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Buff McKenzie

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THE BUFF REPORT
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Hello.

I am Buff, your Friendly Neighborhood Superhero.

I begin in the interest of clarity and correctness (izzat a word?).

It seems that Mr. Root (fellow CRZ columnist, plug, plug) has taken slight umbrage with my past column.  And I admit, I said some things that might get a few old school fans riled.

But I never said, "get used to it." That infers that my editorial was mean spirited, which I did not intend.  The gist of what I was saying was that if it's entertaining, even if it's not in-ring action, there's no need to pan it.  I never said that actual wrestling wasn't entertaining.  It's the primary reason I watch wrestling.  I enjoy every stenton-bomb, jackhammer, plancha, bump and "oh-shit!" moment of it; been watching it since the early 80's, when I was but a wee lad - I think my babysitter even dated Ivan Putski a few times...
But I like the other stuff too.  I went-off, so to speak, because of the outrage expressed at Flair/Crowbar being the tag champs. I find them entertaining.  And I think Daphne is way hot. Yes, Buff likes the goth-girls.

Anyway, I like wrestling.  If you like only wrestling, check out your local indie.  Hell, the Buffster was actually approached couple of years back to join a local indie (no lie).  I'm actually still considering it.

Oh.  You might have taken that as an apology, but you'd be wrong.  I don't apologize for my opinions.

Onward.

Strong Words (my letters section):

FROM: Daniel Taylor <thegame2001@hotmail.com>
I just wanted to write a quick note telling you how much I enjoyed your recent column.

There are two things I especially agreed with:

First of all, I couldn't agree more with your comment about entertainment on television.  There
are a number of people who are excellent *wrestlers,* but just aren't entertaining to watch.
Without the performing skills,  they don't fit into the package.  I'm a fan of the Hardys, and
they ARE entertaining to watch,  but the one thing I think every week is:  "The one thing that's
keeping them from being break-out stars is their lack of interview ability or character
development."  Sure, they're mildly popular,  but often get pops that pale in comparison to
those of Too Cool.  If they could get the full package,  they'd no doubt surpass the New Age
Outlaws in terms of popularity.  Performing AND wrestling ability is a rare combination... but
when it works,  it's a goldmine.

Secondly,  I'm glad I'm not the only one who is a fan of David, Crowbar, and Daffney. (Daphne?
What spelling are they settling on?)  They are the most entertaining thing on WCW's programming
right now, in my opinion.  (That's not saying much, but still...)  Since you are a fan, and
apparently a fellow admirer of Daffney,  I'll ask:  Do you have any information on her?  I have
never seen her before this.  Also,  any idea where one could get some pictures of her?  I've
e-mailed WCW's website about a photo gallery, yet to no avail.  She definitely looks better than
a lot of the Nitro Girls.  My fear is that David Flair will eventually go back to normal (He's
healed!  He was insane but got better) after his father retires,  and attempt a career as a
"serious" wrestler.  By that time, Daffney and Crowbar will be sent off to Saturday Night,  if
they're not dumped altogether. ::sigh::

Thanks for your time.

A fan,
Daniel Taylor

Well it seems that Daphne's fan-base is growing. No pun intended.  It also seems that David has a Daphne fan site at:

http://members.xoom.com/_XMCM/TheGame2K/daffney.html

It has a few good pictures, and I'm sure he would appreciate any that you, the Buff-o-maniacs, could send him. And since I'm on the subject, and there seems to be an interest, I ask:
Where the hell did she come from?  If anybody has any info about her past, let me know and I will collect and report, as it were. Maybe I'll devote an entire column to it! Not that I'm obsessed, but hey, I said it several times... Buff likes goth-girls.

Onward!

First off, I must say that this will mark the last lengthy preamble to my columns.  Too much shite to muddle through before getting to the real poop.  And if you understood that...

Buff's Mark-Out Moment of the Week:
The Superfly Splash! 'Nuff Said.

Now...
I touched on ECW last week and how they could improve their broadcast.  I have thought about it, and wish to expand on it.

First off :
The Promos:
Admittedly, I cringe every time I see one on ECW.  Wrestlers talking to a disembodied camera is too low-budget for a nationally aired program.  It cheapens the performance, no matter how good on the stick a wrestler is.  Paul E, spring for an interviewer to be there for the promos. You'd be surprised how much a warm body would help production values and add credibility. Not to mention the potential for sneak-attacks during interviews and a whole host of other deviltry.  But I admit that disembodied cameras are good for a few things.... e.g. shots of wrestlers, et. al. WALKING!!! (TM CRZ)

2nd:
Now I know this is stealing from competition, but a big-screen "jumbo-tron" would also help.  Not only would people in the cheap seats be able to see close-up action, but it could be an invaluable tool to advance story lines.  Wrestlers could see replays of dusty finishes, backstage antics of their rivals and at the same time have cool entrance videos.

3rd:
Better cameras and an actual live production.  Instead of post-production editing of the shows, why not have a live technical director calling the shots and switching between live video feeds?  It would give the show a more professional feel, as well as a more believable "you are there" atmosphere. This brings me to-

4th:
Put the announcers ringside!  It's been around for so long because it works!  A live commentary is much more believable than post-production voice-overs.

If it seems like most of what I am saying has to do with production values, it's because it is.  The product and its workers are what makes ECW what it is, but to compete with the BIG TWO, Paul E. must start thinking globally.  These are issues that aren't going to fix themselves.  True, it is going to take a bit of financial investment from TNN.  True, it's going to take Paul E. loosening his tight-fisted grip on company control, i.e. his way or the highway. But this would improve the product's presentation immensely.

I make the analogy:
Would you buy an action figure in a damaged box?  The figure and accessories are all there and in good shape, but the box is damaged and lying in a pile of other damaged box items in a bin on the floor.  Nothing is wrong with it.  It will provide just as much enjoyment to the one actually playing with the toy.  But the box is damaged and the product is poorly displayed.  Would you buy the figure? No? Probably not.

Get the picture? Paul E, presentation is everything - get used to it! (There, I said it!) If it wasn't Britney Spears wouldn't be a best-selling artist (and I use that term loosely).

Maybe someone could forward this to Mr. Dangerously. Maybe not.  Either way, I am right.

I am Buff.

And now... the picture...
This is from my last band Kill Alex Rogan (vague reference [tm Michaelangelo]).  Yes, we wore face paint and played wall-of-noise metal.  It was fun.  You only get a head-shot because I am vain and at that time, I was not as buff as I am now.  I had a shoulder injury that prevented me from lifting weights.  But soon, you will get a recent picture. Promise.

Now can you see why I am enamored of Daphne?

Motive Eight is my new band.  We play a more tame style of metal.  And no make-up; it gets hot under there. We have MP3's.  If you so desire, I'll tell you where to get them... just e-mail me.  No more self-promotion today.

Be like Buff, behave.

Buff McKenzie
freelance

Email me, I like it
Visit Motive Eight

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Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission