Dear CRZ-
I thought you'd like to have these first, before they end up on WrestleLine or something. (Actually, they'll probably end up on WrestleLine before your unedited Nitro report does.)
:)

This is either a really stupid idea, or a new Tuesday tradition! (Or both.)

Hello! I have just returned from the fake Smackdown tapings in Cincinnati, Ohio! What a show! I had great seats, so I could see everything, but due to the noise I couldn't hear the OvalTron for some parts.

Dark Matches:

Steve Bradley pinned Nick Dinsmore

Fatu (in a sumo outfit) pinned Bull Buchanan(?)

Sunday Night Heat Tapings:

Chris Jericho defeated Sean Stasiak by submission

The Acolytes defeated Taka & Funaki when Bradshaw pinned Funaki

Mark Henry pinned Viscera

Kurt Angle defeated The Blue Meanie by pinfall.

Vince and the Stooges are in the back, talking with one of the cops from Monday. Shane, Test & Stephanie walk in. Test says that he's ready for a title shot. Vince tells them that he's busy. Test keeps pushing until Vince agrees to give Test & Shane a title shot against the New Age Outlaws.

Match 1
Chyna vs. Mideon (Intercontinental Title)
Mideon gets some good shots in, but Chyna begins to take over when Jericho comes out and attacks her from behind with an ironing board. Jericho then stomps on Chyna's injured hand where Mideon does the Raven sitdown in the corner. Jericho then runs off with the belt. Chyna wins by DQ.

Video Footage of Al Snow & Mankind in Vegas is shown. They meet the two detectives from UPN's "The Strip". After the meeting, Foley decides that they should try to figure out who ran over Austin. Al points out that all the suspects are in Cincinnati. Mick says "So What"?

Interview The Rock comes out to a great ovation. Finally, the Rock has come back to Cincinnati! The Rock demands a match with Boss Man and Prince Albert, and promises to take Albert, turn him sideways, and you know the rest. Boss Man and Prince Albert come out, wearing bandages, and stand on the rampway, gloating at The Rock. Big Show comes out and attacks from behind. Boss Man runs away, while Big Show practically throws Albert through the set!

We see video footage of the Acolytes in a bar, drinking with members of the Cincinnati Bengals.

Match 2
Matt Hardy vs. X-Pac
This was a very good match while it lasted. X-Pac hits the spinning heel kick but only gets a two count. Matt hits the senton bomb, but is pulled off by Road Dog. This brings out the Hardy Boys. During the fight, X-Pac hits the X-Factor for the win.

Video of The Acolytes shooting pool with Corey Dillon & Darnay Scott of the Bengals, when the Acolytes are challenged to a fight by three guys. The Acolytes tell the Bengals to wait inside. They go outside and beat up the jabronis, but are attacked from behind by the Dudleys. There is a HUGE third Dudley, who looks a lot like Wrath.

Match 3
Tori vs. Ivory
This is a hardcore rules Ladies Title match. They start at ringside and quickly brawl to the back. Ivory gets busted open with a garbage can. Tori is about to win when all four members of DX grab her and carry her off. I guess it was a no contest.

Back in Vegas, video of Mick Foley and Al Snow, who are playing detectives. They interrogate a showgirl with large breasts. Snow keeps calling her "Rena".

Match 4
Edge (w/ Christian) vs. Triple H (with DX)
Another very good match. Edge dove over the top rope onto DX at the start of the match, which gets a huge pop. Edge finally goes for the downward spiral, but Hunter counters with the Pedigree and pins Edge. DX beats up Edge and Christian, but the Hardy Boys come out to even things up, and then Kane races to ringside and gets hold of Triple H. Kane starts choking Hunter, then as everyone else brawls to the back, chokeslams Hunter 3 times. Tori finally runs out and begs him to stop.

Video shown of Mideon, who is sneaking around the hallway. He ducks into the garage, and is talking to an unseen figure. He tells the figure that everyone is looking for him.

Match 5
D. Lo Brown & The Godfather vs. Too Cool
The Godfather and D. Lo come out with five ho's. Godfather tries to offer the ho's to Too Cool, but they shake their heads "No." Everybody laughs. Too Cool does some good moves, but Godfather catches Scotty with the Ho Train and D. Lo pins him with the frog splash.

Another video of Al Snow & Mankind, who are in Vegas, interrogating an Elvis impersonator. Mankind says that Austin stole the guy's wife. Snow keeps calling the Elvis impersonator "Mongo". The guys gets security to take Mankind and Snow away.

Interview
Chris Jericho comes out, wearing the Intercontinental Title. Michael Hayes goes out to interview him in the ring, but Jericho demands to be interviewed by a "real announcer". Out comes the Blue Meanie, dressed up as Schiavone! Jericho calls him "Skee-a-vone" while Meanie hypes the upcoming "Monday Night Jericho" show. Chyna runs out with her injured hand and clears the ring.

Backstage, Vince and the cops are looking at some type of security camera tape. They see something on the tape and go charging out of the room.

Match 6
The Rock vs. Prince Albert
The Rock pins Albert in less than three minutes with the People's Elbow. Not much of a match.

On the video, we see Vince, the Stooges and the detectives hunting for someone in the parking garage. A car nearly hits Vince, and he has to jump out of the way. The car drives off.

Match 7
New Age Outlaws vs. Test & Shane McMahon
This match went several minutes. The Outlaws hit all their good moves on Test, but can't pin him. Shane tags in and almost wins with a spinning elbow. Hunter and X-Pac run out and all the DX members destroy Test and Shane. I think they stopped taping after that, because the screen went dark. Eventually, Kane and The Rock comes out. Kane chases off X-Pac, and the Rock cleans house.

The Rock takes the microphone and does his rap. The cooler guy throws Rock a beer. Rock takes a swig and spits it out. "The Rock comes out and electrifies these people, and all you can give the Rock is a Natural Light?" The crowd pops for that, and the Rock sings Smackdown Hotel to send everyone home happy.