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| Guest Columns | Andy Moseley |
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THE PEOPLE'S COLUMN It's time once again to hop aboard the People's Column. My name is Andy and I'm your captain on this voyage, which is scary. This week... I Get Letters Too, Raw vs Nitro, WWF The Music: Vol. 4, Rookies of the Year, This Week in '90s Wrestling History, the newest inductee into The People's Hall of Fame, and the closing jibberish. But first... a big shoutout (I feel almost as hip as Tony Schiavonie now) to CRZ for the picture of Chae he left on the front page throughout the weekend. Sigh... if only that could appear on my column. And but first part two... I know, the Yankees won and the Braves lost. I hate the Yankees. Jim Gray still isn't on my good side either. And as if the Braves losing wasn't enough, the Georgia Bulldogs let the (ugh) Florida Gators come back and beat them. At least we've got the Atlanta Thrashers hockey team! Umm... never mind, they suck like expansion teams are supposed to suck. Well... at least we have the Brunswick High Pirates! Woohoo! Brunswick 62, Beach 7... my first year away from the school and they are still kicking butt. I believe the Pirates' record stands at 9-0 and ranked second in the state (ahead of Valdosta... HA HA HA HA HA). Enough talk about high school football of all things... I Get Letters Too Well, I get three letters last week and my letters rate drops totally. Maybe because I didn't respond to my e-mail this week until right when I was typing this. Sorry TJ. Anyway, here's my one letter which brings the totals up to four weeks and four total letters for an average of 1.0 letters per column. Letter #1 of 1: Guess I'll write again, because I'm not quite done yet. I think I'm gonna see if CRZ will post a column of mine. I feel like ranting about the short attention span of the average wrestling fan, and how they complain about sports entertainment, while also chanting boring. Anyway, nice column this week. I got 2 letters posted. Yay! Smiley's frightened screams are just hilarious. I hope this lasts a while. I'd mark out if he won the title. And the Big Wiggle.... too funny. TJ I'm glad there's good people out there like TJ who write to me (hint hint, nudge nudge). Thanks for the letter and sorry it took me a week to write back (give me a break people, I'm in college too). Go for the column! Thanks for the compliments. I'm lovin' this whole Norman Smi-LEY thing too. He's the last person you would expect to see on top of a hardcore division and his screams are hilarious. Maybe WCW won't drop the ball and will keep a popular angle around this time. Well, that wraps up the letters this week. Maybe I'll have more next week (hint hint). Raw is DX vs Nitro is Chae Both federations had decent shows this week, I was entertained. Which is the point. Anywho, here we go. RAW IS DX... Shane MacMahon is just awesome. I'd like to see Bischoff do what Shane does. I'd like to see Bischoff do what Vince does. It's good to see Tori in a good angle since she's a hottie. I don't want to know about Kane's bits and pieces, whether they are burnt or not. This Big Show-Boss Man angle gets worse every week, I'm ready for Big Show to beatdown Boss Man and then they can drop the angle. Poor Boss Man just can't get a good angle... first the stupid dogs, now this one. Next week Stevie Richards should come out as Diesel. NITRO IS CHAE... Tony and The Brain obviously don't remember what Vincent K. looks like, because they said Nash's impression of him was dead-on. Was Nash supposed to look like McMahon? Sound like McMahon? Usually I laugh at stuff like this, but this was just LAME. It looked like Nash's McMahon face was going to fall off. He should have bought one of those Mr. McMahon masks they are selling in the toys section of Amazon.com (go check them out... hilarious!). Anyway, they screwed up the Luger/Liz thing but that's OK I guess. The first sentence out of Bret's mouth included the word "screwed" if I'm not mistaken. It's good to see The Cat back. I'm diggin' this whole hardcore Norman Smi-LEY thing, and it was cool to see him in there against THEMONSTERMENG! Leave it to the Georgian Nitro Girl to start up a fight. And she has to pick Spice to brawl with instead of Chae. Oh well, Spice is a hottie too. WWF The Music: Volume Quatro Everybody else is doing it, so I'm gonna do it too. Here's my review of the WWF's soon to be gold album. Maybe one day I'll have Mick Foley's book. Here we go, track by track. "Break Down the Wall" (Jericho) - It's just an awesome track. I wish it had five seconds or so of the countdown at the beginning though. "Big" (WEEELLL IT'S THE BIG SHOW) - I've liked this song since the beginning. It's so dorky it's cool. "No Chance in Hell" (Corporation) - I like this one too. "Sexual Chocolate" (Mark Henry) - It's like Barry White except... it's not. It's pretty cool though. "This is a Test" (Test) - I don't like it. It's annoying. It sucks. "Wreck" (Mankind) - It's a rockish song that is pretty cool but I'm a little bit tired of it. "Oh Hell Yeah" (Austin featuring H-BLOCKX) - Whoever H-BLOCKX is, it's a fairly decent song. Maybe I'm just not used to it. I wouldn't have minded having a theme song here like maybe the Raw theme song (THORN IN YOUR EYE!). "Danger at the Door" (D'Lo) - I liked his old song better. This one is annoying after about thirty seconds of listening to it. "Blood Brother" (Christian) - I can't remember ever hearing this before. Maybe it's because he's always come out to Edge or Christian's music. It's actually pretty cool. "AssMan" (Mr. Ass) - I'm waiting for "Breast Man" myself. This is fairly good, just tired of it. "Ministry" (Undertaker) - Uh, same stuff we've heard for the last forever with 'Taker's jibberish at the beginning. "My Time" (HHH/Chyna) - But this isn't Chyna's music anymore! Oh well. I liked it when it first was used without the annoying "is this on?" and so on. And back before it was used twelve times a show. "On the Edge" (Edge - new version) - Do you hear that? The beginning is different... WOW. I like it though. "Know Your Role" (Rock - new version) - IF YOU SMELL... WHAT THE ROCK... IS COOKIN'. It DOESN'T MATTER what I think! Listen for Smackdown Hotel at the end (you have to turn up the volume a little) and in mid-song he'll tell you what you can do with your CD. Sophomore Jinx... or the Apter Jinx? Either way, some "PWI" Achievement Award winners in the Rookie of the Year never make it far. Then again, some do. Let's take a look and see where they are now. 1998 - Winner: Goldberg. He's still around, I think. You'll notice that the 1st runner up was Sable (are you cracking up right now too?) and our second runner up was Droz. 1997 - Winner: Prince Iaukea. Well, I guess the fans aren't always right. 1996 - Winner: WEEEELLL IT'S THE GIANT. You'll note the 2nd runner up is Rocky Maivia. 1995 - Winner: Alex Wright. Well, he doesn't dance anymore. 1994 - Winner: 911. I have no idea where he is now. The 1st runner up was Bob Holly though, and he sucked then and rocks now. 1993 - Winner: Vampire Warrior. Somebody call Luna, 'cause her husband is still around. He even won that and he wasn't in the big two, now he is and isn't doing a thing besides spitting up Kool-Aid. 1992 - Winner: Erik Watts. Last seen jobbing on Thunder. The first runner up was DDP, guess who got the raw end of the deal. Also, a youngster by the name of Chaz (I reckon it's the Headbanger) came in 3rd. 1991 - Winner: Johnny B. Badd. He's a baaaaaad man. And his wife got him tossed out of a federation when she quit. You'll note "Lightning Kid" at 3rd runner up. 1990 - Winner: Steve Austin. I guess the fans did pretty good this year. Well, maybe not. The 1st runner up is El Gigante. BEWARE OF GIANT GONZALEZ! 1989 - Winner(s): Mike Enos & Wayne Bloom. Mike is hangin' around Turnerville last I heard, and Wayne... uh, isn't. The first runner up was Dustin (Undertaker II) Rhodes and 2nd runner up was Scotty "Raven" The Body. 1988 - Winner: Madusa Miceli. Too bad she doesn't like "New York evening gown matches." The first runner up was Chris Benoit, 3rd went to Big Poppa Pump is your hookup holla if you hear me Scott Steiner. 