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EVEN BETTER THAN THE REAL THING
mdb books Nitro

Disclaimer: Fantasy booking is easier than actual booking. I completely understand this. In reworking Nitro I try to remain aware of the realities of pro wrestling in general and WCW in particular. That means no jobbing of Hogan to Barry Horowitz, as fun as that would be. I try to use the same wrestlers WCW used on their actual broadcast. The few exceptions are made in cases where it seems obvious to me that the people are available and capable of the role I put them in. (For example I have the Barbarian booked in a match since he wrestled last week it seems he would be available. DDP is injured, but should be able to perform the role of cutting a short taped promo. Etc.)

Disclaimer Two: Until WCW starts paying me to do this, I cn't bother with spit and polish. I put about two hours into this. 15 minutes into setting up the matches and the rest typing out the scenes off the top of my head as I go along. Please ignore spelling errors, words without proper capitalization, etc.

All comments are welcome.


8
Show opens with NY promo. Fireworks! We are live from the Big Apple. Your hosts are Tony Schiavone and Mark Madden. Mean Gene is in the ring. 'New York City, welcome to WCW Monday Night Nitro! (crowd cheers) Ladies and gentlemen, I don't really want to do it, but please welcome, Ernest Miller The Cat!' Ernest Miller's music plays. Out dances the Cat. 'Gene Okerlund, what are you talking about you don't want to introduce the Cat?' 'Well I' 'Well nothing. Give me that microphone, Okerlund. Get out of here! Scram Mene Gene. This is the Cat's ring! This is the Cat's night! A lot of people doubted me. I said I was going to bring James Brown to Nitro and no one believed me. I said me and the Godfather of Soul would be out here to perform with me and no one believed me. Well for all you doubters, for all you ingrates, and yes, even for all you rednecks, here he is, the hardest working man in show business, James Brown! Hit the music.' Cat's theme plays again, cameras point to an empty entrance ramp. 'Come on out JB! (beat) I know these people don't deserve it, but I gave my word. Come on, JB.' No one at the entrance. 'Hey, all you people. Get out of your seats. Let's here some cheers for James Brown. He ain't going to come out if you don't make some noise for him. Come on out, JB.' Still no one. 'Alright, alright, it's obvious James Brown doesn't think it worth his time to come out and perform for this redneck crowd. But I made a promise that James brown would perform tonight on Nitro, so I'm going into the back to convince him to come out and perform for you ingrates.' The Cat storms off.

Cut to Three Count from earlier today. They are trying to find 3 Count fans among the people coming to the Nitro show. Sample results: 'Hi, we're Three Count.' 'Who?' 'Three Count! Evan Korageous, Shane Helms, Sugar Shannon Moore' The wrestling fan doesn't show any signs of recognition. Three Count starts their dance routine hoping the fan would recognize that. The fan starts to back away from the Three quickly. / 'Hi, have you entered the Dream Date with Three Count contest?' 'No way. Get away from me.' / 'Hey Three count, do you know Hogan? Can you get me his autograph?' / 'Hey Three Count, do the Wiggle!' The fan starts to do the Wiggle; Three Count leaves disgusted. / 'Three count! I'm your biggest fan! Can I get your autograph?' Three Count are happy to oblige. The kid offers Evan a sheet of paper and a pen. As Evan bends down to do the autograph, the kid swipes Evan's hat and races off into the crowd.

Match One: Kidman vs. Evan Korageous. Three Count in the ring on their circles. Evan: 'Hello New York! We know what you fans need! Forget Broadway. Forget the Knicks and the Yankees. Forget the Metropolitan Opera. You fans want real entertainment and we're here to deliver!' Shane: 'Now we know some of the guys out there are jealous of us. They know it's us their girlfriends are dreaming about. They wish they had our looks and our moves. We're sorry guys, we just can't help it. And all's fair in love and war.' Shannon: 'Now you ladies. It's not too late to enter the Win a Dream Date with Three Count. Three lucky ladies are going to have the time of their lives.' Evan: 'But those three winners aren't the only luck ones, because we're still going to perform for all of you.' Three Count gets in position and waits for their music. Instead the lights go down and Kidman's music plays. Out comes Kidman and Torrie. Kidman plays to the crowd as Three Count sulk in a corner. Evan: 'Well I tell you what. I know it's not exactly fair to the thousands that have entered the Dream Date contest, but for you Torrie, I'll make an exception. I don't know what you see in Billy Kidman. Why don't you step up to a real man [meaning himself]. Kidman doesn't have the style, he doesn't have the charisma, he doesn't have the talent to be with you. Why don't you join up with Three Count?' Torrie: 'I tell you what Evan. If you can beat Billy...maybe I will.' Evan gets a huge smile on his face. Torrie slaps him. Billy had gotten behind Evan, roll-up, 1, 2, 3! Billy and Torrie celebrate outside. Three Count is upset. Evan: 'Wait a minute, wait a minute. There was never any opening bell. That wasn't match. Come on Billy, you wimp!' Billy back into the ring for the match. Kidman hits his trademark moves to start. Evan gets the advantage. Blowing kisses and winking at Torrie. Shane and Shannon cheat to help their partner. Kidman escapes a doubleteam, knocks the two other counts out of the ring, bulldog on Evan, SSP! 1,2,3 Kidman wins (again)! Three Count is left in the ring.

