mail with your picks. See you then.

Andy
Chae's #1 man

Mail the Author (pretty please)
Visit Andy Online - the People's Website

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Guest column text copyright (C) 1999 by the individual author and used with permission