1987 - Winner: Owen Hart. We miss you, Blazer! Guess who was 1st runner up? Bubba Rogers. He goes from being a kick-butt bodyguard to cooking Pepper and picking on someone's dad. Wow. 1986 - Winner: Lex Luger. You know, "The Total Package" since Lex is dead. Bammer Bigelow came in as the 1st runner up, THEN Sting. Hmmmm. 1985 - Winner: Nord the Barbarian. No, I don't know who he is. Kendall Windham was the 1st runner up though. 1984 - Winner: Mike Von Erich. Kevin Kelly was the 3rd runner up! Wow! A chubby WWF broadcast was once a top runner up in PWI's Rookie of the Year! Go Kevin! 1983 - Winner: Angelo Mosca, Jr. And Arn Anderson was 3rd runner up. It was an honor. 1982 - Winner: Brad Armstrong. We're almost two decades later and the curse still stands. But his brother is a star. 1981 - Winner: David Flair, I mean Sammartino. Curt Hennig didn't hate rap, but was 2nd runner up. 1980 - Winner: Terry Taylor. The Rooster is rookie of the year and I'm born... something went seriously wrong. Not to mention Barry Windham and Tom Prichard taking runner up spots. 1979 - Winner: Sweet Brown Sugar. I don't know, but the late Eddie Gilbert was 3rd runner up. 1978 - Winner: Tommy Rich. 1977 - Winner: Rick Steamboat. 14 years later, he's breathing fire out of his mouth in the WWF. Jimmy Snuka was first runner up. 1976 - Winner: MISTER Bob Backlund. He's still cool. 1975 - Winner: Ric "Mean whooo by god virginia Gene whooo" Flair. 1974 - Winner: Larry Zbyszko. That's back when he wrestled instead of talked about golf all the time. 1973 - Winner: Tie (what's up with that?) between Bob Orton and Tony Garea (here's my shirt, Tori... I don't want to see your breasts). 1972 - Winner: Mike Graham. OK, that was fun. If for some reason you know any of the guys and gals I said I didn't know, let me know. This Week in '90s Wrestling (11.03 to 11.09.99) Sounds like a cool feature, we'll see. Let me know so I'll know to keep it or trash it. If nothing else... I'll tell you the sucky matches from PPVs and make fun of stupid stuff in history. Alright! 11.06.90 - Jesse Ventura is elected mayor of Brooklyn Park, MN. We all know what's happened since then... he talked with Playboy. 11.04.96 - Raw moves to an hour earlier to boost ratings against Nitro. Steve Austin breaks into Brian Pillman's house, we hear a gunshot, and it's one of the worst segments in Raw history. 11.09.97 - Bret Hart says he was screwed (again... and he still says it every time you stick a microphone in his face) as he loses the WWF Title to Shawn Michaels at the Survivor Series. Also on the card, Steve Blackman makes his WWF wrestling debut (that was for you CRZ) and the Truth Commission defeats DOA in an elimination match. Wow, what great matches the WWF had at the time. 11.03.98 - Jesse Ventura gets 37% of the votes and becomes Govenor. We know what's happened since then... I guess. Nothing creative this time. The People's Hall of Fame Current Members: Harold Finkel, Norman Smiley. That's right, it's time to induct a brand new member into The People's HOF. Congratulations this week to Mick Foley. He's in at #3 (last week) on the NY Times Bestsellers List, that's enough for a spot. Any time a wrestler can make it on a list usually graced by people who actually write for a living, he deserves his spot. Besides, he would like being on The People's Hall of Fame seeing how he was the People's Partner a few weeks ago. That's all I have for you this week. Don't forget to send me some e-mail. Send your other columnists some e-mail too. They are writing this stuff to entertain you. Kinda like how Hogan/Bischoff vs DDP/Leno and T.L. Hopper were created to entertain you. OK, bad examples. Just write us, it means a lot to us! Or to me at least, I shouldn't be speaking on behalf of the others. Anywho... Aloha. Andy Chae's #1 man Mail the Author (pretty please) Visit Andy Online - the People's Website |
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