Shots from back of Hogan arriving in his limo.

Also tonight, a taped message from Bret Hart!

Break


(815)
We're back as the nWo theme plays. Jarrett and the Harisses are out. 'Listen up you New York Slapnuts! I am Jeff Jarrett! I am the Chosen One! Now Kevin Nash may think he's the Commissioner and it's all fun and games screwing with Jeff Jarrett, but he better recognize that I'm the one with all the stroke around here. At Superbrawl I'm going to beat that genetic freak Sid Vicious and Nash's best buddy Scott Hall, and I will walk out of the cow palace the new WCW heavyweight champion of the world. And that's not all. Kevin Nash may have stripped me of the Commissionership, but before he did I booked a match tonight for the World tag titles. Tonight the Harrises will beat up those Italian goofs the Mamalukes. Next Monday night, the nWo, the elite, will have all the gold! Now hit our music.' Wolfpack theme plays.

Nash on the big screen. 'Well, well, well. Pretty clever there little Jeff. Yeah, it's true I can't invalidate the contracts already signed for the World tag match tonight and your title shot at Superbrawl' 'That's right, Slapass.' 'Oh-ho-ho. Watch that mouth Jeff, it'll get you in trouble. Starting tonight. Since you screwed my buddy Scott out of the title last week, I'm giving the big guy the night off. Don't worry, he'll be good and ready for the match at Superbrawl. But for you and Sid, I have some matches for you tonight. Sid Vicious, tonight you get to take on Stevie Rey... and Big T in a handicap match. Jeff Jarrett, tonight you get to take on Meng and the Barbarian.' 'What? No way.' 'Well Jeff, you don't have to wrestle the match. But if you don't, you're in breach of contract and you won't get the title shot at Superbrawl. Now hit my music.' Wolfpack theme plays. The nWo are not happy.

Cut to DDP on tape at a hotel room. 'I'd like to say happy Valentine's Day to all the DDP fans. Now Kim and I had some issues in the recent past, but they are in the past. Now the wife and I have some making up to do. Buff Bagwell, hope you have a nice valentine's Day, doing whatever it is you do.' Kim appears in the background wearing a risque (though family friendly) outfit. 'You ready, lover?' Page smiles to the camera. 'Oh yeah. Time to go feel.. the.. bang.!' Page cuts off the camera. This leads to numerous 'jokes' by Madden throughout the night of playing the second half of the interview/seeing the rest of the video.

Break.


825
We're back with Terry Taylor at the Nitro entrance ramp with Mean Gene. 'It was real nice to hear from WCW's commissioner earlier tonight, wasn't it? But Nash isn't the only one with news. Tonight's main event of Hogan vs. Flair, is a #1 contenders match for the World title. The winner of tonight's main event will wrestle the winner of the title match at Superbrawl next Monday night on Nitro!'

Match Two: Crowbar/Flair vs. Three Count. Three Count are still in the ring. 'Now I know some of you are sad that I lost a match to Kidman. I don't mean to be a heartbreaker. But we're going to make it up to you. We're still going to perform tonight!' Three counts music starts but 10 seconds in a scream cuts into it as David Flair/Crowbar's theme plays. Out come the Badlanders. Three Count aren't happy. Match begins with Badlanders trying to hit Three Count with the metal pole and crowbar. Three Count gets the advantage. Flair hits Shane with the gold crowbar. Crowbar tries to get the win but it's broken up. Confusion reigns as all four fight, a miscue allows Three Count to get the win. David and Crowbar argue on their way to the back. In the ring the weary Three count do a victory dance.

Ric arrives in the back. Tonight he can become #1 contender!

Also tonight the taped message from Bret!

Break


840
Match Three: Tank Abbott v. Lane (& Idol) We're back and Three Count are still 'singing and dancing.' Tank comes out to break it up. Three Count are reluctant to go, but Tank 'convinces' them. His opponent tonight in Lane. Tank is not impressed with the people he's facing in WCW. Lane is out with Lodi. The two mercilessly mock Tank, pantomiming gestures of his goatee, bald head, and boxing ability. In the crowd is Big Al. The two glare at each other as Lane and Lodi make their way to the ring. In the ring, Lodi on the mic. He and Lane have a hard time getting through the interview because they have to stop themselves from laughing. Lodi: 'Where did they dig you up? Are there no mirrors in your house?' Lane: 'Do you think they'd let him in a club looking like that?' Lodi: 'Not a chance.' Tank has had enough. He rushes at both of them. Lane and Lodi try to double team him but do not succeed. Lodi ends up outside the ring. A short match follows ending with the knockout. Lodi storms in to look after his partner. He thinks about getting revenge but when Tank gets ready to take a swing at him, he backs down. 'not the face, not the face!' Tank walks off in disgust. Lodi goes to check on Lane. 'Come on Lane, we're supposed to be at the club by 9!.' Tank is out of the ring and on his way back. Big Al has managed to get Penzer to give him a mic. 'Hey Tank. That was real impressive. All of us are real impressed with your wrestling career.' Tank makes his way bak to the ring. 'There was a time I'd give you the jacket off my back Tank, but you've sold out. You were the toughest meanest fighter in UFC and now look at what you're doing.' 'You'd give me the jacket of your back? What if I just knock you out and take the jacket?' [ed note The slang term "skin" can be established on Thunder with the Tenay interview.] 'Let's do it then.' The two scuffle and security is in to break it up.

Cut to the back. Disco interview on the tag title match tonight. He's not concerned about the Harris Boys. He was a member of the nWo when it was cool but he's left that talentless group and now he's managing the champs.

Cut to Ernest Miller standing at a door with the star plate "James Brown" on it. To the door: 'Come on JB. I know the people don't deserve it but I promised them a show!'

Break.


850
Gene in the back interviews Luger with Liz. Luger's not impressed with Hogan vs. Flair being a #1 contender match. WCW overlooks him. WCW is mad because he beat up their favorite Sting. WCW is trying to stop the Total Package but he's an unstoppable force. He's going to take out Funk tonight and Hogan on Sunday and soon there will be no one left and WCW will have to acknowledge that the Total Package is the best there is in pro wrestling. The Total Package vs. Funk? Luger is genetic perfection, he'd show you a picture of Funk without his shirt on but he couldn't get it past TNT's censors.' Flair enters the shot. Flair is excited as only Flair can get excited. 'You and me, Lex. We're going to take over WCW. We're not going to wait for Superbrawl. We're taking out Hogan and Funk tonight!' Match four: Vampiro vs. Prince Iaukea: Highlights from the first round matches of the cruiser tourney as Prince comes out. Mention of Lash already in the finals to be held at the PPV. Before Vamp comes out, Psicosis's music plays. Out comes Psic, Juvy and Silver King. They go to the announce table. Juvy has returned to announcing! Psic is here to scout the opponent for Thunder's semifinal match. Vampiro is out. He's not impressed with Prince's psych gimmicks at all. Prince tries to stall but Vamp is all over him. Pescados, vicious chops, and kicks. Prince goes outside to recover with the help of Paisley. Psic and Silver King make threatening moves on Prince. They roll him back into the ring against his wishes into the waiting arms of Vampiro. More Vamp offense. Finally Prince with some offense as Vamp misses a charge into the corner. Prince hits some moves, showing off his offense. Announcers talk about Vamp's matches with Kidman in comparison of Prince's style. Before Prince gets going to well, Los Chicos Bonitos are in the ring beating up Prince. Vamp gets up, considers the scene, whatever. He walks off. Refs get the three amigos away from Prince. See the cruiser semi on Thunder!

Cut to Gene with Funk for an interview. 'Everyone has tried to put out Terry Funk, the hardcore legend. No one's been able to do it. Nash tried it last month and failed. Luger will try tonight and fail. Flair will try at Superbrawl and he will fail.'

Ernest Miller is still trying to get James Brown out of his dressing room.

Also Bret Hart's message is still coming up!

Break.


