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Buff McKenzie

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STRONG WORDS

Hello

I am Buff (it's true).

Your friendly neighborhood superhero.

Defender of the 'Hood.

First, I have changed the name of my column to "Strong Words" because it seems there's another "Report" guy here at CRZ.

And the world nods its silent approval.... or that silence could mean no one's out there...*sniff*...

Second I have renamed my letters section (since I now call my column what I used to call this.)
It's now titled the self deprecating "You mean people read this!?"

And here we go...

You Mean People Read This?

First letter is from GSR13
To: smashem@hotmail.com
Subject: Possible Correction
Date: Mon, 31 Jan 2000 12:15:34 -0500

Buff:

In your latest column, you make the following paraphrased statement taken from the Steven Siegal movie "Marked for Death"

Everybody want famous, but nobody want dead

Perhaps I am mistaken, but I believe what was actually said was:

Everybody want go heaven, but nobody want dead

Just thought I would throw this out.  If I am wrong, I accept that I should have kept my mouth shut.  If I am right, we can all
have a cookie and by the time it is eaten noone will remember this anyway.

GSR13

Well it retrospect it seems you are correct. That means you win the "Department Of Corrections" award for this week. Congratulations to GSR13.

Anyway I can cover my mistake by saying that it's a paraphrase. Yeah, that's it...
If you want the context, check my LAST COLUMN(you did read it, didn't you?). It'll open in a new window. (Hey look CRZ, I did it all by myself!)
Oh... and I think I will have a cookie (mmmmm... chocolate chip...)! Nice Matrix reference, GSR....

The next comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous...
 

I still say that Michaelangelo and CyanIndigo are the same lonely guy with
nothing better to do than try to make us all believe he's not a loser.  I
haven't been able to convince anyone else of this yet.

But if you print this, and I'd rather you didn't, because really, who cares
about my theories on internet personalities, keep my name out, ...[snip] I don't really want angry emails.

yeah.

Well I'm convinced!

And I do want angry e-mail... or ANY e-mail, for that matter...

So begins the conspiracy, started by moi, in my LAST COLUMN.

Are Cyan and Michaelangelo the same person?

Or do you have a better theory? Mail 'em all to smashem@hotmail.com and I'll post 'em all.

This could be fun.

I haven't seen 'em here for a while... did they hump to death? Did the mind-boggling clashing of hoser and yankee cultures create a spiraling inescapable vortex OF DOOM?

Do I know what I'm talking aboot? Eh?

Probably not.

Onward!

Title this one: Vince McMahon, The New God of... Football?

Today, Thursday February 3rd, 2000 Vinnie Macaroni unveiled some exciting plans for XFL - which for the unwashed masses is - a new pro football league owned by WWFE.

Hallelujah!

Apparently it's going to be a new league with more Attitude(tm wwwfe). I have read that it will have less politics and more smashmouth, not to mention more technology, like helmet cams, sideline mic's and much much more. And new rules will ensure that games will move along at a much faster pace, resulting in shorter game-times.

As well, I believe that McMahon plans on elevating top stars in the same way wrestlers are pushed, with merchandise, promo spots and more.

Hmm... sounds a bit like BaseketBall.

Getting back to the Hallelujah...

I love football. I was born in the cradle of football, Western Pennsylvania. If you know anything about football, you know what I mean. Ditka, Namath, Marino and many more legends came from this tiny area of the country.  There, we live and breathe football.  We bleed Steeler Black and Gold.  When you are born, the love of football is taught to you from your first day of life.

I have been watching since before I was 3, and therefore have seen at least 3 of the Steelers Superbowl victories.

That pretty much sealed it. No matter how poorly the team is doing, I still love them. They are my #1 team forever.

Now I live in St. Louis.  The Rams are my #2 team. And they just won the big game. I am ecstatic.

But football is OVER *sob*! The withdrawal is setting in!

I hate it when football is not in season.

But now, Vinnie Mac, my savior and new favorite swell guy is bringing back football with the XFL. A league that will play in the NFL off-season. Brilliant idea, really.  Starting the week after the Super or Pro Bowl will ensure a big ratings for football-hungry fans, and big revenue for our savior.

Bless this man.

One downside. And it happens to be for the Frozen North. XFL needs lots of new athletes. CFL officials are concerned that XFL will woo players away with bigger salaries.

Will America ever stop the prejudice against our Northern neighbors? Eh?

I guess not.

But on a serious note, finding athletes competent enough to put on an interesting game will be difficult.  Scrub players from NFL Europe and the CFL aren't going to cut the muster. They're going to have to find players somewhere.

Lace up your cleats, fans....

But really, who cares? It's football!!!!!

If you need me, I'll be running wind-sprints and practicing my pass routes....



And now for the section called:
Shameless Self Promotion
Have you heard my band, Motive Eight? No? We have MP3's at :
Motive Eight Online

I am the singer. I think we have potential. Whadda you think? Are we better than Rick Scaia's band?

Well, are we?

Anyway, if you go, thanks in advance.....


Remember....
Be like Buff, behave.

Buff McKenzie
freelance

Email me, I like it
Visit Motive Eight

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Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission