You are here /wrestling
/guests
/McGuire
Guest Columns

Clint McGuire

Main

BLAH

BUCKSHOT

That does it!

For the past 25 years I have been a pro wrestling fan. I have watched all sorts of wrestling presented by a variety of organizations: the AWA, WCCW, UWF, ECW, Lucha Libre, GLOW, and of course the WWF. However, through it all I have considered myself first and foremost a fan of the National Wrestling Alliance/World Championship Wrestling. I have stuck with them through thick and thin, and seen a lot of good and bad come about. This time, however, I have had all I can stand, I can't stand no more.

I should have known something was up when, on Starrcade weekend, I heard rumors that WCW was in negotiations with the Ultimate Warrior. Maybe it was a red herring (ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseletitbejustarumor), or idle gossip, but it raised my hackles to hear it even mentioned. Mr. Destrucity back in the federation he almost sank? Geesh!

Then the reports started coming in from Starrcade. Piper...Hart...Goldberg...screwjob. The 900th consecutive "tribute to Montreal" happened and damn it all, I missed it (Full sarcasm mode engaged, captain!).

And finally, I saw the following night's "Nitro", and the oh-so-surprising return of the new World order.

Okay, let me get this straight: Russo and Ferrara are lured away from the WWF to come South and write the same friggin' storylines that Bischoff was pushing for the past three years? I'll say this much for the "Powers that Be"; they're at least environmentally conscious. They're not afraid to recycle the same garbage over and over and over and...

I'll admit, the NWO was a great idea in 1996. It got Hogan over as a heel for the first time since 1981, and while it was still a small group (up to the joining of Sean "1-2-3-SyxX-pac" Waltman) it was a lean, mean rulebreaking machine. It all started to go downhill when the B-team joined, and by the time Rodman put his no-selling slack ass in the ring, the writing was on the wall.

When I saw the NWO die a slow, torturous death this year, I thought "good riddance." But like Jason, Freddie Krueger and hordes of other movie monsters, they're back. And just like the monsters listed previously, the new version is vastly inferior to the original.

Of course, I have read columns and USENET postings saying "it'll work", "give it a chance", "they've learned their lesson". I say "WHAT SHOW ARE YOU WATCHING??!?" On Thursday, Nash informed us the NWO would be an exclusive group this time, and on this week's "Nitro", they welcomed Scott Steiner back into the group, in a turn that was telegraphed more than SOS from the Titanic. Thanks, WCW, thanks for throwing this pile of no-selling crap back into our faces.

Well, that does it. I have sat through the Black Scorpion, the Shockmaster, the Ding Dongs, Robocop, the weird guy from "Quest for Camelot", "A Flair for the Gold", Evad, Rick Steiner vs. Chucky, and more Sid interviews than I care to remember. I've had some good memories and seen some great matches otherwise, but I can't go through another week of "N-W-O" and Nash trying to be a hip 40-year old and Steiner committing an OJ on the English language and the audience chanting the catch phrases like a herd of lobotomized sheep.

I remember an interview with Jesse Ventura in an issue of Pro Wrestling Illustrated (back when they were the only news source in town). In it, he was asked about the status of the AWA, which was suffering from lagging ratings at the time. He commented that the AWA was "about one-half a swirl from the bottom of the toilet bowl." I believe the same can be said about WCW at this moment.

Good night, Vince and Ed. Wake me when the funeral's over.

Clint McGuire
[slash] wrestling

Mail the Author
Visit Clintster's House of Photography
Visit the Net Wits

BLAH

Main

Design copyright (C) 1999 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright (C) 1999 by the individual author and used with permission