905
Match five: Luger v. Funk. Flair is out with Luger. Luger's posedown in the ring is interrupted by Funk's music. Funk into the ring a house o' fire. Liz runs, Flair takes some hits from Funk. Ric gets no offense, but it allows Lex to recover and take control. Funk is double teamed throughout the match, flair is the dirtiest player after all. Luger beating up Funk as flair poses with Liz outside the ring. Luger is overconfident and Funk takes control. Outside the ring, into the rails, chairshots. Funk sets up a table (That never works!) Flair is there to break up Funk's offensive run. Funk into the ring, they are going to break his arm! Flair is telling Funk that if he says he quits right now and doesn't show up at Superbrawl he can keep the use of his arm to pluck chickens on his farm in retirement. Luger and Liz wants to just go ahead and break it. 'Say I quit you old man. I made you quit ten years ago, you're going to quit again or I'll break your arm.' Hogan's music plays. Here's the Hulkster for the save. Luger and Flair are out of the ring. Hogan on the mic: 'Flair, you're jealous of Funk just like you're jealous of me. Well I'll take care of you tonight. But don't worry Terry (Funk is back up holding the chair) I'll leave something for you to beat up at Superbrawl. And Total Package, at superbrawl you're all mine! Whatcha gonna do etc..'

Cut to the back with the nWo. They are unimpressed by everything going on. Jarrett gets the Harris boys psyched for the tag title match. Meng and the Barbarian will be no problem for the Chosen One. He's got the stroke, he'll be the champ whether Nash likes it or not.

Break


920
Match six: Mamalukes v. The Harrises. Disco and Jarrett accompany their respective teams. Standard match with Mamalukes as faces in peril, Harrises with doubleteams and powermoves. Finish sees Disco get Jarrett's stroke on the floor. The distracted ref misses the guitar shot by a Harris on a Mamaluke but makes the count. 1,2,3, the nWo have captured the tag belts!

Flair interview. He's furious with Hogan. He'll beat Hogan tonight and be the #1 contender. He'll make Funk quit at the PPV. He is WCW!

Break.


935
Match Seven: Jarret vs. Meng and the Barbarian in a handicap match. Jarrett is out with the new tag champs at his side. Before the match starts Nash appears on the Nitrotron. Jeff mocks Nash. The nWo has all the gold and all the stroke. Nash plays along. Good for you. Added stipulations for this match. Harrises are banned from ringside. If anyone interferes in the match for Jeff, they are all suspended including Jeff. And Meng and Barbarian, thanks for getting back together. Beat Jarrett tonight and I'll give you a tag title shot. Match begins. Things look bad for Jarrett. He gets beat up pretty bad. He goes for the guitar shot on Meng. No sell! Jarrett running for his life. Meng holds Jarrett for the 'kick of fear.' Jarrett escapes, Barbarian is upset. Will the feud begin again? Jarrett rolls up Barbarian for the win and quickly escapes the ring glad to make it out alive. Meng hits the Togan Death grip on Barbarian.

Harlem Heat interview. J Biggs has secured from Nash the same promise of a title shot if "The Real Harlem Heat" beats Sid.

Sid interview. He's the world champ. He's the master of the world. He'll beat Harlem Heat. He'll beat Jarrett and Hall at Superbrawl.

Break


945
Match Eight: Sid vs. The Real Harlem Heat: Basic match. Sid starts strong, flaters to the doubleteams, makes comeback, Harlem Heat start to just double-team without regard. Just Plain Booker runs out to put an end to the injustice. J Biggs is knocked out (Can you dig it?) Big T goes to fight Booker. Ref calls for DQ, on Sid for outside interference! Sid doesn't mind. He chokeslams Stevie. Big T is backing away from Booker who is content to go into the ring with Sid to confront brother Stevie. Stevie, still groggy, has already rolled out. He exits with J Biggs and Big T, not happy with Booker.

Ernest Miller with Mean Gene. 'Well Okerlund I'm going to prove everyone wrong. I said I'd deliver James brown and he's agreed to perform tonight on Nitro.'

Break.



