Well, I asked CRZ last week if he wanted someone to do UWA (Urban Wrestling Alliance) reports seeing as he didn't get the show. The UWA syndicated show normally airs on Saturday mornings in my area, but there was one small, teensy problem with the show this week. It was preempted by some sort of gardening show. Hell, what was that show called? Oh yeah, President Select Bush's Inauguration. So, if anybody was looking forward to a UWA report, blame our new President, I know I will. So instead of an amazingly written, time-keeping account of the excitement that is the UWA (I'm being serious here, it's actually pretty good, the wrestling is better than what most of WCW shows on their PPVs), you're going to get what will be my first and possibly last column. At this point, I have no idea what to call this thing, but I'll have one before I send it off, so actually you can forget this last sentence.

Well, I got up this morning thinking I'd only have to be funny and interesting for a small part of this column, but thanks to shady vote counters in Florida, I now have to give you people my opinion on something. So I hope you enjoy it.

Royal Rumble Predictions (or if you want to be more accurate, my thoughts on what should happen between now and Wrestlemania...)

All right, if I was scripting the WWF, this is what I'd do with the various belts and all that fight over them. Now in the Rumble match itself, there are only 2 real participants who stand any chance of winning, Rock and Stone Cold. I'm a huge Undertaker and Kane fan but being realistic, Rock and Austin are the only two would bring in the ratings for Wrestlemania. My personal choice for the winner would be Austin, with Rock being eliminated through some foul trickery involving Kurt Angle (Maybe a low bridge during the People's Elbow). Why would Kurt do that? Who was the last person to embarrass Kurt on TV? Why I do believe it was Rock and a Rock Bottom. Throw in some decent promos during Heat from Angle and Rock, in that order respectively, and you have your Royal Rumble winner, Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Next comes the title match. Number one thing that must happen at the Royal Rumble, GET THE TITLE OFF ANGLE! Don't get me wrong, he's a good wrestler and he can cut a decent promo but there is no way I see him holding onto the title past the Royal Rumble, much less headlining Wrestlemania X7. But you can't have him drop the belt cleanly because it would kill what heat he has and it would leave him with no feud going into Mania. I can see a ref bump at the Rumble in his title match with Triple H, with The Rock coming out to interfere costing him the title, as payback for costing him the Royal Rumble and a title shot.

Rock challenges Austin to a match for the Wrestlemania title shot at the February PPV (sorry, but I sometimes forget the names of the minor ones, I think it's No Way Out). The match is interrupted by Angle, costing Rock the match and setting them up for a semi-main event match at X7. Triple H wrestles the Undertaker in a match that gets interrupted by not only Kane, but the recently returned Big Show (according to reports he should be back on TV soon after the Rumble), thus setting up a three-way dance between Kane, UT, and the Big Show.

Oh just so I don't forget, Angle has a match against new Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho. Jericho would win his Rumble match with Benoit due to a storyline injury he would suffer after a very top-of-the-ladder-powerbomb after 15 minutes of good, clean (and to steal a line from Scott Keith) Canadian Violence! (I promise to try my best not to steal lines from anyone else again). A returning, to action Benoit would run from the backstage and deliver a nice crisp chairshot, DQ'ing Angle and thereby challenging Jericho to and IC title shot at X7.

And now for my favorite division, the tag teams! I'd have the Duds take the win, but not the title, with a conchairto from the Blondes. The Hardys would challenge E&C at the Feb. PPV. I would book the hardys to win the title and defend them at X7 in a rematch with E&C in a Hell in a Cell Tag team match. The dudleys would, after their lost to E&C in a rematch after the Rumble go on rampage, destroying other tag teams and turning heel, leading to a match against the APA at X7.

I see William Regal dropping the European belt at the Rumble to Test in a match to be announced on Heat. Regal moves on the IC race. I would have Test successfully defend the European, despite interference from Albert, leading up to a challenge at No Way Out. I would have Test retain, and continue the fued to X7, where he would win again and finally after years of struggle Test would be over. Hell, Albert would be over as a heel.

So let's recap Wrestlemania X7 if I was doing the booking: (winners in Caps)

Triple H (c) v. AUSTIN for the WWF Championship in an Iron Man match
ROCK v. Kurt Angle
HARDY BOYZ v. Edge and Christian in a Hell in a Cell Tag match
DUDLEYZ v. Acolyte Protection Agency
CHRIS JERICHO (c) v. Chris Benoit in an I Quit match
American Badass v. Kane v. BIG SHOW
TEST (c) v. Albert for the European belt
And a Hardcore Battle Royal (STEVE BLACKMAN)

So that's about it for me this week. I seriously doubt if I'll be doing another column like this again. I'll just stick to the recaps. I only did this column because I told CRZ I would have something for him on Saturday, and I keep my promises. Hopefully, there won't be any problems with the UWA next week and I can do the recap.

If you like what you read, you know what to do.

I'm outta here.