Bret Hart's taped message: Bret is sitting on the top tunbuckle of a wrestling ring in an empty arena. 'A lot of people are wondering about the Hitman. I'm wondering about the Hitman myself. The last two years have been real confusing for me. I've always tried to be a hero, a role model. Even when I was a bad guy I tried to be a role model. I've always tried to exemplify excellence in the ring. Well these last two years, I haven't quite done that. I haven't lived up to the standards I set for myself. When I came to WCW, I was cheered. (Clips of Bret's debut and role in Starcade that year) I wanted to make a difference. Things didn't work out. I joined the nWo because I thought Hogan and Bischoff understood me (Bret with the nWo) and what I was going through. Things didn't work out. I know some people call me a crybaby, they say 'Bret, stop whining.' That's fine. I hope they never experience the betrayal and sense of loss that I have. For my entire career I've wrestled for the fans. I've wrestled to hear the cheers or the boos. But lately things haven't worked out the way I always thought they would. Things have changed beyond my control. For the last two years I've been lost, I haven't known what to do. I may not have too many more years left in the ring. I wish I could just leave it all behind and move on to something else, but I can't. I was born a pro wrestler. My whole family is pro wrestling. It's in the blood of the Hart family. My brother Owen died for wrestling. In my own way, Bret Hart has also died for pro wrestling. For my entire career I've wrestled for the fans. Form here on out, I can only wrestle for myself. Boo me or cheer me, I'm only wrestling to prove to myself that I am what I've always claimed to be, (jumps off the top turnbuckle he was sitting on to stand in the ring) the best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be.' Break.



At the Nitro entrance ramp, Ernest Miller's music plays. Out comes the Cat. 'Shut up you rednecks. James Brown is right about all of you. You don't deserve to see James Brown tonight. But I'm am man of my word. I made a promise. I told everyone I'd have James Brown out here tonight so even though you rednecks won't appreciate it.' Ernest looks to the back. 'You ready JB? Ok, hit it!' The lights go out. Music starts. James brown's trademark 'Owww!' is heard. The lights come back on. At the nitro ramp is a figure with black hair, sparkling cape, red dancing shoes. It's the Cat dressed as James Brown, lipsyncing to a JB song. It might not be obvious from a wide shot, but the close up gives it away. Schiavone: 'Ladies and gentlemen I apologize. We'll be right back with our main event.'

Quick Hogan bit of him flexing and getting ready. Cut to a Flair bit of him in his robe looking as only he can look.

Break


955
Main Event: Hogan v Flair: For #1 contendership. Luger is with Flair. Feeling out process, Nature boy playing mindgames. Luger takes a swipe at Hogan. Hogan with the double noggin knocker! Hogan takes over on flair. Funk comes out to counter Luger's presence. Match continues back and forth. Finally it starts to break down. Luger takes out Funk and tries to help Flair finish off Hogan. Hogan turns the tables and eventually hits the legdrop for the 3 count. The heels are outraged and start to work over Hogan. Funk comes in to try to make the save but cannot. They are going to break Hogan's arm when familiar music plays. It's Goldberg! Out comes the former champ, cast on his arm and all. Luger and flair are totally unprepared and bail out as Goldberg hits the ring. Hogan, Funk, and Goldberg in the ring triumphant. Flair and Luger retreat. Tune into Thunder this Wednesday for more on the road to Superbrawl and next Monday night, Hogan goes for the world title! (If he makes it out of Superbrawl!)

Good night everybody!



From here: If James brown ever does come to terms for a one shot with WCW, Miller is set up to take the fall for dropping his name and impersonating him.

Jarrett is set to win the title at Superbrawl only to lose both the next Nitro. (Nash orders him to defend both. Hogan is locked into the World title already, but Nash can give hall the shot at the US belt. Jarrett's prgram after losing the belts is to fight the conspiracy and go for the commissionership.)

Tank sets up the 'skins match' on Thunder!

Psic, Juvy, and Silver King are set to be a stable of rudos to give the cruiser division some flavor.

Luger is going to break Funk's arm at Superbrawl when Sting returns to put a stop to it. (based on info that Sting is ready to go)

The Harris Brothers are tag champs. Harlem Heat are up next for the belts. Build perhaps to a match with the Outsiders.

Mamalukes establish themselves as a tagteam. Perhaps in six or nine months they'd be ready for a real run with the belts. If I do longterm booking of WCW I bring back the US tag titles (and the TV belt too)

Booker is going to get his T back and the Heat gimmick. He's also set to go to the heavyweight main event division, teaming with Sid a time or two against Harlem Heat, Luger/Flair and then moving to the world title picture. (turn Sid on Hogan for the belt. Face Booker vs. heel Sid for the belt mid2000)

Bret is set to return as a face when he returns.

And Goldberg returns to pop the house even if he's not ready to wrestle for awhile.

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Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission